i'm exactly what i told myself i'd never be..

i am, and do everything i told myself i would never do... back when i had morals.

okay.. back when i was like 9 (i was very smart, except inexperienced).. good age. i was raised well.. i knew what i wanted, i knew exactly what i wanted to be, or didnt want to be..

then when i reached the age of 13 or something,, i guess my rebellious years..
i started to go into this phase, and i just did the opposite of everything i never wanted to be.. -- thing is... i was trying.

that stuck with me for a few years... now i really am what i was trying to be.
and now i dont even want to be this anymore. its sickening me.

so.. i really just have to become what i already was....

does this make sense... lol

 

If your aspiriation is to be a porn queen, I am totally onboard with that.

 

yeah pretty much the same thing happened to me. I've done so much I said I would never do and my morals basically went out the window.

 

Maybe THAT'S why I liked ya!

 

^^ morals suck anyways


this is a tough one
live with it.
you can change if you really want to.

 

Have you ever heard of something like 'disorder in puberty'?
what you wrote makes sense to me.
basically it is about a person's brain being unbalanced and a little bit chaos during teenage due to the rapid growth that changes you from a child to an aduld.it is those chemicals and hormones that matters.

any clues?

 

It's never too late to change for the better. Just keep that in mind!

I wish you the best.

 

you lost me

 

Arch I feel exactly the same why
I hate who I have become
and wish I was who I used to be
Morals brought kind of balence to my life
But now its chaos sigh

 

You'll figure out what you want to be some day...

 

Morals in this country are fucked. Pleasure is seen as bad. Having sex is seen as bad, drugs are seen as bad, its bullshit. As long as you're not hurting others then your morals are 100% good.

 

nobody ends up being who they wanted or what they wanted out of life.... make a list of short term and long term goals

 

When I was about your age I had the same feeling. Gradually it worked itself out and I became the person I wanted to be again. At some point you just say to yourself this is enough. I've had it with being this way and I'm going to change. You're still young so it's not too late.