for anyone to not be able to understand what it is like to die is beyond me i am now only walking among the living a lifeless creature
somtimes id think about death. without wanting too. seeing awfull fucked up shit in the head when your tripping and stuff. its not nice. try to get out of it, try to change your mindset. a complete change in life helps, usually why fucked up people run away and live weird places to get their shit together. it helps tho. in your case id do anything nesecary. like seeing in my head while trippin people holding mice by the tail and with all their force fling them on to a concrete wall. i could see from in thir minds, the sudden blacknes, the nothing, all over. people being torn apart and cut up. being at a horrific car accident on acid seeing your mum cut in half, and people screaming, absolutly horrific. and once on acid, it was awfull, but finished watchin some porn, lay in bed, and all i saw for the next few hours was the most horrific porn in my mind, i couldnt stop it. but horifffic in a way i dont want to describe. why am i tellin you this. bah, do somthing about the way you feel
your a jackass, i hope you werent the kid walking around at summercamp saying "Adam?, Omally!, Summercamp!, were all dead but were still here." for like 2 hours strait.
Death is an interesting thing. Master death, and you've mastered life. But if death conquers you, life will conquer you.
my first few times tripping i really believed i would die (in a good way) --i felt full of light and far away from me...like i was connecting with "the whole" of existance or something...really hard to describe except that i had the thought "this must be what its like when you die" and it was awesome..like i could just fly off the planet. i always believed in the after-life...but it was blind faith and ultimately death scared me a bit and when someone died i would still be devestated. since those lsd experiences i no longer fear death....it will be a welcome 'trip' when the time comes. since then, when someone dies or gets diagnosed with something terminal there is a part of me that's more happy for them than sad. funny, when you are no longer afraid to die, you are no longer afraid to live.
This is the reason I don't want to do acid. I mean I get fucked up shit in my head sober. I know Id see crazy shit on acid.
most people do not see that kind of shit on acid...in fact peters the first i've heard of, but maybe he's just the first one to be open??? who knows..
No.. Higher doses can uncover heaven n hell it is well documented that people can visualize wars and horrifc scenes from our human society. I have had some wild doses of mushrooms and visualized people disolving and people being hurt in brutal ways. even of 2C-I i visualized at a festival people going insane and medics coming to take them away to an assylum or that. (fair enough mostpeople dont have this on that substance but it worked well too hard on me, everyones different) Not all my trips are like this but it does happen nothing to do with the individual as such but the collective unconcscious of our human compatriots. Or we all mite be a little fucked up Peace \/
but its strange, cause its not as if im into that sort of shit, im not gothic or nothing. i apreciate life, and when i get depressed i try to do somthing about it. but its like your trippin, just say on weed even, and you hear a scratch on the door, and your so far down in the mind that it seems like theres been a horrfic car accident outside, and someones cut in half and crawlled up the driveway and is scratching on the door. everywhere i go i think im gonna trip and smash my teeth out on a step, or plough my head through a window. its actually pretty disturbing, but iv gotten used to it. i know its not normal, theres nothing i can do.
wow umm yes its not normal but there is something you can do seek help what your describing is a rathger serius mental condition i believe, a chemical imballance psychodelics are absolutely wrong for you at least unt\ill youve gotten your mind under control then id be very hesitent still & use very loew experimental doses to see if u can handle it your top priority now though should be a healthy mind not getting more fucked up in the head ive taken mega doses & watched my own body disolve into a psychodelic sesspool of liquified organs nerves & tissues that melted off my bones & spread out across the floor.. i literaly was a puddle of my self but id never had a trip like what u describe if i did it would be my last trip ever
Popper, you're not crazy. Many people have thoughts like this all the time, but are afraid to admit it. Many people don't, but personally, I don't know what it's like not to. I'm surprised folks are so surprised by your descriptions. It's not like you're actually smashing mice, just able to visualize and understand what people who would smash mice are thinking. Empathising with people who don't exist is not insane, it's a signal that you need to start writing stories, songs, or painting pictures if you're not already. You mention that you're getting used to it, so you'll be fine. Just if you find your thoughts wandering while you're actually holding a mouse, please just put the mouse down and walk away.
i have had trips like what you describe - awful and horrible things. i think it is just something you need to explore or go through. maybe there are some things you need to change. ie- loose the porn! i myself have enjoyed watching that stuff but always felt unfulfilled and somewhat guilty. nothing better then a good woman(in person). i understand how hard that can be when single and most guys resort to porn. none the less - it would be better for you to masturbate in the shower or something, or let it build up till you cant handle it anymore and go out and find some quick lay but of course that is not very good for you either. also- it is probably not a good idea to masturbate to porn if you have a girlfriend, you would be better off waiting for her.(most girls are not too fond of guys who like porn better then they like them.) i have been there done that... in my experience - ALL my nightmare visions or trips were something i needed to go through in order to become a better person- there was something i had to change about myself. having said all that - those types of visions are nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of as they will pass if you want them to. we all have a dark side and it is not all bad to explore it in your mind. as long as you dont go out chopping people up you will be fine. just ask yourself what you need to do to avoid any such experience in the future and you will be fine. you will know what to do.
if you have never had a trip like his how do you know that he is fucked up? for all you know - the lsd might be exactly what he needs to "get his mind under control"... lsd has been used to treat mental illness with great success many times...(and i wouldnt say that his problem is even a mental illness) - only a paranoid outlook like yours would cause any problems. in other words - lsd will only cause him problems if he fears that it will - if he believes that he will transcend these visions then he will.
