thinking of coming out

I want to come out...but I don't know if I'm ready to. I've been thinking about it for a while; its almost been blurted out; in a drunken state I've said it to a couple of my friends but it hasn't been brought up since. I'm really scared about what would happen. I feel like everyone knows already but at the same time I feel like they would be shocked. I wish I had someone who I could trust but I dont know who would talk to who.

Did people come out to one person and not to anyone else for a while? I feel like I want to tell my friend but I dont want other people knowing yet.


P.S...did this post make sense? I doubt it but its whats going through my head....

 

honestly i think you need to do whatever makes YOU feel the best. I'm sure you'll know when the time is right....its probably a hard thing to go through, im sure you never feel as if your truly yourself...only you can change that. And I wouldn't worry so much about your friends, if these people are worth calling friends they should accept whatever decisions you choose to make for your own happiness. At such a time as this I think you should surround yourself with positive, uplifting, and supportive people.

Good luck with everything. Peace and Love.

 

I agree with freefalling and would like to add that for me it was a lot easier to come out to one person at a time. Like that, you can concentrate fully on the person you're talking to, you only have to deal with one reaction, you don't risk the person you come out to is scared of reacting positively because of others present who might not be so accepting etc. Besides, coming out to only one friend or a few first gives you a support person to talk to when other coming out incidences don't go so well. If you only feel like talking to that one friend first, do it like that. You could politely ask him not to tell anybody because you don't feel secure enough to face other people's reactions yet.
If you feel surer about the whole coming out issue, you could leave out the "please don't tell" part when talking to the next person and risk the news spreading.

My coming out went like this, kinda:
1. only confiding in one person
2. telling some more close friends
3. telling a less close friend who told some others
4. not caring anymore and just being open because close friends knew anyway and the others were not worth worrying about

Good luck and let us know how it turned out!

 

best of luck with everything!

coming out is a very difficult thing to do and congratulations for deciding to do this.

keep us informed!

 

My situation was pretty similar.

 

jus tell people. I promise in time. it will make no sense to you now that you even cared in the first place promise!

 

i don't know what im more scared of the "well i suspected" answer or the "fuck you dude" answer...and im still nervous of being labelled by the word "gay"

i just want to be me...not be the "gay friend Tim"...

 

well i told the first person tonight...im still waiting for the relieved feeling i hear about

 

And...?

What was their response? Good, bad, don't know?

 

Yeah,....So how did it work out telling that 1st person? I actually have'nt *Formally come out to anyone,Although alot of people know or at least suspect anyways,lol.,..I'm very nervous about it so I always like to hear what others go through with it.It's probably not as complicated as my brain makes it.What everyone has said makes alot of sense and is helpful and supportive although it's not my original post (lol) .You're not alone,...Let us know how that worked out.

Thanks and Peace,
Good Luck
J

 

their response was fine i guess...i kinda made it obvious with all my beating around the bush at first so she knew when i finally told her...nothing has changed since (yea i know, its only been a day) but it feels good to have at least one person know.

it kinda makes me want to tell everyone who doesn't know

 

*Hearty laugh*,....Cool,...Yeah it makes me feel more optimistic,..I want to tell everyone,.and then I don't want to tell anyone lol,..I guess time will help.Sounds like you've got a good start though.Wish I could be more couragous.
J

 

Yes, congratulations! I'm glad she took it well.

When I first told someone it was a huge relief. Unfortunately I didn't have time to stay and talk about it and I never saw him for about a week. He said he was fine with it when I told him but for the rest of the week I had been pondering whether he was really okay with it. I was worried that things might be different between us or that he'd try and avoid me or something. In the end it has actually brought us closer together.

Anyway, I'm glad it worked out well. Keep us posted if you tell anyone else.

 

i think im in that same boat...im dying to tell certain people; especially those people i know won't care what I am. But im freaking out about telling those people whose reactions I can't predict. My roommate for next year doesn't know and while I think he'll be fine with it, Im afraid he might say "i dont want to live with a gay kid." And then there is my best friend who has never expressed any feelings whatsoever about gay people, postivie or negative so I'm also worried about that. But they're just gonna have to deal with it at this point i think.

But being able just to talk to someone you know (not that having complete strangers give you advice isn't helpful) about what is going through your mind, telling them how you know, just being able not to have to worry about making a slip up has been great.