Can't do anal.

I am too tight.

We tried -- it hurt, even with lube, as I knew it would, but I am used to pain (I've had a LOT worse) and figured I would just push through it. But he literally would not go in, as hard as we tried. I was a little afraid to completely push the issue, and when it seemed like it would actually FORCE in, I screamed and he stopped out of awkwardness.

I know this is something he really wants, and I have wanted to try it too. But it just doesn't seem to work. Are some people just incapable of doing anal without causing serious problems? If I want to do this, should I just deal with the pain? (He has an average dick and probably can't cause that much damage.)

 

maybe hes to big? Get some small toys, there are sets with 3 butt plugs et c.

expand you anus, do it step by step untill its a little looser.

 

He's ... um ... kinda small.

I'm worried about "expanding my anus" - I want to keep my body as normal as possible, thank you! don't want to stretch anything except my earlobes -- and can't exactly afford butt plugs anyway.

Is there a way to just get it done on the spot?

 

alcohol, you get drunk and you can take more pain.

 

It shouldn't hurt that bad. You just have to be nice a relaxed. Start with a little play don't rush into it.

 

you -HAVE- to ease into it. start with his finger, then fingers... ie one finger, two fingers, maybe three fingers then contemplate having his penis inside if you. you CANNOT go from nothing at all to a penis when you are new to anal sex, ifyoure like most of the worlds population it will simply hurt way too bad and possibly cause you actual damage

 

Just relax, relax, relax. Maybe start with a finger and lube. Work up to it, it shouldn't be painful, maybe uncomfortable to start, but not painful. Do not push through the pain if it does in fact really hurt. If you do it right you should be able to take something large up there and still go back to being really tight afterwards, all you are doing is stretching a muscle.

 

My girlfriend and I had the same problem ... we start off with foreplay, start off slowly, and really lube up. We both really enjoy it now.

Hope it gets better for you!

 

Like they said, first you gotta relax and you gotta start small.


If you don't have any toys available, fingers are just as good or even better. Have him rub the lube with his fingers and massage ur anus up an down, then in circles.

Eventually have him finger you with his pinky finger, and just keep using fingers till there is no more resistance. Eventually you'll be ready to take a dick with no pain.
Member that you don't have to be a masoquist to do anal. It should not be painfull at all.

 

He has a problem with foreplay -- I sometimes think our bodies make him uncomfortable, so I try my best to just "get right down to it."

And what do you mean, it's not supposed to be painful?! How can you shove something up your asshole and NOT have it hurt?

PS: The time I tried drunken anal, I bled for three days and could barely walk for four -- and he just barely got it in there. He was an extremely endowed individual, but still. Drunk sex now makes me tenser, not the opposite

 

girl...you gotta get you a new man!

 

Ma'am, it's an exit not an entrance.

Listen to your body.

If you want to play or be played with, that your decision. Gradualy increasing the diameter of your toys sounds like a plan. But when it starts hurting is a good time to say "stop". Listen to your body.

Listen to your body. There is an old saying (no longer PC) "Anal sex is why proctologists' wives' wear mink coats."

 

Cause you shouldn't shove things up there. IT should be a gradual thing at first.

Also good foreplay makes better sex. IT allows your body to be ready for whats coming.

 

Haha! I must say, I used to be scared of the idea, but then again I was also afraid of oral for a while, and I've found that nothing sexual is the end of the world ... even if it hurts and I don't like it, it's not a big deal.

This is the one thing I haven't really tried (that time with the large guy was not exactly on purpose so it does not count), and I kinda feel self-obligated. I think it would be fun. It's a taboo for a lot of people and I am good at breaking those
Plus, I am tough, I am even a little masochistic, and I think it shouldn't be THAT bad ...

 

It's really not about experiencing pain. Using toys to stretch is just to help your body get used to accomodating objects in there. Even is your asshole becomes able to stretch, it won't lose its tightness when something isn't in it ie it will still function normally.

If you take time to work up to a penis size, anal will become more about feeling contact with the right nerves and feeling relaxed when your body tries to tense with pleasure. I think you have gotten the wrong idea from all the taboos you are trying to defy. And if you take a look in these forums more and prepare yourself properly, you may find that anal feels good to you while your guy gets pleasure from it.

 

That would be like cheating on a test, wouldn't it?

I did read through all the forums about preparation, but they involve ass beads and toys I can't afford, and foreplay that my partner and I do not have the time or desire to do.

It's not supposed to feel good, is it? It's not supposed to hurt so bad that I can't do it, but it's not supposed to feel good, because that would be selfish of me.
I partially want to do it to prove that I'm not selfish, and THAT will give me pleasure. Just as long as I am not bleeding and too sore to bike home afterward or go to the bathroom for a few days, it will give me a big grin.

I only said that to be ironic and self-aware, and to point out to people that I'm not too tight because I am a prude.

 

It is supposed to feel good. That is the point of doing it.

 

I've done anal on a bunch of first timers and it hasn't been painfull for any of them. It was painful for you because the technique you guys were using was different.

I think that what she is trying to say is that anal sex is pleasurable for her at a psycological level even though it hurts physically.
This is because she enjoys pleasuring her man and breaking taboo's. Plus the fact that she admitted to be a lil bit of a masoquist .

Suncatch22, just remember there are ways to do anal sex withouth physical damage like the one u suffered before and yes, it can be pleasurable for you as well. That does not mean you are selfish, just that you have nerves all over your body.

 

if your partner is no twilling to sink in the time for foreplay/to get you prepared for anal sex then he has no right to try and do it to you. anal sex without foreplay or preparation is going to hurt, it is not going to be all that pleasureable save for those who have done anal many times before and are accustomed to it and have been able to reduce the amount of foreplay they require to get ready for it. Tell him to go shove a giant dildo up his ass without being turned on sufficiently, without stretching his asshole and without using enough lube and see if maybe hes willing to sink a little more time into foreplay

basically.. if he is not comfortable enuogh with spending time on your body to get you ready for anal sex, he doesnt get to engage in it with you. but thats just my opinion

 

I agree with you, Allonym, but it's harder to put into practice.
I know he likes me, and I know that I made mistakes that hurt him. So I let him do whatever he wants in an attempt to make up for it.

Seriously ... are y'all SURE it's not supposed to hurt?!