I think the Quest for Orgasm is killing all of us. Trying to have one makes sex really un-fun for me and my partner (who is having an existential crisis because he can't give me one, and he can't give me one because I get so tense trying to have one), and seeing all these other people trying so hard to find one (by sleeping with everyone they can, or doing all sorts of silly things) or feeling lousy and wondering what is wrong with them because they can't have one, indicates I'm not the only one who feels this way. So what is sex all about? And what about this damn orgasm? I can have one by myself and that is all I want; when I'm with someone else, I want to please THEM. Is anyone else like this?
He's trying hard to give you one! Didn't you say in one of your post that he doesn't do much foreplay or oral. Are you expecting to cum by non-oral means, that's what's making it harder. I don't think he's really trying at all. But it seems that you're denying those things yourself. I have the best O when I'm with a steady partner, I really don't go sleeping around. I don't really think much about it just go with the flow, relish the sensations and it happens. I do assert he gives me foreplay and oral, or at least fingering. You really need to relax and allow yourself the fun you deserve.
It seems like you have serious issues regarding sex. I don't know what to tell you besides just to relax and enjoy.
Suncatch22 - you don't just have to please the guy you are with. I get as much pleasure out of pleasing my woman as I do when I get aroused and cum. Have you ever had a guy give you a g spot orgasm? Not many guys know how to do it well. PM me if you want to learn how a guy can give you one.
Nope you're not the only one. Am like that 2. I always put the girl before me, as a matter of fact, I usually don't come at all when I have sex. Don't get me wrong, I have a GREAT time having sex. I love it when the girl is dripping wet and screaming my name. I love it when she comes and I just keep going & going. Then I feel even better when she tells me I was her best 1 ever. That's just so much better for me than an orgasm, it makes me feel great.
I have sex for pleasure, not so that I can have an orgasm. Sex is also better for me when there are real feelings involved.
I've read some of your other posts, and I think you need to start having sex for you, not your partner. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with pleasing your partner. You need to experiment a bit, relax, figure out what you like, what you don't, and tell him.