Sex is NOT an act of love!

I've recently realised that only foreplay is truly an act of love where sex is concerned. Maybe I'm alone in my thinking here, but penetration doesn't feel very loving..

Ok, so we all love the build up to penetrative sex.. But all that banging! Up to that moment, what we're doing is aimed at pleasing and enjoying each other. During the last few minutes, do we kiss our loved ones? Do we whisper our loving thoughts in their ears?


I've written quite alot on the forums about how rare I actually partake in these final, and some think necessary, last moments, but I finally understand why I avoid it almost at all costs!

Any thoughts people?

 

Depends on who you're doing it with.

 

I wish to present the view of tantra with respect to love making.

When you are having sex just for the sake of your individual selfish pleasure, and not at all for the sake of your lover, then it is called animal sex.

When you are having sex for the sake of your individual pleasure, and for the sake of giving pleasure to your lover too, then it is called humane sex.

When you are having sex for the sake of solely giving pleasure to your lover, in the form of sexual pleasure, and not at all concerned whether you get pleasure in return or not, that is called divine sex, because it has got love all over it.

So hope you guys and gals go for divine sex (or humane sex at least),as it will help you in your spiritual progress, especially divine sex, and helps you to intensify your relationship with your lover, and gain spiritual pleasure and ecstacy from the relationship.

 

We become selfish..


Suddenly, it's about how much the proverbial I enjoy it.

I'm not saying we stop loving the person we're having sex with, just that after hours of seducing, exploring and foreplay, we're reduced to thinking about our own sensations..

 

The only time i have sex is with someone I am in love with....so...with me...its ALL about the love.

 

Wow, I love that concept!

Much better than the teachings of the Karma Sutra, which is still about gratification and titillation..

Thank you niranjan

 

Thanks a lot. Kamasutra is just about techniques to enhance pleasure from the relationship.

You can use the kamasutra techniques to give pleasure to your lover in the 'divine sex ' manner. After all , variety is the spice of life.

 

Love brings us together.. Love makes us WANT each other.. Love makes us WANT to love the physical part of the other..

But orgasm.. is blind..

 

The pleasure from sex is momentary, but the pleasure from love is everlasting.

Love never dies....

 

who said anything about orgasm ?

 

Orgasm, in spiritual terms, is when every cell in your body is completely living in the present moment. That is where all the physical joy comes. In a way, orgasm is a bit like zen. However it again, is momentary.

In divine lovemaking, you are in the present moment. It is very beautiful and ecstatic . The pleasure is not in your body, but in your heart and soul, and it seems to be all pervading in your consciousness and the world as well, even after the lovemaking is over...

 

Everybody seems to think orgasm and climax MUST be the conclusion to lovemaking..

Yet so often the "loving" part can last another few hours, and it shouldn't be such a big deal if orgasm isn't sought.

 

I'm trying to avoid being so blunt as to say that sex dilutes love..

Because I know it doesn't.. I think it's just an ANTI-climax after sharing so much love that we can become consumed by our own desires without still being aware of the lover we've just become one with..

I know that there are those that feel the exctasy of "melding" into their partners, and there are "times" when we ALL feel exctasy for the RIGHT reasons. But is it love that drives us to climax? Or is it desire?

 

Im not everybody and I NEVER said that

 

Ok, modern western culture and society forces it upon us then..

 

I can be with the person i am with right now and never even make love to her...but love her forever.....without sex

 

I guess what I do is considered "divine sex" -- I actually hate to be touched and feel extremely uncomfortable when a lover tries to touch or please me.
(Maybe because I feel they are still just having animal sex and that they are only trying to make me orgasm so THEY can orgasm better, and that I know men hate to please women.)

Either way, it doesn't FEEL very divine. I feel completely useless and unappreciated afterward, no matter how much I like or love the person, and usually end up curling into a ball and waiting for them to fall asleep so I can cry.

If I ever met someone I really loved, I would not want to have sex, because I would not want them to start seeing me either as a device for their own pleasure or some insane inconvenience that they are obligated to pleasure.
So I can summarize all of that by saying: I agree, it's not an act of love at all.

 

Sex is always about Love for me. Penetration, foreplay, the whole thing is one magnificent love-making experience...

I know many others feel this way, too

 

And there are lovers who make love or have sex only for the sake of satisfying their beloved , and nothing else.

And there are lovers, who when their beloved is perfectly satisfied physically and emotionally, ceases to have sex and just snuggles with their beloved , without caring for their ejaculation or orgasm. They made love to their beloved only for the sake of giving pleasure,joy and happiness to her, and when this has been accomplished, they cease to have sex, just like that. Only a person who is a master of himself can do this. And I believe this is the peak of manhood.

Their pleasure lies only in their beloveds happiness and joy and satisfaction, and nothing else.

As I said before , the pleasure and ecstacy of love, is greater than the pleasure of sex.

When you have tasted nectar, you do not care for gutter water anymore.

Its as simple as that.

 

Well said. You have taken the words out of my mouth and put it across more eloquently and beautifully.