I am all against cheating. I think it's disrespectful & unforgivable. I have never cheated on any of my gf's before and I would never forgive some1 who cheated on me. Here is the thing though, a good friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in like 2 years found me on myspace. We started talking, catching up on things and then we decided to hang out. We got some starbucks and then she started kissing me and we ended up hooking up. I am single and that would not be a problem at all except for the fact that she has a baby... and a boyfriend. She tells me that her relationship with her bf is in pretty bad conditions. She says that she does not regret having a baby but she regrets having it with him. She even told me that they rarely even have sex anymore and when they do, she does it more as an obligation rather than for actual pleasure. She tells me the only reason why she is still with him is because it's her baby's daddy and she's afraid of raising a kid by herself or... whatever. Sounds pretty ghetto I know. This whole matter has been sweet and sour for me. On 1 side, am a guy and some guys like to get laid haha, but on the other side I feel fucked up for her bf. I believe that you should not do to others what you wouldn't want some1 to do to you... but it's just so dammed hard to refuse when the girl is practically begging for it. If you're a guy, u know refusing a hot girl to have sex with you it's as easy as refusing to take a piss for 3 days. What can I say? Most guys have a hard time saying no to sex. Anyways, I am thinking about not going to see her anymore. I think she is starting to catch feelings for me. Every time I see her she tells me that she feels really good when she's with me, she tells me she feels secure around me and that I can always make her laugh. The sex is really good, I introduced her to anal sex which she absolutely loves, but now am beginning to wonder if she does it because of the physical pleasure or because she believes that it is the only thing that will keep me close to her. This is an absolutely wrong statement. We were good friends before we started having sex and if that part got taken away it would be the same. Am a pretty open minded person and if she told me she wanted to be my friend only I would be OK with it. Even when we started having sex I was completely honest with her. I told her that I had not any feelings for her except for a physical attraction and she was OK with it. I told her I would never tell her "I love you" unless I really meant it and I haven't because I don't love her. I am a horny 19y/o, there is no doubt about that, but I also have feelings and I rly don't wanna hurt her. I like getting laid, but not if she's getting the wrong idea. Not only that, I think her bf hits her. I've asked her about it and she always denies it. Last 3 times I've seen her she had a different bruise on a different part of her body. What really makes me suspicious is that she gets rly nervous and defensive whenever I ask her about it. I saw her today a little earlier and when I took off her pants she had a big ass bruise close to her knee. She said it was an accident from work. It started out as a simple "friends with benefits" type of relationship. Now it became so much more complex. I love getting laid, but I don't like feeling sry 4 her bf. Part of me wants to help her but I just don't know if I can get her outta the situation that she's in by doing what I did a little earlier. Should I stop seeing her...? Should I approach her some other way..? I am all about communication, but I can't just "talk" to her about it because she won't admit to anything. My guess is that she likes having whatever she thinks we have right now, and she doesn't wanna do anything to change it. WTF should I do?
but you are justifying being part of a cheater's triangle. you either agree with cheating or you don't. You are helping her cheat. You KNOW the right answer. move along, nothing to see here.
She is vulnerable and you are exploiting her. She is desperate for someone to help make her feel less miserable, and you are using her body. Regardless of how this impacts her boyfriend (he sounds like a douche and deserves to be cheated on if he is really an abusive prick), it will impact HER, not necessarily because she will fall in love with you or whatnot, but because she deserves someone who will love her.
That is way too harsh. I would be using her if I had promised her love or something else... but I told her since the beginning straight up how it was going to be. As a matter of fact, i didn't know she was still with her bf till the second time I saw her so if anything we are using each other. It's not like she came to me miserable and desperate in need of love and I got in her pants with lies. You're exaggerating big time. For every1 else, yeah I think am gonna tell her we're not gonna have sex anymore and that we should just go back to being good friends like before.
I think you're right to quit having sex with her. If her boyfriend is hitting her now, what do you think he might do to her if he finds out she's been cheating on him with you?
If he hits her and she is with him only she wants father for her baby, she must be incredible stupid. Why would anyone stay in imaginarry family when there is no love, and violence. I think that she is the one that is playing with you and not telling you the truth. It seems that she is using your body, and having lots of fun, while you think that she is beeing mistreated and feeling sorry for her. Get out of it. It can only bring trouble and mixed fillings, nothing good.
you have been very honest with her up to this point and that is commendable, and if she knowing how you feel continues to want to fuck you than that is totally on her.i think in the long run you will start getting feeling for her and it might be harder for you to let go of something that you may never get. seeing as she said she doesn't want to leave the baby's daddy, which is a whole other sad issue in and of itself. she seems very needy and problematic i personally wouldn't want to get invovled with all the drama. what you should do is consider being a great freind and get her help from the supposed abusive bf and maybe help her esteem issues.another sorted realtionship is the last thing she needs at this point.
Wow, this really hits home for me. Just the kind of discussion I was looking for. I have recently been involved with someone, not to the point of having sex, but have done everything but the actual act - and I'm married. Don't be quick to judge here. I have been very happy with the him for a long time and about 7 months ago he just stopped the physical part. I've tried for weeks to try to get him to talk to me and work this out but he won't. I really don't think he's having an affair. About 4 weeks ago a co-worker, that I've been friends with for 4 years, and he is single started kissing (my advance). Many times we said we wouldn't cross certain lines, but we have. All but actual sex. A few days ago he tells me he can't do this anymore because of my marital situation. So I'm really confused on how he was OK with it all until a few days ago and it sounds like your in the same place. Why do you wish to stop something you enjoy so much? As long as you both know what the expectations are and are both honest with each other. What is it that makes you want to stop? I've told 'the other man' many times that I totally enjoy what we do and how good it feels, should I not do that? I never led him to think I'd leave my marriage for him. It's just about feeling good and having certain needs met. I know this doesn't help YOU alot, but if you could help me understand from the guy's point of view, that would be great! There are quite a few years difference in age, but the way you describe your situation sounds mature for a 19 year old.
Yeah, yeah, it feels good, it's nice... But what about responcibility, other peoples feelings, comitment, beeng honest...?
other people's feelings? she is cheating on her baby's daddy, he is not cheating on anyone and he has beenup front with the girl and she is full aware that he doesn't want anything but sex from her.
Ok, let me put it this way: i hate when people are living a lie, cheating, using other people, fooling themselfs and others, risquing other people lives and future, helping others to do the same thing.... and all thay can say is "why not, it brings me pleasure".
There is a bunch of reasons why I think I should stop seeing her. As I stated before, I don't think you should do to people what you wouldn't want some1 else to do to you. Honestly I didn't follow that in this situation because the girl told me the status of the relationship with her bf. This guy is a piece of shit, he got her pregnant when she was just 15y/o and this foo is like 22 I think. He made her drop outta school, she had to learn how to be a housewive in a a matter of weeks (cleaning, cooking, the whole 9 yards), he drinks, he treats her like crap, plus the fact that I suspect that he hits her. This is all stuff the girl told me so I haven't been able to prove if it's legit... Which is good because if I find out this motherfucker hits her, am gonna beat his motherfuckin' ass so bad, he's never gonna be able to hit a woman... or anything at all. Another reason why I want to stop seeing her is because I think she is starting to fall in love with me. I've always been up front with her and told her that the only thing holding our "relationship" together is physical attraction. I don't want her to get false ideas that it'll go further than that cus I know it won't. Even if the guy is a piece of shit... deep inside I feel like if I keep doing it, some1 is going to do it to me in the future. Karma's a bitch. Physical pleasure was all I needed in the beginning... but there is a point where it's just not worth it anymore. Physical pain comes and goes, but emotinonal pain takes a long time to wear off... if it ever does. If everything this girl is saying it's true, then I think she already suffered enough.
My little head wants to but my bigger head stops me. I haven't talked to her so nothing has changed on her mind, just in mine. Am sure I'll get a txt from her 2morrow & idk how am going to react...
