Is it just me, or is Mitch Hedberg the perfect stoner standup comedian? I think he's absolutely ingenius and after every joke i always hafta stop an think about how awsome it was haha let it truly sink in an all that. Anybody agree? If u havnt heard of him youtube Mitch Hedberg an find the hilarity.
"an escalator can never break down; they just become stairs. that's why instead of putting a sign on one saying 'escalator temporarily out of order', there should be a sign saying 'escalator temporarily stairs.'" and can't forget Steven Wright.
Shit, i loooove Mitch Hedburg! He was such a funny guy. My favorites = "An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'" and "I walked by a dry cleaner at 3 am, and there was a sign: 'Sorry, we're closed' You don't have to be sorry, it's 3 am, and you're a dry cleaner! It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open! I'm not gonna walk in at 10 am and say 'I walked by here at 3 and you were closed - somebody owes me an apology!'"
People who smoke cigarettes, they say "Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking." Yes, I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing. "You seem jittery." "Yeah, I'm about to floss." a true hero. i miss him so.
R.I.P. One liners are great. They are simple and it doesn't take much to udnerstand the scenerio that the joke requires for you to understand it. I have not slept for 10 days. why not? because that would be too long.
"I usually carry around a pad and pen with me, so when I think of something funny I can write it down. One day I left the pad and pen at home, so I tried to convince myself that what I thought of was not funny."
"Do you think when the guy who invented the bong, had a black light pop up over his head?" he's a classic man
I keep watching videos of him on youtube, its just the funniest shit ever haha i swear to god theres never been a more stoner perfect comedian
