Being disowned by a family member is more common than you think, and I never thought it would happen to me, but then again life can kick you in the balls in all kinds of ways, and thank Jah I already knew that (I tend to look at things skeptically so when life throws me a curve ball I can be prepared and not surprised), otherwise I would be even more heart broken over the recent happenings in my family. I have cried many tears and now there are none . I have been depressed and I almost feel like I was not REAL family in the first place to the person who is not speaking to me now. Now I am just in this anger phase, wondering why people only see the fact that I do not have a JOB, and they never see the fact that I am a full time mother, cook, maid, seamstress, wife, accountant etc to my family and I do not have all the time in the world to beckon to their every call. I am now feeling very bitter and completely hurt because I thought I meant more than I really do to someone who seems to think of me as completely disposable. I have always been there for my family and try to do everything they ever ask of me, I love them with all my heart. I am just human and there are some things that I just can not handle and instead of pretending I can handle them, I finally learned to tell people how I feel and the best part I LEARNED TO SAY NO when I feel like I am being treated like a slave rather than being treated like family. So I guess what I am getting at is this, if you have a family member that stops talking to you because you physically and emotionally can not handle being their own personal personal assistant service when you have a life and house of your own, FUCK THEM they must not have been family in the first place if they are mad at you for not wasting all your time taking care of their shit when you have your own to deal with...................
That's easier said than done. I wish I could remember a time when I wasn't either being criticized for my own life choices (or my wife's life choices) or being expected to take respomsibilty for the life choices of my relations. Whenever a relation thinks "Ok we need someone who can do..." it's often followed by "So let's call..." If you can tell me a nice way to say no (and be able to follow it through), I'd be obliged.
I never did find a nice way... I figured that when you say no, there is no nice way, people always take it personally and later on resent you for it and it is so LAME Probably why this person has not spoken to me coming up on a month now...
yep it is all over the god damn dogs... i do feel great now that i have my own life back and i am not running around doing shit for someone else =)
I tried so many different approaches to saying no......... I gave reasons why I was saying no and all I head was "you don't have to make up excuses, just say no" WTF? Having kids and a house is hardly an excuse................ More like a good fucking reason I can not neglect my children to babysit dogs HAHA Finally when I got down to just saying no, my mother in law would go "ok you cant watch the dogs tonight, can you just come over tomorrow then" and when I said I cant do that either I got "well can you come by at noon and make sure the maid cleaned right" wtf?? you can make sure the maid cleaned when you get home from work, KISS MY ASS, I have three kids and my own house to clean, must be nice to have a fucking maid? I guess if you read between those bitter hateful lines of mine you can see that no matter how you say no, it is going to piss someone off............... sometimes when you say no, they don't listen and in my case they switch the question up and ask it differently trying to trick you into changing your mind.....................
I truly believe that WE as a whole pick our circle of family just like we picks our friends. But we have to keep in mind that we keep the ones we love and care about close but we keep our enemies closer because they are the ones that need MORE love (even though we cannot associate w/ them). I have a 2 faced family. First off I just recently got married 1 yr 4.5 mon ago. MY WHOLE family didn't want to travel to where I live 6 hrs away to see me get married but they wanted me to get married in my home town. I moved away for a very good reason . My family knows why and holds it over MY head all the time. 5 ppl out of my whole family attended my Wedding. My sister on the other hand WANTED to steal my day. Than my family will talk behins my back like i don't know to my own husband and my husband doesn't know what to do but tell me and say thats wrong your family is stupid i don't know why they back stab you like that. I have done everything for them and they treat me like i'm stupid. I have babysat for my sister and done everything for my mom i could possibly think of. My cousins are "prim & proper" and get cash handed over to them whenever ans however. Me on the other hand . I CAN but i cannot work full time because of my medical problems. I have done everything in my power to get jobs i've gone to school and i AM now working with children that have demading prob, but i'm 2 cm big to my family . My medical prob coulda meant DEAD or alive and my family is treating me like i'm better than you are. SO Fucking what. You know i look at it this way. YOU EITHER ACCEPT IT .. OR YOU DON'T. YOU CANNOT CONTROL ANYBODY ELSES ACTIONS ACCEPT YOUR OWN. My sister thinks since she has been a 4.0 student shes better than me . Thank God i'm in school, Thank God i'm able to learn. Mom just thinks i'm worth nothing . I'll tell you one thing. If ppl have not 1 thing nice to say about you don't associate with them . Why? Why even step close to them with such negativity. You know my mother met my husband for the first time when we first met I said to him Watch yourself your in for it . i'm warning you She had nothing nice to say about me at all. ~she doesn't cook ~she doesn't do laundry ~she doesn't make her bed ~She doesn't do the dishes ~Shes never had a job ~She doesn't succeed in school I was so embarrassed I'm like WTF i do everything like that she doesn't live in my shoes My hubby is like omg what a bitch So What i'm trying to say is just pick your relatives just like you would your friends .. And if your friends have to be your relatives so be it. teri
man teri that sucks, it is sad that familly usually comes with more drama than any other people you will ever meet in your life =(
Yes is sad and you know blood i thought was thicker than water. The sad part of it is "I" let everything get to me and AM a VERY sensitive person. One thing about family is the tell one person than another and another. My sister a few years back would tell my mom and dad everything if I ever said anything. finally i stepped up to the plate and said very rudely You know you need to keep your mouth shut . Soon enough mom and dad aren't going to be around much lonhger than what? EW won't talk anymore becauise of your bullshit attitide. Step it up try and talk to my face and not around me snot! Shes like oh well i guess i could shes 30 in sept go figure and i'm 25. my thing says 34. hehe i don't like to tell my age. But sometimes you just have to be rude.
I've been best friends with the nicest girl for 22 years... She will replace .5 my family We can talk about friends periods guys chest hair lmao attitudes school Anything and she will not judge you. Its awesome but family its a whole different thing
yeah its funny how everyone always says family is there for you no matter what, they got that one totally wrong
I find they're there for me, but usually with a bunch of complaints about what I did wrong and could have done better.
yeah he is there till christmas time and then back again till next spring......... he said not to worry about it and not to bother trying to call or anything... that is what i was going to do anyways but sometimes i still get pissed off and I hate to bother him with it because when we talk I want to be able to have a real conversation and not just discuss the same person over and over =( it gets old.......... so i just had to get it out here LOL
Being disowned by a family member is more common than you think, and I never thought it would happen to me, but then again life can kick you in the balls in all kinds of ways, and thank Jah I already knew that (I tend to look at things skeptically so when life throws me a curve ball I can be prepared and not surprised), otherwise I would be even more heart broken over the recent happenings in my family. I have cried many tears and now there are none . I have been depressed and I almost feel like I was not REAL family in the first place to the person who is not speaking to me now. Now I am just in this anger phase, wondering why people only see the fact that I do not have a JOB, and they never see the fact that I am a full time mother, cook, maid, seamstress, wife, accountant etc to my family and I do not have all the time in the world to beckon to their every call. I am now feeling very bitter and completely hurt because I thought I meant more than I really do to someone who seems to think of me as completely disposable. I have always been there for my family and try to do everything they ever ask of me, I love them with all my heart. I am just human and there are some things that I just can not handle and instead of pretending I can handle them, I finally learned to tell people how I feel and the best part I LEARNED TO SAY NO when I feel like I am being treated like a slave rather than being treated like family. So I guess what I am getting at is this, if you have a family member that stops talking to you because you physically and emotionally can not handle being their own personal personal assistant service when you have a life and house of your own, FUCK THEM they must not have been family in the first place if they are mad at you for not wasting all your time taking care of their shit when you have your own to deal with................... __________________ FPM- So yesterday me and my hubby we talking about family and this that and the other thing . Come to find out that BEHIND my back my OWN blood family had said that i'm too slow to comprehend things, No i'm not slow i just don't want to listen to their BS and what they have to say because what they have to say doesn't intrest me. So if i go to my hometown , and FACE them in the eyeballs how would i approach them. I'm a VERY good arguer ... I don't put up with Bullshit. I want ppl in my life that care not ppl in my life that don't care . And TALK behind my back. I'm the type that will confront you and say "hey listen here your saying shit you better keep your mouth shut" I don't need that i want to be better than them. I spoke to my dad the other day and told him i'm not going around for awhile and he said WHAT? That kinda got him upset. I'm grown now. I need my space you know. How do you say NO? politely. Theres no nice way is there? I'm sorry but i have to work and i have so many assignmnts to do right now ... i have an exam in 12 hrs that i have to stay up and read. LMAO it hurts knowing your own family is the way they are .
My grandpa used to always ask us if we were still "fottin' around the house" when we were teenagers. He wanted us to work or at least go to school, but what can you do when you're 15? He always treated us like we never did anything with ourselves or tried, but I begged my dad to let me work when I was 15 and he said no. He wouldn't let me go to school either. I have a job now and things are better. I can hold my head up now. But the whole family still gives my sister shit because she's not working right now. I guess they always blamed us for being pathetic, when for a long time it was out of our hands. I don't think they have high hopes for us. But it's ok. I've made friends that are better family than they are.
