I'm stressed about my girl. I don't get it.

We have been together for 2 years. When we first started having sex, she claimed that she was not having orgasms , but that she had them in her past relationship. She's not the type to give up information easily . I have to pry it out of her . Anyways after she saw that I was concerned about this issue, her story started to change. Now she was having orgasms , but I know she's not. I can't tell when she's not being truthfull and there are no physical signs.

It's weird. No matter what I do , oral, finger, clit etc, she does not get wet. Her clit does not grow in size, she does not break a sweat, nothing. She just kinda giggles when I move directly onto the clit and its sooo annoying.

Anyone experience this? I've had plenty of past relationships where the girls are so into it. wet as hell etc. I can't be THAT bad that she does not even get wet ? WTF

STRESSED@!

djn

 

hon I don't think that it is you, it sounds like it is just her for some reason. can she get off on her own? ask her to masturbate in front of you or something so you can see how she does it. bring in a third person perhaps. i don't know. just suggestions.

 

THis also fruterates me. She will not masturbate . We have talked about it time after time and she says she can't. She says her mother told her it was bad and to never do it. (I dont believe this would stop anyone) and also that in her past relationship, her ex used to make fun of her and call her names when she touched herself. If I ever see him, he's dead btw.

It drives me crazy! I don't see why thoes two things would stop her from trying it.

i'm so unhappy.

djn

 

damn. I don't know. At the risk of sounding Freudian... If she was made fun of by her ex for touching herself then her not being able to come might be the result of some sort of guilt complex from being sexually repressed and made to feel ashamed of it in the past.

 

maybe just have a night, of not going out specifically to get her to orgasm, but just fooling around..really pump up the foreplay thing and try so many different things until you do work it out. Does watching porn get her going? Sometims that can be a real turn on. Sit down and ask her what she likes. I know she doesnt masturbate or anything, but most women at some point have fantasized about things they want done to them. Also a bit of warming lube can get it all moving..lol I dunno, I wish you luck with it.

 

poor girl, imagine being told you couldn't touch yourself :O shock! anyways, advice:

i think you should ask her about it (i know the whole getting information out of her is hard, my gf is like that too XD) or perhaps, just go to bed, and mess around and enjoy her body, hug, kiss, and just touch her all over make her feel that it is not wrong to do these kinds of things, as she may be sexually repressed. dunno if that helped much :/

 

Since the last time I posted we have has sex 3 times with no improvment. When i touch her clit with fingers or tounge, she giggles and laughs and sqwirms . how the hell can i get anywhere when she does that.

sign

 

i had one girlfriend that did not seem to have any sensitivity whatsoever, and I don't think it was a mental thing. Kind of took the fun out of doing things to her as it really didn't do much for her.

She was the only girl out of many that I have been with like that, maybe she is just sort of numb.

Girls vary so much sexually

 

x

 

I don't want to sound like a know it all or anything, but I do believe that her mother telling her when she was younger that masturbation is bad, could very easily stop her from wanting to try it. If that kind of shame was drilled into her, and then she overcame it to masturbate in front of a past boyfriend and he ridiculed her, I think it's very easy to see why she doesn't want to. Maybe you could try turning off all of the lights, and just (if she's willing) put your hand on hers while she masturbates. Or you could ask if she'd be ok with using a gentle vibrator?

As for your original post, I agree with some of the other posters. Go slow. If you're only getting giggles when you touch her clit, it may be too sensitive. Try to warm her up other ways first. So often guys think that we want them to go down immediately, but for a lot of girls, it's way too sensitive at first. Start with lots of kisses and non sexual caresses. Maybe some sexy talk.

I think the main thing is, don't make an orgasm (yours or hers) your goal. Too often sex seems to be a race for the finish line. I'm not saying that the prize isn't incredible, but just enjoy the moment you're in, and let her try to do the same, and see where it takes you. Good luck!

 

I have to agree with Mrs. H. When my wife was younger and had not had any kids she would get really, really wet from the slightest sexual touch. Kissing etc... I can't remember ever touching her pussy, until a certain point, where she was not dripping wet. I used to call her "leaky" joking around.

Now, she's had two kids and it's usually kind of dry at first and a little wet if we start kissing and touching. If I don't go down on her, we usually need lube. If we fool around long enough.....kissing, dry humping etc... she'll usually get wet enough as well. But going down on her always does the trick.

Honestly, it's hard not to be a little insulted by the entire thing (I've gained a little weight and we're both 33) but I do comfort myself knowing that it has more to do with her body changing (we're both 33 and have two kids) than it does with her attraction to me.

 

h is right but in a nut shell it turn on some charm and u know all that bout flowers and romance thing

 

she's had so many negative views when it comes to masturbation, no wonder she can't get aroused! and if she can't masturbate because she doesn't know how or because her mother says it's bad then i doubt she even knows how to masturbate properly or get off...therefore, i don't even think she knows her own body. she proberly even feels dirty when you touch her down there, because of all the bad things she's been told, making her feel even more self-consious and uptight. and the giggling...i can assure that's nervous giggling cos i've done the annoying nervous giggling thing in bed many times before. i think you two need to sit down together and have a serious talk about your sex issues. tell her that there's no need to be scared and that you care about her very much. she needs to hear something positive about masturbation and sex for a change!

 

Hmm good advice SugarS, I agree with you on this.