My friends will hate me!

Im 19, and will be a sophomore in college this fall. Inside I have finally embraced the truth about my sexuality, I'm bi. I have a group of great guy friends. The truth is I really don't find them attractive, except for one. I'm not ready to come out yet, but when I do I'm afraid he'll never speak to me again...Anyone with a similiar experience?...ps. I actually get choked up when im around him now, what do i do?

 

it is ok that you are finding out about you sexuality. Nd Some guyz r just ugly lol n it is very cute that u like him nd if he is a real truethfull friend he will exept u 4 hu u r. the onlii 1z that will turn u away r the fake wanna be friendz. n u dont hv to come out yet when u r just now discovering this urself. it is best to just take it in 4 urself right now. if u think u r not ready to come out them u arent. n dont be embarressed around him cuz hell know somethings up just be like urself n if its hard to do that around him. just try ur hardest but not to hard. i hope i am helping.

the BEST of wishes to u

 

Thx emochiildof07, but I find it hard to be myself when its just me and him

 

i know exactly how you feel its ok i bet u think about EVRYTHING u r going to do b4 u do it n plan out what his reaction will be?

 

Yeah I do, I want him so bad but I know I can't have him

 

lol n y not?? u seem like a very nice eron

 

girl**

 

Uh yeah, Im a guy, and hes straight

 

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


thats y u think u cant hv him. hu knowz he cuz be bi or gay u nvr might kno.

evrything else i said stil standz i am soooooo srry plz 4give

 

thats ok, but im 99.9% sure hes straight, when should i tell him if ever

 

umm like if ur like 100% sure u like him like tlk to him to see if hed be ok with a bi frind but dont like tell him or be serios be all like hey dude u kno cindy or hu evr shez bi n katie wigged out n then laugh n say that while ur laughin n be all like dude wud u EVR be cool with a bisexual friend n laugh he will most likely laugh n give u an answer if he says no move onto sum1 worth ur time if he says yes then guud wait a few days then move onto a strategie to kno if hez bi

 

Well has the subject of gays or bi's ever come up before? If so how did he act? What did he say? What did his opinion on them seem to be?

I would only consider NOT telling him if he seems hostile to the homo- or bisexuals. If he's positive or apathetic, go for it. But even if hes positive towards them, if he's straight, he still might be a little freaked out if he knows your attracted to him. Just understand that going into it and just be careful about it. Good luck

 

Hes acts as though hes anti-gay but I think its just a front, I think deep inside himself he could care less

 

like i said make sure hez ok with it

 

Zepplimaniac,
it's my opinion that you need to be open about your sexuality... for your own sake. Keeping something like your sexuality, to yourself, out of fear of what people might say, is only going to create perfect breeding ground for very low self confidence/shame in yourself/your sexuality. In other words, you need to FREE yourself.

First, gather yourself to come out like you need/want to, and THEN worry about what to do with the friend you like... The first and foremost important thing right now, is being honest and confident about who you are.

And, IF this guy (or any of your other friends) doesn't take kindly to your sexuality, withOUT you even telling him that you like him... then he isn't someone who is worth your time in the first place. If he is "anti-gay" like you said he acts... then why would you want to bother with someone who can't accept you for who you are in the first place? I mean, even just as friends...

I don't think your biggest issue is the guy you like.. I think your biggest issue is freeing yourself, and being honest about who you are.

 

i had the EXACT situation, first i told some female friends cos theyre were more comfortable with it and you can say stuff to em and they wont get creeped out like guys might, so i could get it off my chest. then i moved on to telling my best male friends, when i told em they were shocked at first but still fine then later i told my male friend who i fancied that i did, he was actually flattered even tho he wasnt bi or gay he seemed fine as long as i "didnt try anything" =D lol im sure things will be fine!

Sam

 

Well, a bit of an update. I have told 3 of my closest male friends, and it was great. They said they don't care, and will support me no matter what, that meant everything to me. Tonight, I plan to tell my friend who I am attracted to that I like him. Dear God I hope he doesn't reject me.

And thanks everyone for your posts!

 

hello

my name is niels and i have about the same situation as you.
i am bi too but i probaly never get around of telling anyone. you told it to 3 of your friends so i like to get advice since your now ahead of me. my situation:

a nice friendly group of friends who i often see. one of them i like so much when i see him my knees start to rattle and i i feel the blood pouring away from my brains(and guess where it goes ). i know for sure he is not bi because i have seen him with his girlfriend and they love each other very much. im 19 now and i finished my last year with him. so from now on i only see im on partys and ""get to gethers"". every time i see my friends i just want to tell them all and get it done. but we mostly get drunk and then fall asleep. my prob is i really want to tell them the truth. but i never get around too it. even now when i am typing this message i am afraid the door to my chamber opens and someone rushes in.

i know for a fact my dad will never approve me as a bi. he said and i mean this for real
" if any of my children are gay i would hang myself."
so my family i can never tell. my mother perhaps but im sure she just dont care or will not understand.
for the last past months i am feeling a deep and uncomfortable feeling. i really want someone to chare my dreams with and such. someone nice who will like it when we kuddle and who i feel good with. someone i am happy with if i can fall asleep in his arms. i feel as time is drawing closer for me to tell and i cant get the courage for it anywhere.
since you found a way to tell your friends about could you give me some advice?.

my first strategy was to get them all drunk on a party and then tell them and hope they fall asleep before answering. but i know realize that there is no point in that.

so before i go and cry myself to sleep again thinking that i am on a road to nowhere. i once more ask help for what to do. any advice is higly appreciated and needed.

thank you

sincerly niels

ps: sorry for any spelling mistakes but i am from belgium so...

 

Niels,

My friends are very open minded (as I came to realize), so it was very easy for me. I told each one separately, one on one. Amazingly, they think it was very bold of me to come out. Not one of them showed any disgust or hatred. The most important thing to tell your friends is that your friendship with them is the most important thing to you, and you would never do anything to hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable. If they truly care for you, they will not turn their back on the relationship.

As for the friend whom you have a crush on, this can be a very difficult situation to deal with. Again, talk to him one on one, and go through the steps I outlined above. Then tell him, again, that you would never do anything to harm your friendship, and that you care for him deeply. Then, you can tell him that you are attracted to him. Say that you can't control whom you are attracted to, and that it just happens this way. You can't be sorry for liking him. Most importantly, give him a chance to talk and vent his feelings to you. (The last thing I said to him was, if you ever are lonely and horny, don't be afraid to call me, cause I'll give you a blow job you'll never forget.) Ok, granted, I said this as a joke, but I really meant it

Best Wishes
Greg

 

thank you for the help.
then I tell them one on one about my "secret" and hope for the best.
although i probaly dont have the courage for making a joke like that.

but now that the friends problem is over i am still a bit worried about my familie.
as of today i found out that my brother is also under the influence of cliche's.
when the subject of a gay son of one of the workers came up all the workers in the lunchroom. began to laugh and tell corny jokes. and to my shame my brother was the one telling the most jokes. and he ended the break with one of the most idiotic sentences of all.

"they can do what they ike as long as they dont come to me begging for some"

like all bi people jump on every man/woman they see?

what hurt me the most is the fact that that dad of the boy, (you know the gay one) actually laughed to and made jokes about his own son?
what on earth is going on his mind then? he laughs at his own son for coming out with the biggest secret in his life.

i remained in the luch room to but i never laughed or even replied to the assholes there.
i wanted to shove my fork in their eyes. i was that mad.

so i willtel my friends but never my familie.
sorry to say that but i consider that my best option.



my thanks to you friend for helping me with this greg

love ya man