ok so i've been dating a girl for about 6 months now. well actually only really going out with her for like 3 months but for the other 3 months she had a boyfriend and somehow we ended up having a what i guess you might call an affair cuz i dont know what else to call it right now. in retrospect it was a pretty bad situation for me but i guess whats done is done. now this is the same way she got to be with her previous boyfriend (cheating on the boyfriend before that) and along with that, i know she cheated on her last boyfriend quite a few times from either she herself telling me or me finding out other ways. now i know this is a horrible basis for a relationship but i love her and know she is a good person. before we were actually going out i asked her why she cheated and she said it was because of the attention and shit like that, and i also think she has like self-confidence issues and thats probably a big part of it along with other reasons including reallly wanting to be liked. so a couple questions are, is cheating mainly bad because if you really love and care about the other person you wouldn't do that to them? and also, if she does cheat on me and i do find out about it, what should i do? should i definately break up with her? if so then is it because it shows that she can do anything without me doing something about it? and also if you can cheat with absolutely no way of the other person finding out, should you not on principle or why not? or should you?
There are so many things I can say about this, but lets leave it at this: "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior."
i kissed another guy while i was going out with my boyfriend. The guy wanted me to have sex with him but when he kissed me i pushed him away after two seconds and told him NO because i am in love with my boyfriend and dont want to hurt him even though i already did. If i would have had sex with him i wouldnt be able to look my boyfriend in the eyes and probly would have broke up with him because i would feel like total shit and get really depressed knowing that i hurt someone i love. If she cheats on you then that doesnt neccessarily mean that she doesnt love you but i would break up with her if she had sex with someone else. If yuou break up with her it doesnt show her that she can do anything without you it shows her that your really hurt and you loved her a lot. I made this pact with my boyfriend that if one of us were to cheat we would tell the other one.
I was in that same situation. Except for two and a half years. Don't even bother with it. You don't really love her after only six months, it's just a habit. Her past is gonna sneak up on you and give you a buttload of troubles. You're better off just dumping that baggage overboard now.
I guess that the "past behaviour being the best predictor of the future" normally holds true - BUT it *COULD* of been that there were exceptional reasons why she has cheated on guys in the past. You probably don't know her after 6 months so I'd hang on for the ride if thats what you want but not expect too much out of this in "relationship" terms unless you are both willing to work at it.
Hell yea, i agree completely. Although some people do change permanently, buth 99% of times they dont. My ex left me for someone else, then 1 year later she contacted me again. She wanted me back in her life, i accepted because i missed her a lot. But about 2 weeks later, i realized that she wasnt as great as i thought, and i thought about her a lot less. Maybe she has changed, maybe she just doesnt open up anymore, or maybe what i used to like about her i dont like anymore. Either way, i kinda took the harsh way out. By which i mean, deleted her MSN and not texted her or anything. Without saying a word. I only did this a few days ago, so far ive had no "where are you?" emaisl or anything. It was the right thing to do though, i couldnt help but feel walked all over when i started talking to her again like nothing happened. And also, like the quote, i couldnt help but feel, "Whats to stop her from leaving me again?"
First You are too young to tie yourself down with a girlfriend. She seems to know that about herself. Just get some action and move on. At your age it is normal to be having multiple partners. Keep it up until you are in your 20s. Use a condom and play safe. BS you love her adapter.
