Facing Community As deeply as you face the ones you live with, You will face yourself. And as deeply as you face yourself, you face those you live with, and meet. When this comes to community the same truth applies. The ByLaws of the community apply to ALL members. No one, should be above the Bylaws. When communications break down, Selfishness, miss understandings, and blame are just three thorns that seem ever constant. Often these are directed outside of the individual, by the individual. When in fact they may need to be considered from within the individual. When we are driven by the emotions, and the fears we hold inside, we often develop a blind spot to our own ability to see clearly what is. Then what we hold onto as our own inner truth becomes subjective through your own ears of perception. We are not responsible for someone else’s actions, But we are responsible, and accountable for our own perception, actions, and reactions. That is why communication is so vital to the life of the community As an example; Knowing we are responsible for our reactions, How would you react if someone in the community told, you, you were the problem. And they hoped you would leave, and not close the door with bitterness, because they were chosen to stay. Words picking at the doubts, you carried inside. To try, and defend yourself, you are told you brought this on yourself. And what if beyond the reactions, and emotions you face the truth, and find they are right, and you did bring this lesson on yourself, and on those close to you. Could you hear without getting emotionally sucked into the drama. Would community be more important to you, than your own selfishness, and desire to stay? Could, or would you change? In Facing yourself, you discover who you are. In this knowing, you will also need to ask what type of community is right for you, or are you right for them. Maybe you are not even community material no matter how much you want to be. Your flaws, and weakness, your strengths, and abilities, and the power of communication will ask you to see in, and beyond yourself, to grow in, and beyond yourself. To become rigid, stubborn, seeing only your way, and stagnate, you all loose. To not see beyond your blind spot, or excuses does not make the truth go away. So in facing community ask some basic questions; 1. What baggage is coming with me? 2. Am I willing to abide by the by laws? 3. At what cost do you want peace? 4. Are you willing to communicate with respect, and the whole truth, not just your perception of what you believe is truth? 5. What stirs your heart, and fire within you? 6. What is your vision for you, and you in the community? 7. What addictions, emotional or substance, rules you? 8. What do you find truth in, believe in, and reach for? Is this what the community is about? Then define truth. 9. What does love, and family mean to you? 10. What role does the community (not individuals) want you to be a part of? There are no free rides in a community. 11. Are you speaking what you are living, or only wallowing behind walls wanting, with two sides to your intent? 12. Do you think you are above the bylaws, or are you willing to embrace them for the building of a dream? Without like minds, many attempts fall by the roadside. While we are asking inside why, maybe we ought to be asking a different question. Did we see the whole truth for what it was, or did we live with to many excuses, and blind spots? Were we willing to face our self as deeply as we asked the community to face us? Sometimes we are so busy, and loud at wanting to be heard....we forget to listen.
Old Crone I was in that position of being called on my emotional baggage while at Twin Oaks. I managed the Hammocks Business for 4 yrs, worked 70 hr weeks, did alot of the work myself. I acted out emotionally & did get called on my stuff, I spend many hours with a therapist, whom led me to see my growth edges. I also learned alot about embracing the soultion and not the problem. Conflict resolution also aided me in determining that I was responsible for my actions, not to blame or shame anyone else. I know that others mirror me, I am willing to see my part in every situation and be responsible for the role I play. Thank you. I have lived communally now for 12 yrs. I am wanting to check out more communities that are not listed on www.ic.org, where I can find by word of mouth. I have talked with Old Wolf now over several emails. I am hoping I will settle somewhere. I am a very lucid dreamer, most of my night excursions seem as real as this reality. I hear trees talk to me, I have this knowing-ness of many things. I hear myself talking to people and wonder who is doing the talking, knowing it is me yet, where is all of it coming from? I know I am divinity within and I believe we all have Gifts. Anyway, I would like to hear more about community from you. I lived at Lama Foundation, Twin Oaks, Earthaven, Enota and Sunrise Ranch. Namaste sister Kenric aka Dragonwolf Wizard
My advice is to find a community that has no laws. Anytime someone tries to limit another than bad things will come of it
It is strange that people think that all rules are to limit...this is their perception and not reality Rules in community are made up to protect the community. Any one individual can move on should they find that where the group goes they do not wish to follow - the community cannot. When a group of people come together they are going to have differing parameters - ...See things differently - this is a fact - thank god for the differences ! the "rules" are the agreement of the many on how they wish to interact - just that simple And you my friends will come to find that there is no such thing as a group of people beyond say 3>7 who can live and love together without some sort of agreement on how they will govern disagreement .. and disagreement are very often the way we learn and grow. So before you put down what others have come to find was/is necessary - walk it, not just talk it ...and you will come to better understandings of how groups interact. Blessings Be along the Way Ahh the lessons we draw to us Namaste
Thank you all for your thoughts, and comments. Community offers a vision for wholeness that embraces us, reminding us about connections. As much as we are alone, we are also connected. Takes me back to the farm I grew up on. One day the Rooster crowed, and told the cow he was more important than the cow could ever be. The cow replied, yes, but at least I am more valued than the pig. The pig said he was more than the thing called a garden in what he brought to the table. The garden replied that he was more important than the trees in the orchard. The fruit trees grew silent for a season, and then agreed, and asked what they were all working for. None could answer. So the fruit trees went wild, and wormy, becoming self serving. The garden grew more weeds than vegetables. The pig grew lazy, and died. The cows milk went sour, and spoiled the cow. The rooster held his gifts inside. The farmer stood at the end of the long gravel drive, and pounded in a for sale sign. In the end all that could have been was lost, because respect turned to judgments of worthiness. Love for each other became selfish. And the vision was lost. We can bemoan what once was, or be the victims as long as we so choose. What we do to our self is as individual as it is shared. These things become evident in community. Community becomes a collective reality. When the whole is not grown with gratitude, and balance, any labors will turn resentful, or full of doubts. Thus the need for by laws, and a group consensus. When we allow the ego to rule, and the emotions to get out of control we will forget our intent, and purpose, our reason for being. This starts with taking care of our own inner baggage first. Often we forget what family means. This is part of the community awareness. So Dragonwolf, in response to wanting to hear more from me about community. What I have learned for myself is that until we can heal our self, and walk in vulnerability, and wholeness within our self, without fear, we will bring about separations, not like mindedness toward one goal. We are spirits having a human experience, and asking how to get along. Not everyone is right for community. Not every community is right for the individual. This does not make one less, or more, or greater than the other. We need the diversity to grow in balance, and trust. The bottom line is without respect, commitment, wholeness, communication, shared labors, and understanding, we are no more than the farm gone fallow. We must choose from within what we will give our energies too. But until we know who we are, and what we are capable of being, will we ever realize our core path in spirit is sometimes far different than the life path we move into. This too is so with community. Maybe this is in part why many new communities get lost, or loose their way. Many want to believe that if they find a community they will be saved from facing their own burdens inside. In reality what community does is shine this light far more brightly. When the honeymoon is over one must open their eyes, and pray to the gods that truth, not fright, or humor has faced them in the darkness. Until we face, and live within our own inner community, how will we ever face, and live in a community outside of us. For in truth this is the beginning of one goal with many facets coming together named and called community.
