Im new here but i just wanted to post some confessions. I rely on energy from my friends to be social. For example, if im at a party or in class where i dont know anyone, ill just sit there cause im too scared to strike up a conversation with someone. ON the other hand, if im a party full of friends, ill feel like a social king. Im afraid of the future because i dont want to commit to a certain job and work all day and come home to eat and sleep and go back to work the next day. i sometimes feel that committing suicide would be the best option because life is so confusing. but suicide is also very selfish imo because of the effect on your friends and family. sometimes i really consider leaving all materials behind and becoming a monk in japan. It'd just be so simple, you know? btw im half japanese. When someone insults me or is just mean to me, it's usually in my mind for the rest of the day. I can never just let go of those feelings. im addicted to the internet/computer. i cant look into the eyes of whoever is talking to me for five seconds without looking away. and when i do end up looking square into his/her eyes, i realize that i had concentrated so hard on looking into their eyes that i wasnt even listening to what they were saying.haha. this one time at a party, i was talking to this girl who had really beautiful eyes and i had started to say something when i just got lost in her eyes.... thank god she knew what i was gonna say so she finished my sentence. I swear if she wouldnt have said that, i wouldve just been staring at her for 2 minutes trying to remember what i was talking about. one more. sometimes i sort of have a conversation with myself. i imagine myself talking to a certain person (usually someone i have a crush on or something) and try to think of funny things to say to them. but i do it in a low whisper usually at night in bed or in the bathroom. anyway, sorry about the long post, i just needed to get that off my back and share it with someone.
Not saying that you should stare everyone down, that would be creepy but you should learn how to look some one in the eye, it is needed at times.
^agreed but I couldn't do that when I was younger either (like, probably about 2 years ago) with guys and girls I was not attracted to, I would just get uncomfortable and look away and with physically attractive girls, my whole body would just over heat, and I would look away most of your problems are issues of confidence and insecurity life is a scary thing man, but you gotta learn to keep the thinking positive trust in your hopes, and more importantly in yourself work on trying to improve your faults overcome your fears and such it will all fall into place
I rely on energy from my friends to be social. For example, if im at a party or in class where i dont know anyone, ill just sit there cause im too scared to strike up a conversation with someone. ON the other hand, if im a party full of friends, ill feel like a social king. Well thats pretty normal, being shy, but oncce you start talking to people, it's easy even if you ask a stupid question just to break the ice like "how do you know so and so?" Im afraid of the future because i dont want to commit to a certain job and work all day and come home to eat and sleep and go back to work the next day. I know the feeling actually i sometimes feel that committing suicide would be the best option because life is so confusing. but suicide is also very selfish imo because of the effect on your friends and family. I used to think that but then you only live once why end it any earlier than intened? sometimes i really consider leaving all materials behind and becoming a monk in japan. It'd just be so simple, you know? btw im half japanese. All the power to you if you can really do that, I would never be able to pull that off When someone insults me or is just mean to me, it's usually in my mind for the rest of the day. I can never just let go of those feelings. I guess for me it depends on the insult but yeah a lot of the time I cant let go either, I guess what it comes down to is confidence im addicted to the internet/computer. The computer is pretty nice, I cant lie haha i cant look into the eyes of whoever is talking to me for five seconds without looking away. and when i do end up looking square into his/her eyes, i realize that i had concentrated so hard on looking into their eyes that i wasnt even listening to what they were saying.haha. No human can hold eye contact for more than five seconds, at a time, if so its completley unnatural this one time at a party, i was talking to this girl who had really beautiful eyes and i had started to say something when i just got lost in her eyes.... thank god she knew what i was gonna say so she finished my sentence. I swear if she wouldnt have said that, i wouldve just been staring at her for 2 minutes trying to remember what i was talking about. I hope you told her how amazing her eyes were one more. sometimes i sort of have a conversation with myself. i imagine myself talking to a certain person (usually someone i have a crush on or something) and try to think of funny things to say to them. but i do it in a low whisper usually at night in bed or in the bathroom. hahahaha I do that all the time its rediculous Yeah if you want to talk or something feel free to PM me. Oh and welcome to the threads by the way.
I rely on energy from my friends to be social. For example, if im at a party or in class where i dont know anyone, ill just sit there cause im too scared to strike up a conversation with someone. ON the other hand, if im a party full of friends, ill feel like a social king. Same with me all the time! But i only need my one of best mates there and a room full of strangers... When someone insults me or is just mean to me, it's usually in my mind for the rest of the day. I can never just let go of those feelings. Same with me it jus makes me feel cruddy and makes me wonder why they said it. im addicted to the internet/computer. HAHA same again one more. sometimes i sort of have a conversation with myself. i imagine myself talking to a certain person (usually someone i have a crush on or something) and try to think of funny things to say to them. but i do it in a low whisper usually at night in bed or in the bathroom. I do it in my mind tho. It seems to me that most of this stuff is actually quite common and theres nothing you need to wory about.
I've been through the same exact thing. I used to be really shy but I would be all crazy and silly when I was with my friends. I guess your friends just give you confidence. I got over my shyness and I recommend everyone to do so. I mean I still get nervous sometimes a bit when I can't think of something to say to a new friend but you just have to force yourself to talk to people and it gets easier. Just remember that there is no reason to be nervous or intimidated - they are human just like you, they're not better than you, they've experienced love, pain, fear, humiliation. This is what helps me.. Okay I actually read it on a fucking starbucks cup but whatever haha. Maybe try working a retail job where you have to talk to people (maybe try a store you actually enjoy), working for my dad's store I think helped me a bit. I still have problems sometimes looking people in the eye but I just kind of make myself do it ya know? So don't kill yourself or anything, its okay, a lot of people go through what you're going through (as you can see from this thread) and you can overcome it.
yeah, i feel kinda the same way too. but, 'ive kinda gotten over the looking in the eye thing. and i've never wanted to be a monk, but i've thought about wanting to go off places like that. so, ur not completely alone.
no problem man haha. oh and im not planning on killing myself or anything. i just wanted to share myself with people.
