Would you date one? The fellow I might be interested in, unfortunately happens to be the good friend of one of my exes. We sort of stayed friends for a while but now I am not sure I ever want to speak to or see him again. The other guy agrees with me about my grievances (which I actually did not voice -- he voiced them and beat me to it), but has more patience and forgiveness of course, and I naturally respect that, would never be an idiot and say "you can't be friends" or try to manipulate them apart. But it would be damn hard to try to share time and not hear anything about my ex. Should I just stomach it and deal, or steer clear altogether?
completely depends on your relationship with the ex. if you two are amicable, ask him if hed mind and go for it. if you two hate each other, best to steer clear i think
I just dont understand how you people can be freinds with your ex... I really dont get it... I cant do that. I move on, instantly.. otherwise emotionally i would be stuck...
He and I were really close. I invested a lot in him emotionally, which is why it especially hurts now that I realize he has no loyalty to anyone or anything, not even his word. I know he would not care if I became involved with his friend, but I think it might be awkward and unfair, which is unfair in itself because, damn it, here was finally a chance to meet someone nice ... !
Just go for it, the guy was an asshole to you, so why do you care at all about migth hurt his feelings when he wont get hurt at all anyway? just do as you please, think about you, your own hapyness and forget about the jerk who betreated you for another one and failed his word and all he had said to his friends. Now, your time has come.
Can I be completely selfishly blunt? I care more about what it will do to ME. I don't give a damn about my ex Especially because, like I said, he won't care -- he would probably be happy for me. But then there would be an unspoken competition for the poor nice guy's time, since my ex and I would not want to be together in the same place at the same time, and I could not in good faith put a nice person through that
nah, what to say matters just as much. they need to know the exact bullshit to tell everyone and what actions or lies are too impossible to cover
Ask who first? My ex or the nice guy? Trust me, I would definitely ask the nice guy before we got involved ... um ... isn't that how it works?
i personally wouldn't ask any one. they both know the situation, it all comes down to your comfort in the situation. follow your heart
well if your ex doesn't feel weird about the whole situation then go for it and don't let anyone stop you.i was kind of in the same situation.except i'm the good friend.my boyfriend dated a good friend of mine(2 actually but im not friends with the other anymore) before me.she cool with the whole thing yet again she's one of my next friends and he's like a brother to her. just do it.you might feel weird at first about the whole thing but you'll eventually get over it and not give a damn.
Good point. I had a kinda bad situation with another of this ex's friends (it's a big city, but it seems like he and I are both friends with almost everyone worth knowing ... he's a social rabbit, just spawning like mad) -- we were all okay with it, until the guy I was with and his friends started telling me all about my ex's stupid exploits involving his new girlfriend, how she was pushing him for marriage and he was conforming to society in order to please her, how even though the new girl was prettier than me that they liked me better, how they thought my ex actually loved ME and was just repressing it. Got to the point that I could not even hang out with them without feeling intense pain, guilt, and shame. Don't want to do that again. Oh, and now my ex is blaming ME for the fact that his friends have seen through his pretension and idiocy surrounding the new girl. He assumes that I must be spreading rumors, although I am keeping my mouth shut and they are simply seeing the truth with their own eyes.
