Deathly Disease You’re a dangerous Disease, Deceitfully, destroying, My silky shell, Savagely, suffocating, My lightly ---lit--- lungs. You’re a mediocre Monster, Sinfully, searing, My fresh, flesh, With your wretched words, Of watered-down wisdom Wishfully wanting, Your viscous victory. You’re a carbonated Cigarette, Painfully, poisoning, My lemon lips, leniently, lusting, For one simple blow. You’re a blistered Bomb, Beautifully, burning, My hollow heart, Frantically, freeing, My sugarless soul, From the dangerous disease The mediocre monster, The carbonated cigarette, And the Blistered bomb.
yeah its good - is this you then? http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3608616/1/ yeah its absolutely great and should get you some recognition keep up the good work! I can tell you have read Deborah Levy's work
If you havent read Deborah Levy I suggest you do - she is really not that far above your standard but with about 30 years more experience so I think theres a lot of hope for your writing career
