Putting women on a pedestal

Everyone says it is bad to do this.

I have only done it to women I never got to know that well.

Is it ok to do this to a woman if you are in a relationships with them?

Would you normally only think this way about a woman you don't know well since you would know too many faults about her if you were in a relationship with her?

What is the difference between describing a woman as "amazing" and putting her up on a pedestal?

 

The fear is that is you "put a woman on a pedestal", you will spoil her.
Make her more materialistic.
Make her "high maintenance"
And she won't do things for you like she used to.

I've done it, and I've seen it. Much of what I stated above came true in my case.

 

not every woman will respond to admiration by becoming a spoiled harpy. personally, i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, as long as you don't try to keep her confined on the pedestal in some way. every woman has to be allowed to be her own unique self. if you idealize a woman and then criticize or express disappointment everytime she says or does something that doesn't fit with your ideal of her, that's no good. she's human, she needs to breathe.

 

if they are deserving put them up as high as you can.

 

hmmm...I know in my experience the better I am treated the greater my desire is to please. If I am becoming too high matinence or lazy in the relationship though i would def want my partner to tell me and help me be a better person for him. I have my selfish moments for sure, but if I was being selfish ingeneral and it was starting to become a theme in the relationship I would be very upset and embarassed at my behavior.

My fiancee has really spoiled me and treats me very well and it has made me less materialistic because A-it would break my heart to think he thought I was taking advantage of his genorosity and B-He loves me unconditionaly, which makes me secure and not feel the need to have 'stuff'.

 

Its a fine line. If you "put them on a pedestal"(think they are always right, do whatever they want all the time, don't stand up for yourself) a woman will lose her respect for you and the relationship will deteriate in time. Women don't want to be with a pushover. If you don't ever show her that she is special and you care the same thing will happen. Like most things in life, balance is the key.

 

If this was what was meant by 'putting women on a pedestal' then my response was wrong. I have been in relationships like that before and I was miserable. And in reality how can someone really love you when they allow you to think you are right if your opinion or actions are hurting yourself or the relationship?
The rest of what you said is dead on! Nice to know my fiancee's not the only intuitive guy left on this planet! I felt bad for claiming the last good one!

 

I try not to hold anyone on a pedetsal. I feel as though that is the first step to having unrealistic expectations of someone. Don't get me wrong, like that ol' Fatboy Slim song, I try to "praise her like I should" all the time.

 

Sometimes, having higher expectations for others ultimatley helps them because the higher standard will normally cause them to shoot higher.

 

Sometimes. Very true.

Other times it leads to feeling betrayed, frusterated and ultimately resentful. My only expectation is being treated with respect and this is more of an understanding then an expecation: either you treat me with the respect that I treat you, or you can EXPECT me to say go fuck yourself

I would be lying if I said past experiences are not the reason for my feeling the way that I do. But the only person I have high expectations for is me.

 

Do you expect who you are with to respect themselves as equally as they respect you? I know a lot of guys think that they should be treated with respect if they treat their partner with respect, but sometimes people have a hard time respecting others if they don't respect themselves so the easiest way to get respect in this instance may be to make the priority that she respects herself and acts in a respectful way in general. Eventually she'll respect you for caring enough about her to make her respect herself, rather than giving you false respect because she is afraid you'll leave her.

I could be wrong and just be making generalizations about how others feel from the way I feel though. So I apologize if I am doing that!

 

Hmm.. admittedly, I have never really thought of it like that No need to apologize, Bella, whether we agree 100% or not, it's all good

I do agree with you about respect though. I certainly think without respect for one's self, it's pretty damn hard to respect anyone or anything else. The same could be said for love.

I guess what I am having a hard time with is:

"Eventually she'll respect you for caring enough about her to make her respect herself......"

It's not that I think you're wrong, it's just a very new concept to me. I never considered trying to make someone respect themselves.

 

to me, putting them on a pedestal means that you refues to acknowledge their faults. it also creates these huge unrealistic expectations of your partner and thats completely unfair

its so different from treating them with respect.. its refusing to allow them to be human, to be a real person faults and all

 

Try it next time you meet a girl you want something longterm with. I bet not only will she respect you , but you'll be her hero for teaching her how to respect herself.
HUGS

 

whats the point in putting a women on a pedestal? that shit is stupid, and shes gonna fuck some other dick... most women dont even think they deserve to be treated like that... I treat my gurl like she's one of my homies... no different excpet for the fact that were in love...

I can gurantee you if you treat your lady like an angel, shes gonna fuck the next dick... mark my fuckin words...

 

put your lover on a pedastool, more like it I worship my fiance when I'm not mad at him... lol

 

girl I got you on that. He may not be perfect but he rocks my fuckin boat!!!!!!

 

what's wrong with a pushover? i love a guy who's a pushover cuz i can push him over and have my way with him.

 

Fuckin A

if i did it any other way my mother would somehow find out and hurt me.
lol

 

fuck yea. lay back and let me ride it a man needs to be told