Am I really that bad at giving head? *discouraged*

Hi everyone. I'm 18 and I just got my first girlfriend, met her at my summer camp job. Everything's going really good, and after a few months of dating, we started having sex.

But I can't make her cum when I go down on her. I'm getting really discouraged, cause I read a lot online and tried everything I could and nothing seems to work. She enjoys sex, but I can't make her orgasm.

I go down on her and lick all over, lick her clit, etc. I spend 30+ minutes down there, sometimes fingering her at the same time (usually not though), and nothing works. She barely even moans or anything after 30 minutes. So I must be doing something terribly wrong. Is it possible that I'm THAT bad at giving head, that after 30-45 minutes of licking she isn't even sort of close to an orgasm? =(

Btw if I can feel her vaginal muscles tightening, does that mean I'm doing a good job of stimulating her? cause towards the end, if i'm fingering her and licking her clit, I can feel the muscles contracting really tight on my finger.

 

try asking her
ask her what feels best, ask if her she can orgasm on her own or if shes never reached orgasm, or never orgasmed from oral sex
ps your age in your profile says 25 not 18

 

I find that it has to be VERY specific, and I think that a lot of girls are like that. It's not that you're bad, it's that you might not be finding those little "specialities" that get a girl over the edge. For instance, I straight up need stimulation of the hood of the clit CONSISTENTLY. "Variety" is nice and feels good, I don't mind a tongue going further south and penetrating me, but when it comes time to actually come, I need prolonged clit stimulation, in the same spot, uninterrupted. Any deviation after a certain point kills it instantly and makes me go back to ground zero. And if my boyfriend is spending his energy fingering me, it makes him work on my clit with less intensity, which is just frustrating.
So, something to try that worked for me is to spend less time, as you said, "all over," and pay a lot of extra attention to the clit. Try licking it from the top, at the hood, and exerting pressure downward. Don't just try it for a few seconds, either; really work at it until it's getting discouraging. If that does absolutely nothing, try gently pushing the hood back and actually tongueing the head of the clit itself, which is pretty much guaranteed to get some reaction. What may help (because it is REALLY, REALLY intense) is to take it into your mouth and suck on it. Don't feel like you're limited to just lapping away, taking the clit actually in feels freaking amazing. Stay on the clit until it finally gets intense enough for her to give some response, glean encouragement from that, and then, for heaven's sake, DON'T STOP what is making her moan. Contrary to popular belief, women can in fact get a sort of "blue balls," and it is unpleasant.

 

when you feel her muscles tighten, that is a good time to LIGHTLY suck on her clit like the previous pster was saying. That will get her over the top but beware it is very intense for them so i would be gentle when sucking her clit. finger + tongue action usually drives most woman wild....but you will be able to tell how she feels by her breathing patterns (she will breathe heavy when she gets aroused) and also muscle contractions. Although woman can actually control their vaginal muscles and contract them to "fake" orgasm, but it is definitely a good sign. And as far as her not moaning or giving off any kind of response, maybe she just doesnt feel comfortable enough with you yet to really let go. Communication is always good....ask her questions about what she likes because i KNOW this for a fact....all woman are different and each has their own specialties....another reason why woman are some really awesome creatures lol

 

Hey genius! Giving head is what you do to a guy. So unless this chick is packing some extra luggage or something, you better get your terminology straight. Maybe she's turned off by you saying "let me give you some head" and she can't cum.

 

*shudders* i -hate- having my clit sucked on

 

Lots of women don't get off from licking. Try sucking and maybe some gentle nibbling, and not just on her clit.

 

bullshit, i get off on licking... suckling and nibbling on my clit is a turn -off-. every woman is different ysee