no child support, and threats instead

as some of you here know I spent a long time languishing in a verbally abusive and isolative marriage. I have taken control of my life, and my children and I have left that situation and are staying with old friends as I rebuild my self-esteem and life. In this process I have no income, and my ex is refusing to pay any kind of child support. He has said it's fine that I took the kids and left but if I try to file for any kind of monetary support from him then he will claim I "kidnapped" the kids and have me arrested.

I know others here have dealt with simillar issues. I just don't know how to get by in the long run. My husband has always rejected our youngest because he wanted me to have an abortion, he never took care of or bonded with him in any way. My son has several "special needs" issues that my ex refused to allow me to seek any evaluations or treatment for him for. He is now in the process of receiving evaluations and will be able to receive the help he needs in our new lives. He is doing well, too, some of his problems have been diagnosed as PTSD ( stress related from verbal/emotional abuse)

anyway I would rather not deal with my ex, particulary since he doesn't have much income and will only deny ability to pay anything, however it's hard to survive without any help at all. Even applying for food stamps they want me to file for child support and I feel I just can't without enduring threats and crazy negativity and that the end result would be so minimal it's pointless. Is there any way to proceed legally ending my marriage and not file for child support? I just want this nightmare to be over...

 

If you can provide proof that there are continuing verbal and emotional threats you can receive public aid without pursuing child support. Also, as the mother, you have just as much right to the childen as he has. As long as you have not deprived him of the knowledge of where his children are, he can't charge you with anything. Even if you don't let him know where they are, the most he can do is say you are interfering with his parental rights. You need to get an immediate order of custody so he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Without that, he can come and take the kids at any time and you can do nothing about it. He is abusive, he has deprived your child of needed medical care, and he has made threats against you. You need to take action to protect yourself and your children.

Good luck on your journey.
Kathi