about 4 weeks ago i met a guy in a club & we hooked up & started seeing each other & he seemed really keen, calling me & writing me emails from his office everyday, even little things like "im going to spend the night with my daughter but ill call you tomoro & we will do something ok, kisses!" he is a 32yr old lawyer with a duaghter, & i am 23 year old travellor that decided to stay & live in his country. ok the sex was the most amazing i have ever had, i really felt something & he sounded like he was feeling the same huaha......it was slow getting to know each other cos we speak different languages, & we stilll barely know anything about each other only that we have amazing chemistry...... Anyway the end of the second week he didnt call or write 3 days in a row, & my freinds could se that i was getting ansy & said hey forget him go have fun, & i took there advice & the worst thing ever happened, he saw me kissing someone else in a club..... i wrote him an email the next day saying look i know we were just seeing each other & i really like you still & sorry you saw that, he didnt write back for like a week then he said ok ill call you this week, & he didnt call untill the next week so its been like almost 3 weeks since weve seen each other & the other night he calls to ask how i was & if i wanted to go out after he finished work, then he left me waiting & didnt call back.... i get the feeling he only wants sex, but then maybe i hurt him kissing the other guy? i have no idea ?? should i bother with all of this !!!! my head says no way my heart wants to hold on just in case it was meant to be something more than just that....
I've been in that situation a couple of times and both times it was just the sex they wanted. So if i were you i'd just forget about him, you don't need someone that messes you around like that, i'm sure you deserve better, so just go out and carry on having fun. good luck
It sounds like he just wants sex. You gotta be careful with older guys and not sleep with them too soon because there are two types-the ones who want to sleep with lots of young girls and have the life experience to know what to say to get in your pants and the type who want to settle down and have a family. Especially with the language barrier I would be careful and if you want a relationship don't 'hook-up', Nothing good but diseases can come out of it imo. If you do want to make it work with this guy stop returning his phone calls for a little while...it's amazing how fast guys want you when they thinkt hey can't have you. And continue with your travels. If he is serious about you and wants to see you he can uy you a plane ticket to see him. I've never changed my plans for any guy, no matter how much I love them until i have a ring on my finger...actions speak louder than words.
Ok prob not enough info , but Id suspect it sounds like you were both buzzing a bit from the chemistry/thrill/fun of it all. 3days not writing is nothing.You gave him the impression you just wanta bit of fun. He took your defence as "Im sorry I got caught ". He showed abit of commitment with the emails and to him , maybe it seems wasted. U need to be honest and open with him. Maybe the fizz has gone out of it , he mightve thought u were playing him - so he wants to show some "pride" ie pretend to be less interested even if he is. U say u were slow getting to know each other - maybe it was all a "diversion" - a bit of fun that wouldnt last. I dunno. Good luck. PS gotta say Bella re the "sleeping with them too soon" , if I feel someone is holding out on me too much , I just treat it as a power game and that someone's getting athrill from trying to play me.( Dont forget its often us guys who have to do the running , the searching , chatting up ,the impressing, paying for dates etc- we wanna know very early on if its a runner with us) I end up cutting it off very quickly otherwise. No offence meant , just being honest
that's why ya gotta give them just enough...so they're not bored but they def want more. Kiss seductivley on the first date, but don't sleep with them...reiterate how wonderful they are. You can be charming and hook a guy in without taking off your pants. I can count the number of people I have slept with on one hand and I am engaged so that number's not going up and I have never had anyone since high svhool dump me because I wouldn't put out. Women make it too easy for men now and then wonder why they get treated like crap. YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU.
while i agree with what you say about giving it away to easy, i cant help it in the heat of the moment cos normaly i want it to....i dont like to hold back just for the sake of making him want me more, its a bit of a game & i like to be honest in my words & actions...besides im in brazil its quite normal to fuck on the first date here.......rsrsrs
anyway this guys rang me on friday night, after not returning my call monday he said this..........hi sorry i didnt call back the other day (which was 4 days ago), i arrived late home from work..... i just rang to say happy freindship day & send you a kiss....at first i thought he was being sweeet but i think he was just using the freindhip day (latin american day of freindhsip here on friday) it was his way of saying yeh were just freinds now. anyway im going back to that same club tonight with my freinds where i normaly see him & where he saw me kissing....so if i see him ill just play it cool....& try not to kiss anyone else....
and don't get with him!!! Just be flirty and coy with him. I know you want it right away and aren't doing it for him, but sometimes getting what you want in the long run means sacrificing what you want immediatley now (sex)
I have been in this situation before. More than likely he only wants sex. He probably doesn't care that you were kissing someone else in the club. You may think he cares because women think these things and they want men to care when they act this way, but men don't. At least not in this situation. My question is don't people just date normally anymore. No wonder so many people have so many relationship problems. I mean you meet someone and hook up, then he doesn't call so you go out kissing other people that you don't even know and then you wonder what guy #1 was thinking about the whole thing. I know I'm thinking...
