This is an excerpt from my diary/blog...thought I'd share it with you all. ---It started bright and early at 5 am (jeezy chreezy). Then I drove to GCU to go meet up w/ Mel. We drove to Metropark to hop the train to NYC. I forgot what part of NJ Metropark was in until I saw a poster of Shahrukh Khan on the platform and like a billion aunties and uncles. Once we got to Penn Station, we walked a few blocks and waited on line to get into the Manhattan Centre. We saw bunches of different peoples, some funky hippies, some aunties w/ kids, some random people who just heard about Amma through the grapevine. My favourite was the woman in front of us who was a crazy hippie w/ a baby wrap sling w/ a two month old (soooo cute!). We got our tokens (they call you up to the darshan line kind of like the deli line at shoprite...with a number that gets changed). We had C2 (we were very lucky, I met a woman walking around and she had O2 :-o ). There were all sorts of chachquis and stalls selling things around to look at (which made me happy) all for Amma's various charities. So I bummed around looking. Then we all took our seats b/c Amma was coming in. Amma came in the middle aisle and everyone kneeled down (b/c we were asked not to stand) so they could see her come in/touch her feet if you could. Then her closer devotees did aarti to her and gave her a mala and she walked down the aisle to her seat at the front where she'd give darshan. It was awesome to see her...the whole atmosphere of the room changed when she got in. And right as she passed us she looked around and started laughing. It was really fun and cute. Think jolly grandma. lol. Then she got to the front and they did a guided meditation...which was all right except the guy leading it sounded like a frog...so it wasn't very soothing or helpful for concentration. lol. Then they started darshan, so we all started walking around again looking at stuffs. When it was about B2, I went and bought a little thing of flowers to give Amma and I bought Melissa a piece of fruit (she picked a lemon). I found out later Amma was giving the flower petals w/ the prashad and I am guessing the fruit went in lunch. Finally it was C2, so we got on the darshan line, but we eventually got separated. I understand now what Vidhya said about the devotees moving the line along being pushy...but I understand that they were trying to get as many people through as possible...so I forgave them. Some of them were nice, particularly the lady that watched my bag once I got closer to Amma. After you are on the chair line, you kneel on a mat line and they take your bag, ask people w/ noticable amounts of make up to wash their face and take glasses in a basket (so they don't get squished). Then when you are almost to Amma a lady asks what language you speak (she was a bit rude). Melissa told me later the lady asked her if she spoke Hindi. lol. So the woman before me was hugging Amma and I was just watching Amma and I didn't know what to think...I don't think I did think. I just sat there...and she stopped in mid hug w/ that woman to talk to her one of her disciples in Malayalam and then went back to hugging... ...finally it was my turn. Amma took my flowers and she took me and starting hugging me/rocking me. When she hugs you she buries you into her sari and so I noticed she smelled really really good (Melissa later agreed). Then she rocks you and says over and over "my daughter, my daughter" and I started to hug back, but I kind of eventually just let go and let her hug me. It felt like and eternity and a second that I was being hugged and rocked. Finally it was over and I was like, "woah what just happened". I almost forgot my back. And the devotees quickly give you a chocolate kiss (prashad) and some flower petals and scoot you off... you only get a lingering last look at Amma ...I was sad they pushed me off so fast for the shear fact I needed like a minute to take it in. ::shrug:: But what can you do? So after I finally collected myself...Mel and I went downstairs to where the food was and I bought a samosa and a little cup of mango lassi just to eat something and while I was on line, she went to the bathroom and I got my minute or two to take it all in. I was feeling so peaceful. I didn't know what to expect. Because a lot of people talk about Amma and how people just cry in her arms...but it wasn't like all those esctatic experiences they tell you about...it was like calm and peaceful and feeling settled and in awe. It was very nice. Seriously...I can't even describe it to you. Even now when I have this little memory of it...just being rocked, "my daughter, my daughter", it makes me smile. Hmmmm...
We recently watched a docu film about Amma. Very interesting overall, and she seems like a fine and saintly woman, but also the center of a huge personality cult. I know, my spiritual roots are in ISKCON...and maybe that's why I'm negatively sensitized to this kind of adulation seemingly being more focused on a person rather than on God, scripture, and teachings. However, if she comes here, I'm sure my wife and I will go and line up for a hug along with everyone else . Your story reminds me of a recent experience. There's another charismatic Indian teacher...forget his name right off...who has a large following in the US and his headquarters ashram in Austin, TX, about 200 miles south of Dallas. Last November, a friend and I drove to Austin and visited the ashram, and a few weeks later went to hear his leading disciple speak at the Dallas/Fort Worth Hindu temple. This speaker was an 80-year-old, saintly Indian sannyasi, white-bearded and saffron-robed...the very picture of a guru. At the conclusion of his lecture I left with the same feeling you described...not in a state of ecstasy, but uplifted and peaceful.
I too am glad to hear of your experience. Just like to second Bro.Jo in saying yes, it is good if Amma is helping you connect with the Cosmic Divine Mother, but don't get caught up the cult of personality. I've been there (not with Amma) and it cost me a lot of lost time.
Hey Dude! I've been away - busy working at festivals. More to come this month, so I won't be online much for a few weeks. Here's me doing my downtempo set in the early hours of last sunday morning.
::nods:: I agree with you about personality.... and I was a little uncomfortable about the emphasis on her being the Divine Mother...whether she is or isn't...or whether she is a saint/guru/ect or isn't... ::shrug:: I don't know. I think she's a wonderful teacher and she gives very nice hugs I have to say I didn't care for the pushiness of a few of her followers...it ruined the experience for one of my friends at school...I know no one's perfect...but nonetheless a little kindness doesn't hurt anyone... PS- nice picture.
Probably Amma is a channel for the Divine Mother energy - or something like that. In the I Ching (42 -5) it says 'if kindness is recognized as your virtue, you have achieved your purpose completely'.
