how do you guys push yourselves to socialize?-- i just can't !!

i have no confidence. i was depressed for 3 years and i'm trying to get better and i have no desire to be around people. i know i should. any tips on how to get the courage???
jess

 

You're such a young thing.

I am an unrepentant hermit myself, but even I like a little interaction with other people from time to time.

So, it is your lack of self confidence that holds you back? Do you have something physical about yourself that you're not comfortable with? Have you had a bad experience with other people judging you?

My best advice is be yourself. If other people don't like it, thats THEIR problem.

It can be hard at your age to find a place to "fit in". I wouldn't focus on that too much. Young people are like soft lumps of clay. You really haven't assumed the form you're going to take just yet.

Respect other people. Respect their opinions(You don't have to agree with them). But live your life for yourself and not them.

Do you have a talent? This is a good way to open doors for yourself, and elevate your self confidence at the same time.

Good luck.


x

 

i had the same problem. the thing that worked the greatest was to get a job. it doesn't have to be a full time job, just one to get you out there. i used to be so shy, but after working at mcdonald's im doing alright!

 

After a lot of experience with feeling shy and self conscious, I've learned a few things. Maybe you can benefit from some of these tricks I've learned. It's kind of like hacking your brain; sometimes you just have to trick it into being confident.

1. Don't do the caffeine!

The more caffeine you take in, the more you're going to feel shy, or anxious - hence the name, Social Anxiety. This also goes for the use of other stimulants, and anything that makes you feel more jittery than you already are. Remember, the point here is to relax, and feel comfortable socially.

2. Realize that you are who you are.

Hey, people will like you. Others might not. Who cares? All that matters is that YOU like you. The way to bring about confidence, is to just focus on YOUR own feelings. Not somebody else's feelings toward you.

3. Never try to alter the perception of somebody else.

This was a big one for me - the hump was big, but once you make it over, you're probably never going to look back. You need to realize that you can't change the perception of somebody else, towards you. If somebody doesn't like you, you just need to let it go. Overly rectifying the situation will only waste your own energy and make you feel worse.

4. Now, for the best and most effective step of all: Don't sleep!

That's right. I experimented with getting either a lot less sleep than normal [about maybe 4 to 5 hours], or just NO sleep overnight, and the effects on confidence are amazing. And we're talking about me, the guy who used to get red in the face and my heart would beat rapidly if somebody I didn't know entered the room.

Now today, I did this trick and I actually had the confidence to apply for a job, and put on a good, talkative personality for the manager... and this is something I could NEVER in a million years even dream of doing before. Somehow, it sorta tricks your mind because you're not obsessing with these thoughts of anxiety anymore, you're probably more worried about getting some sleep [lol!].

So all in all, hey - give it a try. You just might have some luck, no matter what it is you're trying to accomplish. All in all, have fun, and live the way you want to live, fuck the haters

Good luck

 

its true you just gotta go out and say fuck it.

there are a LOT of fucked up people out there, but you will meet some cool people if you say fuck it and just go be yourself.

just step out. ^fuck the haters^

 

consistant physical exercise of any kind, passionate study of any subject (i would suggest something complex, unique, or spiritual), taking in high quality, healthy food, learning any sort of exercise that will improve the quality of your breathing, etc.

some things to help ease you in to the social world: get used to asking strangers what time it is while making eye contact. call some government office or bus station and ask detailed questions with full confidence in your voice. if you ever do something embarassing in public, laugh. it's funny to you too, because you're a badass and you don't take things like that too seriously.

physical health
complex mind
comfort with eye contact

hope that helps, and you should remember that most of the people you're intimidated by are intimidated by others, and so on. if you're interested in actions that would help you build "personal power", check into the books by carlos castaneda-i would start with tales of power. i hope this helps, man.