for any experienced meditator, a question....I've just started working with mantra's or observing my breath about a month ago and am noticing its affects on my ego recently I haven't had much time to do it and I'm feeling as though my ego is really trying to hold on to me as I catch myself thinking kinda bad thoughts that aren't normal...for example actually fighting a guy that wanted to fight this weekend or other thoughts on this page..... and its weird because they're new...I haven't thought of fighting for years like that... is this normal or BS?
Its not uncommon for meditation etc. to bring about a kind of resurgence of stuff that is accumulated in the psyche. The ego, as Ram Dass said, is not into giving itself up lightly. Also, there is the question of unity of will. Some part of the being wants to meditate, to develop, but another part wants to carry on with the old ego trips. The main thing is to carry on and not to be discouraged.
mmm alright, I was kinda hoping to hear something like that...so I must be doing something right then....thank you
Such things come up now and then, Ive had the same experience. Sometimes a thought comes to me about how easy it would be to just walk up to somebody and slit their throat, just for no reason, or something mindlessly violent like that.... Dont dwell on it. When such things happen, recognise the thought but release it, dont hold on to the thought. Just let it die away. Eventually it just goes away if you dont dwell and hang on to it.
