something funny i found..... Men Rules

Ladies, see what happens when men begin to think.







At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
guys'
side of the story.



We always hear "The Rules" From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side:

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about
you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let
it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And, no, we are never going to think of it
that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it
done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

actually wanted this in humor though, couldnt delete or move it

 

that was pretty good except for number 1, not all men are the "round shape"

 

Why ruin such great comedies, or tragedies as the case can be? Seriously now, it was for humour's sake, im sure neither side is planning a take over.

 

Bests imo.
Good shit, is there anymore stuff like this cause it looks like you copy pasted out of prolly an email. Not that it matters.

 

Nice fucking list. I want to show my girlfriend..hah.

 

yea got sent to me from a buddy, only 1 I got

 

Thank God I'm gay...

 

I had read it elsewhere before, but it does help prove that males can laugh at ourselves. See if you can find the female rules that go with that one... They are on the web some damned place... LoL.