Long distance 'relationship'

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Pirate24, Sep 9, 2004.

  1. Pirate24

    Pirate24 Banned

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    What do you do when a girl writes crap like "I've been thinking of you lately" "Love you" but is more keen to study in a better college than a decent one near you so that the both of you can be together. Of course she gets guilty when you ask her why she does this and she doesn't give any sensible answer.

    Should I ditch her?
     
  2. Julia

    Julia Member

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    She's taking you for a ride and probably likes the attention. Ditch her.
     
  3. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

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    It's up to you, if you want to make things work but you think she doesnt, then there's no other option.
     
  4. beautifulhippie2

    beautifulhippie2 TyeDyeChicka!

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    I AGREE! Exactly! Some people just do it for the ride!



     
  5. ArtistofPeace

    ArtistofPeace Senior Member

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    For your own peace of mind, I'd say ditch her. But at the same time...maybe she's torn herself, where she wants to go to that particular college, but she's thinking to herself how much she really misses and loves you. I don't know.


    As far as long distance relationships go...they can work. How far apart are you two?
     
  6. cutelildeadbear

    cutelildeadbear Hip Forums Gym Rat

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    You sound selfish, and she deserves better than that. You should be happy that she is in a good school getting a good education and taking care of herself. Only an idiot would give up thier life to please another, and only a jerk would expect someone to give up their dreams and goals, just so you don't have to be alone for a few semesters.

    Yeah I know I'm harsh, but I call em like I see em. My boyfriend would never in a billion years ask me to give up something that was important to me in order to be with him or please him. That is not love.

    Maybe the best thing for you to do is move on without her. If she is the one you should be with, it will happen. If not, she will have the education and experiences she deserves.
     
  7. akhc

    akhc Member

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    and why should she give up her future for u? it doesn't sound like u have her best interests at heart. u should be glad she's getting every chance of making the best of herself.
     
  8. wvhipster

    wvhipster Member

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    I would have to agree. When I first tried to go to college I made the mistake of changing not so much my goals but my school to stay close to home to be with my girfriend. It was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. Two months into the semester we broke up and then it was all downhill from there. I won't go into details. The lesson I learned from that goes back to a Janis Joplin quote I picked up soon after. "Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." The fact that you would even ask her to stay close to you tells me that you don't really care about what she wants and her feelings as much as your own. That's not love.
     
  9. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

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    That's a great quote. I'll be my motto from now on. Janis rocks!! :)
     
  10. schatzi

    schatzi Member

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    I'm surprised that she hasn't ditched you yet...have some understanding!
     
  11. cutelildeadbear

    cutelildeadbear Hip Forums Gym Rat

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    The sad thing is she probably really does love you and thinks about you often. You should not be making her feel guilty.


    My boyfriend screwed up in school because of his ex. Because he thought that relationship was more important than his education, he missed out on finishing his degree and actually having the experiences he needed from college in order to do what would make him happy now (deciding alone what path he should be on). He has made sure that now while I'm back in college (for the second time) that I don't give up anything I want for him. He is so supportive of me and I love him for it.
     
  12. airforcedrew

    airforcedrew Banned

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    Damn yeah its all kinda harsh, but its all true. I know not to go to school for anyone I love, I did it. Then broke it off with her and was stuck in the same town. Fortunetly, I met my fiancee there, years later. Im glad I moved there but I know it was for the wrong reasons.


    I can relate to you on long distance. Im in the airforce so I get moved around alot. I was in texas for about 7 months. She was in florida then. It worked out well. Im stationed 45 minutes away from her. I wasn't stationed here because of her, but because it was a good assignment and a good career move. But shes gonna be here with me after we get married and then we can travel together. icelands where im trying to go. But anyways. If you love her respect her for where she wants to go. Education is a priority in life now. Long distance relationships are hard, but if you can get through one, then you can deal with about anything in a relationship.
     
  13. joelzkitten

    joelzkitten Member

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    you think thats bad? my boyfriend is on tha other side of the planet! Me in NZ, him in TX... why dont you thank your lucky stars that you can actually touch her more than twice a year :(
     
  14. Ellied

    Ellied Senior Member

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    in my experience, long distance relationships hardly ever work out. xxxxxxxx
     
  15. joelzkitten

    joelzkitten Member

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    mine has worked out for a year and a bit so far..
     
  16. airforcedrew

    airforcedrew Banned

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    Your 15 how involved and serious can this relationship be. Sorry im just somewhat offended by the comparrison. Internet boyfriends don't count.
     
  17. joelzkitten

    joelzkitten Member

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    yes your right. internet boyfriends DONT count. good thing i havent got one of those. well sorry... i didnt mean to go offending anyone, just maybe you should be happy for what you DO have... but if it doesnt work out. im sorry! :)
     
  18. ::TheConcreteGirl::

    ::TheConcreteGirl:: Senior Member

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    I think a long distance relationships that lasts to the point of marriage is one of the few things that can be called REAL LOVE. it takes sacrifice and determination, and a whole lotta trust. Plus it keeps physicalities to a minimum which I think is best. If your REALLY in LOVE with someone, they couild live o the moon and it wouldnt matter.
     

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