For starters, Leane is now about 21 months old. For the last few weeks, she has turned into the clingiest girl ever. Since she was born, she's always liked to be around people, couldn't stand to be left alone, and that was all fine with me. But at the same time, I could put her down for a nap, and leave the room for a while to get some stuff done. Or at bed time, I could put her to sleep, and then she would stay conked out for a few hours (sometimes till 4-7am) until we came to bed. We alternated between the crib (which was in our room) and just having her in our bed, depending on where ever she stayed alseep. Then, in febuary, we moved into a 3 bedroom place, and we set up a room for her with a twin bed. The first night, she slept right through in it. She loved her bed. We would tuck her in at night, she would give us a hug and a kiss, would say "bye bye" and would go to sleep. We would sit in the room with her until we knew she was out, and she'd usually be good most of the night. There were some nights she would wake up and wander into our room, and we'd just pull her into bed with us. Then, about 3 weeks ago, it all changed. We went to go lay her in bed one night, and she screamed. During the day, she loves it and will play around on her bed and all is good. Once night hits, bam, she hates it. We can't even get her to lay down there anymore. There was one night I layed in bed with her, she crawled out and stood in the hall while I just layed in her bed. It took her about 20 minutes to come back into the room. We still ended up going into our room again. Now, she won't even go to bed without us. It's come to the point where she's not going to sleep until 11pm (we have to wake up at 7 am every morning). I am in college, and I used to take advantage of those 3 hours between 9pm and 12 am after she went to bed to do my homework. She will not sleep unless mommy and daddy are there with her. The same thing is happening with naps now, too. She will not nap unless I am right there beside her. This is really odd, and seems out of character for her. Now, I am thinking this may have something to do with the new baby coming. Just maybe. In the beginning of the pregnancy, I would point to her baby dolls and the to my tummy and say "baby inside." She would pat my tummy and say, "baby." Now, she won't do it. She's not really affectionate with her baby dolls any more either (used to carry them around, kiss them all the time, hug them, feed them, etc). I'm wondering if she has made the connection that there's another baby that mommy is caring for, and she's kinda turned back into a "baby" herself. I just didn't know if she was old enough to comprehend the whole baby thing just yet. In response, I haven't really been doing anything to make her feel like she has to grow up all of a sudden. I still call her my baby, I am not forcing her into sleeping where and when she doesn't want to, etc... Does anyone else have any ideas about what might be going on here...or if there's a different way that I could be handling this. I really am stumped!
Let her needs direct what you do. She obviously is feeling anxious about the baby. I think young children understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Let her snuggle in your bed with you and dh if that's what she needs. Let her know that she is not being replaced. She'll be fine!
Yep, my first thought when I saw your post was "she feels the baby coming". My son was already 3-1/2, but I definitely saw a shift in his behavior as we got closer. He even got to a point where he wanted me to spoon feed him, and by the time the baby came, he was in our bed every night. Hang in there and try to be understanding with her. If you need your time alone at night for homework, can your hubby lay with her at 9? I kept my son in a crib until 2-1/2 so he was kind of trapped until then, so I didn't have to deal with making him stay in his bed until recently. Good luck!
yeah, that was kinda what I figured. I wasn't sure whether or not she would have been able to sense it or not just yet. I'm not pushing her into doing anything she doesn't want to do right now, since I figured that would only make her feel worse, kinda like she's being pushed aside, or isn't as important anymore... did it ease up after a while for anyone? did it take a few months till after the baby was born? or does it never really go back to the other child having the same kind of independence?
It gets better and worse for us, but my son is 4, so I'm not sure if you can compare. He goes thru phases where he wants to be a baby, but I had to get firm with him about staying in his bed. He tosses and turns, kicks, and fusses all night in our bed so if I co-sleep with him, I don't sleep at all. I now let him come to my bed when the sun comes up and I swear he is there by 5am every day, that I don't mind at all LOL. The spoon feeding I had to stop too, just because now I am spoon feeding another one. So he feeds himself again, except on Saturdays when he gets special things, like spoonfeeding, TV, etc. I imagine how hard it is for them, it was just Mavi and me for 3-1/2 years, he's never had to share me! Good luck!
I have four children and the most important lesson I have learned is to not expect that things will stay the same EVER. They never do. We sleep with our children and love it. They become more independent this way because they are secure. I think your little girl should sleep with you as long as she wants. Don't think few months but with no time limit. If you remove her from the family bed after a while she will feel horrible and become hateful toward the baby. My way is books. I real and learn how to be a parent. It helps me a lot. I learn from other parents too, but when I want real skill and psychology, I read and study. I learned how tough it is for a young one to anticipate a baby and then to live with "being replaced" feeling, and I learned how to alleviate the pain.
I already said that I wasn't going to push her to go out of our bed. She is welcome in there whenever she likes. My post was to address her sudden change in behavior, not my parenting skills. I can read all I want. My daughter is my daughter, and I need to know her for who she is. Every book is going to tell you something different, that is something I have learned since even becoming pregnant with her. I take that info with a gain of salt. I'd rather know her and what's going on, and trust my own insincts as a mother, and compare that to real life experiences from real parents, rather than reading a book.
