wow. my whole life i've wanted a deep, mind boggling, soul touching emotional sexual mate. I've looked, not found and married. I've been married for 17 years. I"ve not slept with my husband for 5 years. I don't know if i'm pretty or not, I am slender, athletic and seem to get alot of attention. I alwasy dress very modestly, but always am well groomed. I am 46 and usually happy and caring. I have long dark hair to my waist and big brown eyes. I went on vacation by myself. I met a man on the elevator. I could tell he was interested immediately. We made small talk and he got off. I ran into him before i left for dinner and then ran into him again after dinner. I don't drink, but I had one that night and we sat and talked and talked. He asked me to dance and we had a blast, people even clapped. we sat and talked some more he was married and having problems. I said i was tired and he offered to walk me to my door. we got to my door I unlocked it and turned to say good bye. he started to walk away and i grabbed him and kissed him. I wanted to see what it was like(big mistake, huge mistake). I told him that and tried to say by again and he kissed me again and carried me to the bed. Sigh. We kissed like long lost lovers and did everything BUT no sex. I told him no way. He smiled and came back for more. Even with no sex he satisfied me in a way i've only ever dreamt of. It was so deep and real and he kept hugging me so close and asking me if i was ok, over and over. i've never felt so relaxed in my life. I never relax! We just laid in each others arms like pretzels and talked and laughed and shared everything. I told him the complete truth about myself and I know he did too. i trusted him immediately. We slept intertwined all night. morning came and he kissed me goodbye and called me beautful and left. We made plans to see each other, but no times were set. The tears came as the door shut, the way they've been flowing ever since. I was already in too deep. I had plans that day, so that evening, I saw him again. The night repeated itself. Again no sex, just such tenderness as i've never known. The next day again we spent the day sightseeing. He said he had work to do and i started to feel as if he wanted some space. I started to feel anxious about leaving the next day. we went to his room and again explored each other. In the middle of a passionate moment i blurted out "I love you". sheesh. I know, I'm a MOron. We were on our way out the door and I turned and stopped. I told him I was freaking out. he tried to make jokes and then told me he wasn't going to tell me he loved me and he wasn't going to leave his wife and that this had bee a wonderful time. I told him i knew all this and got teary. He was sweet and all, then he asked me if it would be easier to say goodby now. I nodded. We said goodby and i went to my room. yes, i cried myself silly. Two hours later I ran into him outside. He said he wished we could have a way of getting in contact if our marriages didn't work out. I told him i didn't want to know how to get in touch with him, because i would. We ended up in his room till midnight, just talking and he covered me up with a blanket on the couch and laid his head on my chest. we just held each other and of course he kept handing me kleenex. I left the next day. Life at home is unbearable. I hate myself and everything around me. I told my husband i want to leave. I called loverboy at the hotel everyday. I felt awkward and felt he was cutting me short. He called me to tell me nothing was wrong and we talked. I called him for two more days till he left. He asked for my cell number and told me to have it with me the next day he would call. He never called. Today is 7 days since we spoke. I know he went home and is trying to save his marriage and do the right thing. meanwhile I can't eat, sleep or think straight. I cry alot and have decided that 7 days without a phone call is more than a hint and that I don't want someone who isn't as passionate about me as i am them. I refuse to chase. I couldn't anyway i have no way of reaching him. I just was certain that he would call. I knew he would. I guess i want a male perspective. I refuse to play games and pretend I don't have feelings or care. I don't care if it makes me seem desperate. I figure if the other person runs, then he doesn't have the intensity i need. Hence, the broken hearts. Except this one really really hurt. My body is betraying me. I know time will heal. I wanna throw up. For three days I had what I've longed for my whole life. I feel like a loser when all i wan is deep love. I feel like i won't ever find it. I can't even go to church. What do you think he is thinking? If he does call, should i refuse to talk to him? Am I insane?
it sounds like he isnt interested, or like maybe some emergency has come up at home. i wouldnt wait on him, to be honest i think you should go to church though, if its somethign important to you.... a lot of churhces have that whole confession/repentance thing that might offer you some solace, or at least you could talk to your minister about the situation
I agree with Allonym. Go to church. Get some counselling. You need to talk this out with someone. If you don't want to talk it out with someone in your church, then go to a psychologist. I feel you're at a crossroads in your life, and you need some guidance to decide how to proceed. I am so, so sorry you are hurting so badly. You're not insane, just hurting from pent-up emotions finally rising to the surface. It must be hard to not have had any bond with your husband for so long.
I am not sure I have any advice... but that was a fascinating story. I can FEEL your anxiety just reading it. I hope it all works out. Remember... if you were able to somehow end up with this person... it might not be the same as it was when you were both alone and away from normal daily life. Its like that time existed in a bubble that has floated away.
he may feel guilty in the presence of his wife, so he's pushing you out of his mind so he can function around her. He did tell you he didn't want to leave her, so maybe he is working on their marriage right now, which you would not be any help in that department. Or he could be a lying sack of shit that pulls this shit every the misses is away. It has been my experience the smoothests men (the ones that do the right things at the right time, that are actually good in the romance department) learn to be that way to get what they want. Like a camellion, they change their colors and can adapt to different situations, or different women. You just may of been a treat to him as painful as that sounds. What you need to do is leave the husband and celebrate your feminity. Forget about finding Mr. Right and find your Mr. Right now. Learn the couarge to take charge of your sexuality and empower yourself so deeply that any man would be a fool not to take notice of such a powerful woman, so in touch with herself. Right now your with someone who is not encouraging your growth, because all your doing is looking backwards. Find yourself, and move foreward. Of couse these words often can't be heard in times of pain. Take the time you need, but you need to make differences in your life, with #1 being the husband.
my mother is 60 and she just recently went through the same thing except neither of them were married and they did have sex.nevertheless she had the same feelings as you and she was very vulnerable and on top of that she hadn'e had sex in 22 years!!!!well she let her guard down and yes the phone calls stopped coming for her too...she was devastated but time has healed her wounds and she is stronger than ever.i think you should accept it for what it was... a great few moments of tenderness.i definatley would'nt wait for him and one thing i would do is divorce your husband....after 5 years of no intimacy it makes you wonder if there is even love there, icouldn't live like that and no one should have to.
Maybe he decided he didn't want a cheating slut. Or and this would be my guess he can't do much around his wife and a mitress that doesn't put out isn't all that appealing. You should feel like shit. You have every right to leave your marriage and pursue happiness but you have no right to cheat. Start thinking back to vows you made.
unbelievable, i'm sure good things are to come your way..it must be hard being perfect......a perfect ass hole
Hello, I'm back. Yes, he called. Late one night a week ago. I couldn't talk, so I had to hang up. Since then...well, I'm sure I've lost my mind. Tell me, how can you go insane over someone you spent three days with? That's not normal is it? Can you actually fall in love with someone that quickly? Thing of it is, he fit my needs perfectly. Images are seared upon my brain. Little ones...of him...nuturing me. I have reverted to behaviour of my teen years. I am not a needy person. I'm the strong one, I scoff at weak people. Now, I am raging inside, dying to explode. I fill my days as best I can, and excersize to exhaustion. Then lay away all night. I KNOW the best thing is for him NOT to call me. I rehearse what I would say if he called, telling him to never call again. But my body screams for just one touch. I have tried reaching out to my husband. not good. I'm leaving. I have even tried flirting with a guy that i know really likes me. Nothing. zero. ziltch. My self-esteem seems to be tied up in this. All of a sudden I'm doubting everything I do. It's like this man is the only thing in this world that exsists. I even know that it probably wouldn't work. This is totally ridiculous. I don't really know how he is feeling at this point. But I can safely assume that he doesn't have these stupid feelings like I do. Am I obsessed? am I in love? I hate this. Also the fact that I let him know how I felt before we parted, probably scared him away. ya think? feedback please.
No sex with your husband for five years = no wonder you are sexually frustrated. But there are two marriages here, and you are having an infatuation with this new man - you don't really know him. Treat it as that -- a bridge to the future which may result in you leaving your husband. Are there children involved? This would be important in your decision. You might just carry on an affair with this guy for a few years, to see if there is a future in this relationship. Do you live near or far from each other? My wife of many years died four years ago, and our sex life was not good the last few years. So I made a decision to resume my sex life a decent time after she was laid to rest, and I met a beautiful woman who gave me a passionate beginning to my new life. We dated for eight months, broke up, and soon after that I began a new relationship with my current girlfriend, whom I have been living with much of the time for over two years. We are good for each other, and our relationship is thriving. No plans for marriage - no need. You can find a similar relationship - you deserve it. PM me if you want to discuss your journey more privately.
I have to support two notions I've read here: First, this is just an infatuation, you haven't known him long enough or deep enough to get caught up in this like you unfortuantely have. I hope you can find the path to understanding this. Second, you do have the right to have these feelings, but as long as you are married to your current husband you are not going to be able to follow them up, and you shouldn't cheat on him, give some respect to your committment while you are in it. If however, you decide you want something else, then leave your husband and don't look back, then you can follow up with your new found feelings and "friends".
you are right of course. My mind knows this. I only hope time will erase these memories quickly. To anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation...I had no intentions...I was "harmlessly" flirting....I thought it would be fun to steal a kiss.... DON"T do it! I will wreck you emotionally, you will pay! trust me, this is not fun. I was better off asleep? well, maybe not, we'll never know. At some point my true nature would surface and desire would overwhelm? I was almost a sex addict in my younger years, and I married someone who has never given me more that a peck, never a deep kiss? didn't like to hug...says I suffocated him. always pushed me away. Until, I gave up and shut that part of myself off. Ever see the movie Moonstruck? Settling into a wrong marriage is a dangerous thing.
Don't let anyone get to you too much. Five years without that closeness is enough to make anyone frustrated and longing. And you didn't even sleep with this guy. You showed control and what I see as compassion. You need to, however, leave your husband OR truly work on the problems there and fix them. I wish you all the luck in the world with that.... I'm young but I've been through similar things so I know how hard it is.
