My girlfriend is a no pre-marital sex kind of girl, I say kind of but I actually mean, we talked about it and she said about her decision of chastity. At the time it really bothered me, because sex has always seemed like something pretty important to me and the idea of marriage as a "sex license" seemed far too oppressive. But I really do love her so I thought about it and in the end I came to the conclusion that sex is insignificant. Due to the nature of these forums, I get the impression that you're all pretty liberal and in my opinion chastity is a largely conservative concept. Would this bother any of you? And how important do you think that sex is in a relationship? Or indeed, at all?
I think that sex is awfully overrated. Most people make the mistake of basing a relationship on sex, and these relationships fall apart quickly. Sex is just a perk in a relationship. A fun perk, but by far not the most important part of it. Plus, if you're actually just 15, then your girlfriend will probably grow out of the whole chastity deal soon. Just make sure to let her do it at her own pace and don't pressure her into anything. It's all about love man.
It really gets on my nerves that so much of society seems to revolve around sex these days, almost to the point where you almost feel pressured into thinking that sex is compulsory or something. Personality osmosis or something like that. The whole fallacy that still possessing your virginity is a bad thing or a good thing must be a large source of damage to relationships and the collective happiness of society. I definitely agree that sex is just a perk, or at least it's something that I realise though, but popular opinion seem to be that it's a necessary progression. Thank you, you've made me feel a whole lot better about my relationship and self in general. I can see that I'm going to like it her. Yay counter-culture
No worries man, just follow your heart. Society has never proven to be right about anything in all of its existence
sex really is tha timportant to some, and not to others i didnt give my virginity til i was a few months shy of 17, and i was a horny horny teenager. youre only 15, shes around the same age im sure so why do you even need to worry about sex now? and if youd ont think its "that important", then why is it important at all that she wants to wait?
You do realize that for the vast majority of human existence, as well as almost the entire animal kingdom, life consisted basically of eating and fucking.
ya, but a relationship at least a human relationship is much more than that. It has to be. If it was all about getting off people would just play with themselves all the time. Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship.
It isn't, but when she first said it (being, on occasion, a horny teenager) it was. But then I came to the conclusion that it wasn't important. I guess I only perceived it to be important at my age because I hear what my friends are doing and that made me think that it was "normal".
sex may not be THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in a relationship but it is important. if my mate wasn't sexual with me than why not just be friends????with physicality comes trust and passion and lust and excitement, if my bf stopped the sex why be my bf????
I didn't mention it's because she's Catholic. I suppose what bothers me is that she's anti contraception too and while I can sympathise quite heavily with the chastity angle, it actually seems sensible, the idea of not using contraception most of the time seems terribly out of date... Do you still think she'll grow out of that? If anything breaks our relationship, I think it'll be our differing religious views (she's a reasonably strict Catholic whereas I'm a very liberal agnostic [heavily biased towards the atheist side of it]). Actually it depresses me, because I really love her but I think we're going to end up having argument after argument about our differing beliefs. I don't even know why she such a staunch Catholic while her sisters seem to be of a more liberal view point. And how do you debate against a belief (we were debating it the other day), like she said she was anti-contraception because that was the word of the church but how can I argue with that? I'd have to try and ruin the credibility of the church to even dent that point and that's no easy feat. EDIT: I was forgetting that sex isn't important. I've got to get that into my head *smacks head against table*. I hate it that I seem to be predisposed to find sex important.
I am catholic. I didn't have sex until I was 20. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to wait. You are both so young and if she's not ready you are just going to loose her if you keep pushing. If you love her just let her be herself.
Ok, I hate to be a troll, I haven't read ANY of this thread but I saw THIS (see screen shot below) when I logged on and thought it was really funny!
sex, in my opinion is not important in a relationship. i think sex is only to be shared with those you love. if you love the one youre with and feel you're ready to share that special thing with that person, then go for it. marriage is not needed in my opinion. it's based on feelings. don't have sex just to please the other person. it's a choice you have to live with, and it can make you feel badly about yourself.
Not so much when you are married to someone. Catholics are big on having kids within marriage(brings more membership you know). Don't ever count on anybody changing to better meet your views of the world. You can either live with hers or you can't. Don't just be pushing for change or the relationship will end bad anyway. She may change and she may not, you have to take her for how she is now. Now if you were older then 15, I would tell you sex is very important to keep a relationship going or at least being on the same wave length sexually. At 15 you have the rest of your life to explore your sexuality and you probably won't end up married to this girl anyway. The only people whose opinions matter here are yours and your girlfriends. Its an increased risk but within a marriage where children are welcome what does it matter?
sex is just sex. it is not love. a loving relationship, a loving friendship even, can make sex more a physical communication and sharing. but it's just a single act, once among many that make up a relationship. right along with doing the dishes when your partner cooks, or picking a flower that you thought your partner would find pretty, or giving a footrub when you're partner has been worked hard all day. it's just one thing. some people get more of a kick out of it than others, that's just people. we all have levels of enjoyment in different things. but nothing is worth obsessing over to the exclusion of everything else.
