that I hate giving blow jobs? I feel like an ass when I'm doing it and I hate having him watching me. It's like added pressure. I think he knows this too. He says it's okay when I refuse and that it's my choice and all but I always feel like he's a little ticked off. It's like our main "issue", if any. Got any suggestions/tips to get over this? I really do love him, and want to please him.
close your eyes & dont think about him watching you, i think you have anxiety over your performance more then a distate for the act itself (am i correct in this assumption?) use your ears not your eyes to tell you how your doing.. if it is the act itself & not just feeling self conseise with him watchng then more info on exactly what u find unapealling might be useful
I think you might be right. When it's seeming to take a long time, I think I start to lose faith in myself. It just feels like a chore if anything. Jaw starts to burn and such. I think I make it out to be more of an important issue than he thinks it is. Am I right when I say this? Is head really important or am I just building it up because of what society and the movies have told me?
well thats entirely dependent on his views for some idiots its a deal breaker for others its a nice treat if your not confy with it say so, find out how important it is to him. however, if its mostly the time, & feeling like a chore thats a problem, get him almost to cumming 1st, & use both your hand & mouth, if making alittle effort isnt bad as long as its not 20 minutes all for him without you getting any enjoymenjt then use a lil oral now & then to increase excitement but not be the whole of the experience does that make sence? its 5 30 am & i should be asleep so might not be very clear in what im trying to say..lol if u still have questions ask me in 4-5 hours after i sleep some
i definately agree with the above statement however i dont think shes saying she doesnt enjoy it entirely only alot of the enjoyments destroyed by it feeling like a chore, taking too long & all the expectations & everything else ruins the experience
You hate doing so, then never do it again. You feel like an ass when doing so? Then dont do it. It will undermine your selfconfidence when feeling as you do. You are very young and i dont think you should be giving blow job to anybody. Wait until you know more,a re more experienced and more selfconfident and that you actually enjoy doing it and want to do so not just to pelase him but to pelase yourself. Unless you enjoy it, htere si no reason for you to do it. Specialy if you are getting pain in the jar and all that! Just drop it. Your bf is also influenced by tv and porn video, tell him that and that he will have to live with the reality of it: blow job feels like a job, and you wont do it anymore. Period. And to answer your question, no it isnt terrible not to like doing it nor to dont want to do it, there si many many people who dont like it and married ones as well, and i dont see why you should think that at 18 and just because porn queen do it so apparently enjoyably while paid for it, you should feel the same way.. It is natural that you dont like to do it, it is part of your evolution and of learning oyur sexuality, and nobody has to tell you what to like and dislike but yourself, and if you dont like it then thats it. And the same for anything and everything else in sexuality. Youa re your own master and apprentice: what you like or dislike is your own choice and nobody else! So dont let yourself be dictated by what you see and hear, thats bs, dont try to pretend being more "cool" or more "liberated" than you really are, just to dont do "wrong" or to be/feel like the others.. Only do what feels right for oyu, and nothing more. You like it, you do it, you dont like it, dont do it. In fact a simple key to rememebr is that what ever comes to you naturally is alright, what ever feel forced or forced on you, is wrong. Thats a guide line that should serve you for a very long time. Good luck with that, and dont feel inferior nor pressed to do anything you dont like to do.
Thank you guys, your words are very encouraging. : ). Yeah, I think me and him really do need to have like a specific talk about this instead of how it's been going of me refusing and then there being an awkward silence. I've always been kind of embarassed to really talk to him about it but really, if there's anyone who's open and understanding, it's him. He's told me himself that he's not in this for the sex, he's in it for me. If anything, only good can come from this really.
if you want to do it, then you need to talk to him about not watching you. hell, you could make a kinky night out o fit, by blindfolding him. never feel you need to do oral until he cums. mypartner and i often do fellatio as part of our teasing/foreplay (then again, i love it) if you want ot learn how there are some good tutorials out there. look up fellatio instead of head. a good one i read a while back is here: http://www.clitical.com/sex-tutorials/oral-sex/fellatio.php if you dont want to do head, then tell him that. but if he ends up not wanting to go down on you, well, if he doesnt like doing oral on you and doesnt want to, you get to live with that as well (oh, and unlike one of hte posters, i dont think that 18 is "too young" to be exploring oral sex with a steady boyfriend, but thats just me)
Hahaha, we did the whole blindfold thing the other night unintentionally because I was having a headache and had an ice pack on my eyes. That is a really good tip though, I can't wait to try that out on him. I think that's another one of the reasons I feel bad because he loves to go down on me and I don't think it's because he expects something in return but it'd be nice to want to return the favor sometimes. I'm going to check out that site. One of the main problems is I can't breathe through my nose and suck at the same time. I'm always left like gasping for air and it makes me exhausted.
you dont always have to be sucking. i typically do very little sucking, or just a light suction nothing really strong. its all about wet and movement. lots of saliva, rubbing your tongue against him, lips up and down his shaft... yeah. i typically end up pulling my lips in a little bit to cover my teeth because we can both get a little into it and i dont want to scrape him. dont froget to use your hand too! not too tight, make sure you get lots of saliva on it too (lick up and down his shaft before puttin gyour hand on him) and use that to keep yourself from going too deep and triggering yoru gag reflex...
