maybe im worng , but My take on it is .....you are free to have sex with others , but you are emtionally faithfull to yer actual partner...
^^ essentially you are free to pursue physical realtionships with others. you can even have emotional realtoinships if its ok with your main partner. you and your main partner can set certain boundaries, ie no to certain people, no to certain activities... it requires a great deal of trust and communiation to pull off from what i can tell
An open relationship is two people who are together but still have other partners. But if the couple are married it would be an open marriage relationship.
i don't see how someone could have an open relationship if they love their partner...in my mind it's still cheating...what do you guys think? if you loved your partner and only them would you need to be physical with someone else?
it's pretty easy, actually. sex does not equal love. i love my husband beyond anything i'd ever hoped to find. ever. i could never have the degree of closeness, trust and friendship that i have with him. but we've both got a different way of looking at sex. i consider sex to be a natural outgrowth of friendship, love and affection. but that doesn't mean that person is my soul mate. it's my way of giving to people i love, of opening up and communicating something i don't know how to speak. for dave, it's just a matter of having nothing but green m&m's for too long and eventually wanting a red one. i think this whole monogamy thing is entirely unnatural and unreasonable. we're not built that way, we get it hammered into our head by the church based societal dogma that has no real foundation in human physiology.
I was with you until you said it's "entirely unnatural and unreasonable." Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't make it abnormal or illogical. Using the "no real foundation in human physiology" argument is the same argument used against homosexual relationships. There are different kinds of love and relationships... as long as everyone is on the same page (and all consenting adults) it's all good. It's a problem when one thinks the relationship is monogamous and the other is cheating. In my opinion it's not cheating if it's within the rules of the personal relationship. What works for some doesn't work for others and vice versa.
and YET, the vast majority of people in marriages will cheat at least ONCE. i've yet to see any marriage where someone didn't cheat at least once. or consider it heavily and have to FIGHT THE URGE so hard. in my relationship, there's none of that struggle. there's none of that pain. and to be honest, we're hardly ever active outside the marriage because we prefer each other's company. i think takin away the taboo kinda kills the "fun."
I hear you... I don't know the vast majority of people in marriages so I couldn't tell ya... It's true that many, many people cheat... but I don't know if it's most people.
I havent had religious dogma hammered into me. I looked into my heart and asked what i felt natural for me personally. I dont feel me and my fiancé are unnatural. It means a lot to us, only making love with eachother. I understand what youre saying and i feel every adults entitled to do whatever they please long as no-ones being hurt, and you can be sure of that. Im just not sure you can generalise and say monogamy is "unnatural" for all human beings. For us, its certainly one of the most natural things in this world
P.s-We dont seem to be fighting any urges, either. I guess we just both view sex in the same way, i.e-It is to show that powerful Love between the two of us...i do not believe it is against "psychology". I really dont think you can analyse the minds of every single person in that way, anyway
do you believe that just for yourself, and maybe others? or for everyone? the first is an all go for me, I don't care what you, or others do, but for me? I draw some boundaries. Some polygamist try and incorporate their beliefs (which is historically noraml for any group trying to press their beliefs onto others) into everyone's psyche, and I think they are wrong there. What is cool for you is not cool for me, and vise verse. and I am a very open minded individual... For some reason, please explain it, but we are different. And I am spiritual, not believing in church doctrine at all, so there you go. Your veiws still do not feel natural for me. I want to be monogomous, and if he ain't lying to me, my partner does as well.
I believe in being in a monogamous marriage with my husband. However like most people I have had sexual relationships with more than one person. The majority of people practice some form of monogamy, while some people practice open relationships. Neither of the two are "wrong" just different. As for as the psychology aspect goes there is merit to be found. Very few people mate for life, and that is the bases for "it's not normal to be momogamous" because most people have had more than one partner in their lifetime. The majority of people practice serial monogamy not "lifetime monogamy." As for an "open relationship" it takes openess, honesty, and lots of compromise. For some people it is a wonderful extension of their love for their partner. Others however find themselves buried in jealousy, bitterness and lies. It all depends on the people involved. I have numerous friends in open relationships, and trust me it works better for some than others. I think it depends largely on why you want an open relationship. To expand your love for other people and share openly would be better than "it's nice to get some strange." Just my opinion though....
