SEnd your best Chuck norris jokes because i'm to lazy to surf for them. Chuck Norris blows bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris once ate an oak tree and pooped out 200,000,000 tooth picks. Just to show his superiority he ate the tooh picks and pooped out an oak tree. Chuck Norris's sperm are the size of eels.
1. when chuck norris jumps in the water he doesn't get wet, wet gets chuck norris. 2.in an average living room there are about 1242 objects which chuck could use to kill you with, including the room itself. 3.the best part of waking up is not folgers in your cup, but knowing that chuck norris didn't kill you in your sleep. i have tons more
chuck norris defines love as a reluctance to murder, if you're still living it means chuck norris loves you. when chuck norris donates blood he declines the use of a needle and instead request and hand gun and a bucket
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. And when he does sleep its in a hard chair for 15 min. while having sex with 6 playmates He doesn't need to eat....he feeds off of his own badassness
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back to the time before there was time. When he arrived there were 999 other Chuck's there. They soon decided there could be only one and 1,000 simultaneous roundhouse kicks created the big bang.
When Chuck Norris farts, it's actually a morse code to his Delta Force buddies to aid him in choosing which beard coloring dye he'll use for this year's Oscars
Chuck Norris sold his soul once but when Satan tried to claim it Chuck fucked Satan's Girl in front of him punched him in the nose and was back on earth 30 seconds later, Satan just stood there shaking his head cause he shoulda known better.
Another Chuck versus Satan one. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. And a couple more of my favourites. Chuck versus his girlfreind. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. Chuck versus Oswald Lee H Oswald never actually shot JFK. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck versus Aids sufferers. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. Chuck versus Darwin There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck versus pirates. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Jesus' B-day is'nt really on the 25th, Chuck gave him a card with the wrong day on it and Jesus just could'nt bring himself to tell him.
the sun once challenged chuck norris to a staring contest, 15 minutes into the staring contest the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris and Mr T walked into a bar. The building immediately collapsed as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. also, check this out, you may find it amusing. http://youtube.com/watch?v=l8k3uGzgZIs
