a center of spirituality

i am trying to find that center into myself. I cant find it. Never have i ever been that religious, but lately i have been trying to find some kind of spirituality. i am a UU and that is very rare to find a church of or really anything

 

This excerpt has really been clicking for me lately. I'm not sure if it's what you're looking for, but it's what came to mind immediately as I read your post.

On the primordial self, as taken from Ken Wilber's book "Grace and Grit", an exercise in, "Who am I?"

I have a body, but I am not my body. I can see and feel my body, and what can be seen and felt is not the true Seer. My body may be tired or excited, sick or healthy, heavy or light, anxious or calm, but that has nothing to do with my inward I, the Witness. I have a body, but I am not my body.

I have desires, but I am not my desires. I can know my desires, and what can be known is not the true Knower. Desires come and go, floating through my awareness, but they do not affect my inward I, the Witness. I have desires but I am not desires.

I have emotions, but I am not my emotions. I can feel and sense my emotions, and what can be felt and sensed is not the true Feeler. Emotions pass through me, but they do no affect my inward I, the Witness. I have emotions, but I am not emotions.

I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts. I can see and know my thoughts, and what can be known is not the true Knower. Tghoughts come to me and thoughts leave me, but they do not affect my inward I, the witness. I have thoughts but I am not my thoughts.

Then affirm as concretely as you can: I am what remains, a pure center of awareness, an unmoved Witness of all these thoughts, emotions, feelings and sensations.

If you persist at such an exercise, the understanding contained in it will quicken and you might being to notice fundamental changes in your sense of 'self.' For example, you might begin intuiting a deep inward sense of freedom, lightness, release. This source, this center of the cyclone, will retain its lucid stillness even amid the raging winds of anxiety and suffering that might swirl around its center. The discovery of this witnessing center is very much like diving from the calamitous waves on the surface of a stormy ocean to the quiet and secure depths of the bottom. At first you might not get more than a few feet beneath the agitated waves of emotion, but with persistence you may gain the ability to dive fathoms into the quiet depths of your soul, and lying outstretched at the bottom, gaze up in alerted but detached fashion at the turmoil on the surface."

 

Have you ever tried LSD, peyote, or shrooms?

 

yeah. but i want more of a cleansing than of doing drugs. I understand the opening of the mind and becoming one with everything. but i still dont think thats what i need.

 

What you need is certainly in your own heart.

But how to uncover it, that's the question.

Often, the mind's activity itself prevents us from connecting with our own deepest feelings and impulses. But it's deep inside yourself you can find true spirituality.

Myself I find that music helps me connect with my own deeper layers.
Some find various forms of meditation useful.

 

im a very anxious person, i find it very hard to meditate. i think thats my worst problem. and ive never been the religious type. Thats the part of me thats missing. Some faith, some spirituality, ive been christian, penecostal (short-lived), wiccan, pagan, athiest, agnostic, universalist Unitarian, etc, but organized religions arent my kind of thing, maybe i need to take a walk by myself. im a mom, a wife, a buisy woman. I look forward to when i can just lock myself in the bathroom and have me time,. and take a nice hot bath and have complete silence

 

Whatever you find that works for you A soak ina hot bath is very nice


I'm not a religious person either. I have tried various types of meditation - and sometimes I just like to sit quiet and try to be still. But I find I get a deeper connection through music, and also dance. For me it seems to focus things..

I'm not really too interested in explanations about the spirit these days - I think it has much more to do with feeling and intuition than logic or religious philosophies.

If you suffer from anxiety, as I do too at times, relaxation is a good thing. It can be hard to find time if you lead a busy life, but it's important I think that you make time. If you can get free of anxiety, you'll enjoy life more and be able to function better in your situation.

One thing I've learned is that anxiety leads to further anxiety like a self fulfilling prophecy.
Psychologists say it's actually what is called the 'fight or fright' response of the nervous system getting triggered by the wrong cues. There is release of adrenalin, which is meant to help us survive basic biological threats like attack by wild animals by either fighting or running away.

What happens with anxiety is that some perceived threat triggers this response - and then to compound it, anxious thinking and feeling leads to further bio-chemical imbalance.
As I say, I have suffered from anxiety in the past, and from time to time it still gets me, but I've learned to be much more in control and to understand the symptoms. It is a common thing, and I hope you can get over it as many people do. Some time ago I did an anxiety management course which was very helpful for me as it really did help me understand the thing.
I'd be happy to say anything else which might be of help.

 

a lifetime you have to find yourself~

the hobbies you have , and the things that make you happy ... are those things yourself?

will taking a hobby up help you find yourself?

eh, who can answer these things/
who can tell you who you are?


i think , like said earlier, who you are resides in your heart and it is unrevealed by following just that, your heart.

in time you will have a better understanding of your self, i'm sure.
nature helps unreveal that true self, for some people..
for some people, a business does..
a new relationship,
or all of these things..

when youuu find out any answers , share em huh?