New guy would like some opinions...

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by WoodstockDays, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. WoodstockDays

    WoodstockDays Member

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    Hey everybody,
    I am in love with my fiance. I have never been so sure about anything in my life. Recently, well not that recent, I have found out she has been cheating on me. In her words she says we have an open relationship, but i have no intentions of being with anyone else. She claims her intentions were always clear but i have to disagree. I have been agreeing to her sleeping (not sex) with another man because it makes her comfortable. But now the situation has spiralled out of control in my mind and she no longer is affectionate towards me because i get very insecure with the one i love with all my heart. I have talked to her about this and she says she still loves me and she would never leave me.

    I just really dont know how to go about this anymore. I've always thought I would be okay with free love and i absolutely support any who chooses it for i believe it can be a wonderfully freeing experience. It seems like she is just keeping me around for some reason, but not a loving reason.

    If anyone has any encouraging words or a possible solution let me know. There is so much more to say in the situation but I dont have a lot of time to type now. Maybe the rest later. Thanks for reading!

    ~peace & love~
    Woodstock Days


    "breathe easy. think slowly. dream focused."
     
  2. TransAmRocker

    TransAmRocker Member

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    you want an answer? Here it is...


    Get the hell outta dodge!!!!

    dont be with someone who sleeps with someone else. Are you an idiot? Tha part where you say you let her sleep with someone else...that is stupid! She obviously doesn't truly deep down care for you. I have seen many of these relationships. And 99% of the time you will NOT end up together.
     
  3. Allonym

    Allonym cheesecake slut

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    theres nothing wrong with polyamory... im kind of like the op, i see nothing wrong with open relationships or polyamoury as long as both(all) parties are ok with it. and, like the op, i find i vastly prefer monogamy

    my suggestion? find someone who also wants monogamy.... because otherwise itll destroy you
     
  4. dangermoose

    dangermoose Is a daddy

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    You love her, but its obvious she doesnt love you, its hard, it sucks, but she's dragging you along for a ride. she gets comfort and stability from you, and thrill and excitement from this other guy. She's wants her cake and to eat it too, and in the process is denying you of what you want and need. Give her the ultimatum of if it doesnt stop you'll leave, you'll know from her answer whether or not she realyl does love you, or is jsut using you as a fall back person who she knows will always love her.
     
  5. Smokin4Peace

    Smokin4Peace Member

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    There is no need for ultimatums, and since this forum is kind of my safe place I feel I should post for a post that's about me!

    I believe in FREE LOVE, I do not believe in marriage or settling with one person. I surround myself by people that make me a better person. I'm not denying anyone of anything, free will, free love, unfortunately it isn't everyones path. NOBODY is forcing you to be miserable or holding you in this place. I just wanted that to be perfectly clear.
     
  6. pushit

    pushit One jive Motha Fucka

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    ive given up on love and im not even an adult yet. i have nothing encouraging to say. i say its not worth it cuz all ive gotten is the loss.
     
  7. LilaBlue

    LilaBlue Member

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    You need to have a serious talk with her about how you feel. Even if you did agree to certain things in the beginning you, are obviously not comfortable with them anymore. You need to be honest with her and see if she is willing to come to a different agreement regarding your relationship. If she still wants to see others but you don't want to, then you are better off finding someone who has the same relationship goals as you do.
    Free love is great for some people but it isn't for everyone. Don't stay in a situation that makes you miserable just because you love the other person.
     
  8. jneil

    jneil Member

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    That's funny. Just runaway, you'll be happier. There might be a miniscule chance she's not having sex with the guy but I wouldn't count on it.
     
  9. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

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    you called her your fiance... and then she said she doesn't believe in marriage or settling with one person. that's a huge problem.
     
  10. Haid

    Haid Member

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    Then how did you end up with a "fiance" who didn't know you were sleeping with other guys and caught you "cheating"?
     

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