I've been seeing this guy for about 6-8 months. Along the time I've found out we're actually quite toxic being together... Abusive at times.. And I can't get those thoughts out of my head, remembering those things, and just the way he treats me I can't stand anymore.. One that really trips me out is every time I go to leave him he threatens me with sending naked pictures of me to my parents, or calling the police on me or something really ate up and ignorant. I've gotten to the point that I know he wont. Its just every time I go to leave him he starts talking about suicide now. I know I'm pretty much the only thing in his life aside from his dog, a pet website, and his sister and her kids. Hes just now finally getting a job again. And I just can't stand to be with him anymore. I don't love him, I don't like a thing about him, his attitude, hes not funny. I don't understand what I liked in him. I don't know what to do. He makes me feel sorry for him and then its like I'm stuck again until I get the balls to say it again.
if all his threats are empty then why do you believe the suicide threats? leave the asshole. odds are he'll be just fine, and if not you were most likely not the real problem anyway
Never let pity for another person keep you stuck in a harmful, unhappy relationship. It sounds like he has a shitty personality, something you won't be able to change. I think you need to get out of the relationship now before you get sucked in even furthur, which you inevitably will be with each passing day you stay in this parasitic relationship. He's a big boy. He'll live. I went through something very similar last year. He had nothing but his shitty trailor and a past of abuse to haunt him. He was set on being miserable, and after a while I realized that no matter how much of my time and heart I invested in him, nothing was going to change for the better until he made that decision. When I broke up with him he cried for two days straight threatening suicide constantly. I stayed by his side the whole time. After his two day hissy fit his head seemed to clear, and he was able to rationally express his thoughts and fears more honestly than I had ever heard him speak. That didn't make me get back with him, but it made it easier to separate. It's been over a year and this guy who was not so long ago sobbing at my feet is being more productive than ever! The only reason you should stay in a relationship is genuine care, love and interest. Things like fear and pity will only make you a player in his sad, sick game. Get out..and if you want to try to help him, do it from a safe distance, like friendship. Good luck.
if you have access to his computer, get on and delete the pictures of you - nothign else, just the nudes of you and break up with him if you dont ahvea ccess to his computer, just break up with him... if your parents get pics then theyll know hes a despicable piece of human waste as well
Shitty, So I'm almost 20 years old and going to be runnin after the mail like I just got all F's, my parents never cared about that tho haha. Alright I can DO IT! lol Well, I haven't taken back what I said to him last night about breaking up. I can't access his computer saddly, Luckily, I'm not underager or anything really ate up so naked pictures wont be as bad. It just really ticks me off. Sometime you do for someone like that and they go and do that. YYYYYYYeaaaaaaah. Next time I do that for someone I'm going to make sure I'm married to them lol. This is just horrible I seriously feel sorry for him. I told him I'd stick by him but he says more crap about suicide. And then about how hes going to go get some smack. He was addicted to H for years, only smoked it never injected. He threatens me with that and tells me I've ruined his life. Okay, First of all I don't live with him, I don't pay his bills or anything of the sort. Only thing we have together is what was a relationship, a very, very horrible one. I just can't be with someone whos said the things to me he has. Sorry not my idea of a relationship. Someone calling you a piece of shit when you've put yourself on he line, your mental status.. For them. That kind of crap can really harm someone and I don't want to deal with that in my head. Its just wrong.
I was with someone who said they would tell my grandparents I smoke pot if I broke up with them. They never told my grandparents... Dump him. He sounds abusive and it just gets worse the more you put up with it.
There comes a point where even after all you've done to save someone from their problems, the best thing you can do is let them save themself from their problems. It's his life, and he is the only one that can live it. I understand how you want to stay in a toxic situation to help another, but sometimes it's best to let go and move on. Take back your life, if that is what you feel is right. I wish you the best.
yeah i would just get rid of him. Maybe get a restrainging order. This guy is crazy and if you dont get out now things are just going to get worse. Who cares if he makes you feel guilty. My boyfriend and i will get in a fight or he'll want something that i wont give to him so he'll make me feel guilty for not doing it so i just do it anyways. But serisouly just say no and move on with your life. You will feel so much better.
I want to so badly. Honestly, I want to go out have fun with my friends and not have to answer to him constantly or worry about him getting mad at me when I'm out, calling me starting a huge fight. I can't stand him, I was talking to him the other day and I got this sick feeling in my stomach. He doesn't even do it for me anymore. You all are correct, I gotta leave it for good. Thank you guys! Thanx for all your help and advice!
as someone who has spent a number of years trapped in an escalating abusive relationship I advice you to leave now. I am finally out, and regret how many years I suffered. he has "no one else in his life" because he is overly dependant on you...if you continue in this relationship he will isolate you from your friends, family, parents, the outside world, and your own self identity. it's hard, you feel like the bad guy because he plays emotional guilt trips on you, threatening suicide, etc. you must get out, and you might want to get some counselling or call a domestic violence hotline to get some help understanding how the dynamics of an abusive relationship effect your self-esteem and just your general headspace. a restraining order might be a necessary procaution as well. this guy could get violent or begin stalking and threatening you. don't let that keep you in the relationship. you must get out and get away now, good luck to you.
Well, Thank you all for your wonderful replies. I left him couldn't take it anymore. He has isolated me from my friends. Only thing i've really been able to do over the summer is be with my family, or go to work.. unless im not with him. Thankfully I don't live with him or anything of the sort. He was just always up my ass. When I finally told him how I felt he told me I was liar and why don't I tell him the real truth. Except one thing, I was telling the truth, and thats how I truely felt. He just didn't want to hear it because hes an over controling ass hole, who things he can get over on me. He tells me how I'm the most beautiful woman hes been with. Whatever, Theres pleanty of beautiful people out there. Besides that, As I started losing interest in him because of how he was treating me I started talking to my friend who is in Iraq right now. Hes always online.. only one I really had access to talk to. I am very happy tho to not have to answer constantly to him. He expects me to be his friend but I don't think I'll be able to. I tried talking to him on a friend basis last night to see if hes okay and he became a the biggest ass hole but I told him why I did what I did. He said I stringged him along. I did but you know what I was SCARED. He threatened me with the police, he threatened me with taking my photos making a website out of them and posting them all over my college and calling me a pornstar. So its easy to understand why I left, why I lost feelings for him, and why I was scared. Its bull shit honestly, Why treat someone like that?? Why drag someone in your own self hate. Not me, I love myself. No matter what, Mentally, Or Phsyically, ABUSIVE IS ABUSIVE. Junkies like their smack, and abusiers like their victims. Don't let them convince you whats not real. You'll get sucked in pretty bad. Then you'll be blaming yourself constantly and turn into someone just like them or worse.
Way to go! Keep your head held high and do not ever look back! I'm always happy to hear of people who empower themselves enough to walk away from an abusive asshole. Continue to be strong and find happiness within yourself before you look for it in another human being. Best of luck in your future!
you should be proud...it isnt ever easy breaking up with someone. Just keep that positive energy (you got plenty of it i can feel it from over here) flowin and look ahead because surely someone will treat you with respect, and the way you deserve. And if they dont, then you shouldnt get involved with someone unless you are sure they will treat you right. Theres plenty of good guys out there, and you are a beautiful young woman who has a lot of awesome qualities inside. You deserve better than this dude..... Happy Trails,
these threats are really a weak way of trying to make you stay..... he doesnt have anything to offere you
