i need help, lost a love, im miserable

i have gone out with a girl for about a year and a half now with a girl i love more than anything. for the first year and few months have been the happiest times of my life. lately shes been hanging out w/ her friends and never me and doing all these little things wrong that made me sad. last night i talked to her about it, it went on for hours and we ended up breaking up (well, i'd say she dumped me) which i almost felt prepared for, basically telling myself that shes not the girl i fell in love with and i deserve to be treated a lot better than how she treats me (which i have been told by plenty of people). at first i thought to myself "okay, its over, things happen lets go on" and in about 5 minutes this broke down and i felt miserable, didnt get absolutely any sleep last night and all today have been physically sick bc of all this. i dont know what to do because i still love her but feel like i cant try to get her back bc of the way shes changed, and i am completely stuck.

hmm, now with me reading over this i realized im ranting and its making no sense.... anyone just wanna comment or something? thanks, its really appreciated

 

hey,

i am sorry to hear that you two broke up. Like you, alot of people tell me that my boyfriend treats me badly BUT i love him. Love always complicates things. If she broke up with you then i really dont think that the relationship would have worked. My boyfriend and myself have broke up o countless occasions but we somehow always end back together. In the end i always question the relationship....My advice to you is to stick out the break-up...i know that it is hard but do stuff to take your mind off her and her shit...hang out with friends ...i am destructive when my boyfriend and i break up i get drunk and smoke lots of weed...trust me it doesnt help though the relief is temporary....just do something to get your mind off of her....im sure you have good friends....if not you can always PM me....

 

If someone is honestly treating you like dirt then get out ,get drunk and get laid - you'll be amazed how quickly you'lll forget em.

 

twould be nice, but heart problems keep me from drinking and i have a thing w/ not getting w/ people i dont like :$ , but thanks for the plan anyway, lol. oh, and lanalou, heres what i got from a friend, i liked this a lot, so i thought you could benefit from it too:

If you're miserable about life, and girls in particular, I know a thing or two there. When you fall in love and you're really enamoured with a person, you see in them what you want. You think there is no one better or that no one will care for you if you have to hold on to this one person. Even if they are treating you like a piece of shrimp. Why? It's a lot of things perhaps but most of all it's because of fear. The fear of being alone or hurting them or yourself or the fear of not being loved.

Everyone wants to be accepted and be loved but if you don't start with yourself you'll become miserable because you won't have enough love for yourself to take care of yourself. If you are miserable then that is like skunk oder and it makes people not want to be part of it. Why? Because they want to be accepted and loved. The only people that might go to a miserable person are other miserable people because misery loves company. But I tell you do you think that they are happy and healthy then? No, they may find comfort knowing that others are going through simliar things but it doesn't help them out of their dark hole of misery.

So like I tell many folks. Take control of your life by taking control of your emotions. Don't let your emotions control you. It takes practice and time especially if you don't know anyone that can do it but you'll become and appear strong, confident and in control then and that is a natural attractant.

I tell you! There is nothing to fear but fear itself!

At least 1 guy or gal falls in love or has some relationship problem and comes to me about it a day. I ask you to ask yourselves these kinds of things:

1. Did this person reciprocate my feelings or did I go overboard?
2. Am I hating others because they are getting attention from the person I want attention from?
3. Why am I making myself miserable?
4. If the person didn't reciprocate, what can I do to move on and leave that chapter in the past?
5. If they did, what can I do to not put the burden of my misery on the relationship?
6. If I'm hating others, is there some hobby or other people I can be around that I like so I can forget about hating?
7. Do I really have a good reason to be hating or is it just a petty thing?
8. If someone is hating on me, is there some way to keep myself from being around that constant abuse?
9. Is there a way I can talk them out of the hating or are they just stubborn? 10. Am I too wound up? Do I need some time to relax and calm down?

 

you found her didnt you?!where there is one,there is always better.proof is in the pudding

 

well of course you're gonna be upset being in love is the best and yet most painful emotion and experience one can feel. It'll take time to get past this wave of emotion that is causing you pain and heartache. I was with someone for a year and a half who treated me like i shouldn't have been treated and plenty of people told me so but i didn't listen cuz i wanted to see the good in him, and it took us breaking up to see what he was really like.
Time really does heal many things. If I were you, trying being around supportive friends and talking about it and writing about it. You might take this time to discover something new to do with your time...and if you have to....if a few months goes by and your still not over the heartbreak......try taking all the pics youhave of eachother and love notes(if you have those) and burning them...some people find this very theraputic. well let me know how things go.

 

Dude. LOVE SUCKS ! Its GREAT.. Its everything we hate. Its a pain in the rear. Its nothing but a load of tears. Once your curse with it, Your scared for life cause you know you can't live without it. What hurts worse then the lose is the knowlage that you need to find it again soon or you'll never get over it. OMG i hate love.. But i need it so bad.

Advice? ( shakes his head ) nothing helps. only a hug will do. ((( hugs )))
move forward. start the hunt as soon as you can. please..please dont do what so many do and suffer.. dont chase her. if you truely love her and she wants to move on without you.. let her go. If it makes her happy, let her go.

Been here..done this. Life still sucks.
(( hugs ))

Omniwulf

 

Shit, i'm in a very similar situation. I'm still in love with my ex, but we've broken up and doubt we'll be back together.
I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm not ready to be in a relationship now, it's hard but i need to learn to love myself first.

anyways, there's not much you can do to change your feelings, but you can keep your mind occupied with things, like a hobbie or going out with friends. I'm not looking for anything right now, i just go out and have fun, a few drinks, dance, more drinks and just trying to forget that I'm hurting. It's hard to do it though, my mind wanders at moments but that'll soon stop.

you know what? it's best to assume that it didnt work out and it'll never will. i know hope is the last thing remaining, but time will be the best healer. I've been there so many times it's like a routine i have. dont let a girl make you feel so miserable, life is so full of things you are yet to discover. the world doesnt end with a relationship, it's just starts from another starting point.

good luck, try to be happy! (((((((hugs)))))))

 

thanks everybody, all your comments helped lots....
and this song XD
Across Five Autumns - A Year From Now:

Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step that you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,
But will never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

 

And lucky for me, I Love pudding!! :-D