Hey guys, I'm fairly new to rolling, having only done it 3 times, but there is one problems I've noticed when I do. Occasionally, while I'm rolling, I will get a spurt of intense depression. The best way to describe it would be like enjoying a sunny day, and suddenly the sky grows dark and overcast, only to have the sun return again. It feels like this can be caused by seemingly nothing. The last time I rolled, which was at an infected mushroom concert (one of the best nights of my life by the way) it happened 2 or 3 times. The first occasion happened when I saw a girl that I had gone to gradeschool with, but hadn't talked to in years. We were having a great conversation when she said that she was going to go and dance. She wasn't blowing me off by any means, but for some reason when I was walking back to my group of friends it felt like my life had lost all meaning. Like the most intense feeling of homesickness ever, I was questioning why I was even at the concert. The feeling only lasted for a minute and before I knew it I was back to normal enjoying the best show I've been to, but it did happen again later that night. I was just wondering if this sort of thing happens to anybody else, and if so, do you guys know what causes it? Thanks!
Overrall I believe this could have a few possible reasons. I'll just throw out these: 1. Unintentional introspective thought / regurgitation of memories and/or feelings (which may also translate into somatic sensations) induced by an outside stimuli. 2. You are mentally unstable and overloading your seratonin has a chance of triggering this condition that has always been there.
I've heard of this happening to some people when they mix E and alcohol. A great roll with the odd "blue" period. It's always best to have a clean roll . . . .
mixing X with alcohol always gives me terrible downers, for a whole week i felt strange when i've mixed the two.. terrible things to mix i find.
i know what you mean bro but i wouldnt nescessarily call it intense depression...i jus go from feeling fucking awesome to feeling not as great. its like waves of different emotions...
i think this can happen when your conscious mind is handling neurons that dont have enough serotonin in them to deal with the mdma. like, if you burnt out a neuron, normally your mind follows all the other ones that are boosting out euphoric signals. but if your consciousness wanders through thoughts that are simply empty, you can suddenly find yourself in a relative - ditch. as *psych* suggested, it can simply be a matter of going from awesome to not so awesome, but the feeling of this dip can be associated with the same feeling you would get if you were just feeling normal and then were confronted with a depressing feeling suddenly. that droop inside. its the feeling of teh droop that hits you, thats why you get over it. but unless you were stuck in a bazaar thought loop, you should get over it pretty quick. if it happens often, it can be a sign of something needing attention though
This kind of thing happens to me pretty often, it seems to happen more with the pills that have less/no speed in them, i assume because the speed keeps you up when the X waves down. To me its like a feeling of being completely dejected by anything and everything, a bout of these can almost ruin a roll. I dont believe its caused by a train of thought or anything of that nature, more likely its a product of the brain chemistry going on during a roll, especially since it seems to come in waves for me. So i dont think that theres really anything you can do to prevent it or cause it, it just happens. These little "troughs" help me stay moderate with X because i always imagine that the depression that some people experience as a result of X abuse might be just like them, and with how intensely unpleasant they are i would definitely not be able to live with it on a constant basis.
