Solo trip tonight!

well now for an attempt at trying to explain what i experienced that night.


alot of the night, i didnt really know what to do. in that i kinda just stood in my room and sat not knowing what to do. i only used the computer to log things here that was all. i wrote alot of things down and drew some things. there was litteraly millions of things to possibly right down, to choose just one, and to have to then try and use language on paper, was quite hard.

i saw some damn straight up amazing things. i just will have so much trouble putting all those things into a peice of literature. for now it time to relax and work together my new perceptions with living. seeing things to such depths has such a profound effect on our minds.

i was lieing in bed, and sat up and saw the carpet. and fucks me, it was like the first time i had ever seen the carpert. the pattern on the carpet gave me the biggest shock, i had noticed it in a way i hadnt noticed for years and years that i have seen it. the carpet was then littered with words, i could actually see words everywhere, and the carpet was slithering, like a snake.

i had alot of visions where i was gone and forgot i had a body, the most amazing was this vision of the psychdelic community just fading up into my mind, i could see many things i cant explain, but as soon as i felt the happynes from it, my peice of shit mind, goes and sees the most disturbing things, of blood and sliceing, i had to stop it so i starred at somthing mindlessy until i forgot about it, otherwise it would have gotten into the loop of bad. tho there was quite alot of the most disturbing things i have ever seen or imagined in my live i could see in my mind.

i wanted to go outside but i waited a few hours cause i knew i just didnt know what i was doing. but when i went, there is no words for the way i saw outside. it was really windy, and i saw this tree, it was blowing and moving so much in the wind. the outer leaves of the tree were melting off and curling around and moving with life. the tree had such stregth and beauty. there is nothing in the world id rather than to see it again. and to be even living to see and experince, but to then experience such superior things and see in such a divine light.

i was outside for quite some time just sitting, the yard took on a completly differnt look. all the trees looked full of life, and were interacting with each other. most amazing thing iv experinced to this day was looking at those trees. it was that amazing.

i had the tv on the whole time, mostly with umm psychadelic colors waving around, like when you play music and it has those visual effects.
but for a time when i was feeling not the best, i played saints row to get my mind on somthing. and holy fuck. the game was completly differnt. it was as if the game had added the most insane best special effects iv ever seen in a game. and it looked complelty real, i knew i was hallucinating, but it looked as if it were just the game and not me it was that real. the game was morphing everywhere. driving down the street just swirled and the trees morped and melted and curled. and the buildings in the distance the tips melted and curled down the screen. it was like a fairy tale world.

i had taken the trip with in mind to think about my life in relation to what i want out of it, mostly in terms of university, or to do an aprentiship.
i fgured a few things out about that.
you cant take acid like some sort of mircale cure, or answer. i was wrong to think i could work out my future or my current conflicting university-aprentiship thing.
No green or red arrows
however with new found light, and experience, and discovery of me, i think that yes it will help. but it will take time.


somtimes i thought i was lying next to dead bodies, and could see them out of the corner of my eyes. whenever i tried to log on here on, the screen kept changing colours, it would take on diffent hues i sapose. the mouse cursor had long trails. i had the tv on for a bit, and some murder shit was on, and the whole atmosphere of the room was like i was there, it was terrible.
there was alot of anxiety i think. i think when my stomach was sore, it was cause i could sort of tell i was sooo tensed up it wasnt funny.

the next day wich was yesterday was surprisingly unpleasant, i hadnt slept all night. today is ok i slept alot. still hasnt got that happynes i got last time the days after. i feel quite differnt indeed.

i wrote some things down i sapose i will share with yous
"holly molly this feels so amazing to write this down on paper i see alot of drawings on the page" (was a blank page)

"everything is melting - tho how so exp..(cant read it) -seems hardly - this is my mind

"whole new paper" - (on a new page)

"tree - incorporate out what happening into the tree - a sclaw - out of - i drew a fucked up tree, and labeled 'knot' for some reason.

"to away for questions"

"what sound it is!" - toes energy

"ok im into the page to deep so im step back"

"squeek grounds you into reality. writing now has centered my attention and wow. i discovered umm, i forget. so says lsd

"defining depths of me, and lsd.
lsd - swish sense of feeling
good to 100000's of things in this even me

"so much to not let loose. damn it i lost it
cat get in cant describe - for the cat - ( i drew a fucked up cat)
"excess lots of energy

"cant write these things down"

well theres a probably a billion things more that i just cant begin to describe, but thats it for now unless i remember some more.
this is all from a single tab. i must say tho it was pretty intense. and the last tabs we got which were considered really good, me and my friends rekon one of these is better than 2 of the others.

in umm conclusion, i wouldnt trip solo again. well not for a long time. not sure if i was really ready for it, but i guess there is no such thing as ready. i wouldnt recomend solo tripping. id rather be exploring the forest during the day, or with some friends.
tho i will say i realised the tripper folk are amazing people. you guys with your postive cheer really just had this clicking feeling in my head. you guys tried to help me, and it meant so much you have no idea.

 

as apart of my report, i will include this msn convo i had which pretty much lasted the whole night, i came to it, every couple hours i think. it was difficult to write. but the girl i am talking to is also on acid, she took half, but took it hours before me. my real name is marcus, tho dont tell anyone.

i include it strictly for scientific purposes , bahaha.

--edit- deleted cause im paranoid.

 

delete

 

Haha, dude you sound seriously fucked up.

 

wow thats fucked up, but it sounds like fun

 

i love tripping alone. i actually prefer tripping alone.

 

my first time might have to be alone so, it doesnt sound too bad.

 

That conversation was so funny. I have yet to try acid. I want to so bad.

 

i tripped at a carnival once, it was the worst experience of my life. i had to get out of there, and i just went to my friends house to chill and listen to music. he had some acid to so we we're talking about how shit should be, and we wish we wrote it down cause the stuff we were saying was pretty crazy stuff.

 

Captain T has issues. Sorry to say. Should hopefully be able to work them out with the input and consultation of close well meaning friends.

hope Captain T is okay.

Let her know that she doesnt need anyone. her mind is all she needs.

 

i tripped again last night. on 1.5 tabs. it was pretty insane, tho cause i tripped on wednesday it wasnt quite as intense. tho it was still insane. it was with me and 2 other friends tripping, and 1 sober driver. we walked alot and drove a little bit. and i had alot of deep realisations and breakthros into alot of things, who i am, how people interact, those sorts of things.

during the peak, it just felt like i was blending into everything. and weird crossed mixed up associations with things. i was really confused and never knew what was happening for the first like 5 hours.

tho i must say the experience was fairly differnt to my previos acid trips. like iv heard that each one is differnt and shit. its pretty insane. i dont know how i can look at anything now, or fit back in with doing what i was doing, after experienceing, and seeing things in the ways i saw them last night.

i should probably mention i had a good trip. this trip opened my eyes alot. even tho it wasnt as intense, strange.

 

Can you go into more details?

 

umm maybe a bit later. i havent had much sleep and am still coming to terms with what happened. its just hard to peice together into words.

i remember chewing some lollies and i remember saying somthing like, i was chewing where i was walking. just very strange blending of things.
we went into mcdonalds and we couldnt stop laughing, just the music that was playing and the atmosphere of the place was soo perculiar, and to order somthing and see the people working, just seeing it that way changes you.
and driving around was just so, 'im here now' seeing things in such clear depth, how things work, just to be in a car, so many things.
for a while i was unable to understand what anyone was saying, even tho i felt like this clear headed feeling, i just had no idea, what we were doing, where we were going, i just had to relax and go with what was happening.
i remember when the sober guy came "j", it was just like he came in and was talkin to him, and then realised he was their and was being sketchy, then standing near him a car like his drove past, and i thought it was him. just weird shit. im like shit theres J.

 

arhh the the fuck. i just looked in the mirror, and heaps of my facial hair is growing white, instead of black. wtf has acid done. haha. but no kidding this is weird, and im not trippin. does acid make your hair white?