are you afraid of people seeing the real you?

I'm listening to a book "The 4 Directions" and its talking about how all of us pretend to be something that we feel is expected of us, because deep down we don't really believe we are good enough.


Do you ever find yourself doing this?

 

I can't say I've never lied to make somebody like me, but I certainly haven't done it in years. I'm content with myself, I suppose, so I don't feel the need to lie about it anymore.

 

I find at work I'm afraid that people will think "something" about me, it worries me but I dont know what that something is. Just fear that I will be revealed. Mind you, I do behave like myself ... still am funny and caring (less bitchy) but mostly the same.


This book also says that we are just reacting to the fear that our parents (and society) has instilled in us.

I'm not at the part where it tells you the secrets to happiness.

Although I'm sure it has to do with intent.

 

Yeah, at school, I can feel people talking about me, like rumors are being spread, but I haven't been bothered by them in quite some time. If my classmates know an embarassing fact about me, I won't deny it. If it's untrue, I'll probably be a bit exasperated, but I tend to go along with it just for shits and giggles.

I used to be very self-conscious in school. People would call me a dyke, etc, because I'd cut my hair short, once had a mohawk. Now I'm fine about everything and have made myself not care what others thik about me.

 

I think we all keep a piece of ourselves hidden, each with his/her own reason for doing so. We all have our secrets that we want to stay just that. However, if I become close enough to a person, I will tell them in the faith that they can be trusted.

As far as work goes, we're all a bunch of gossips. We've actually discussed the fact that we know we all gossip about each other, but we're all ok with it.

Sounds like an interesting read you have. I wonder if it comes in the written format?

 

Nah... you just be yourself man, that's all that matters... after all.

 

I would never be anything other than who I am, and I really have a hard time respecting people who I do not feel are 100% themselves.

 

sorry it was the 4 agreements based on the same concept as the 4 directions ... aboriginal teachings... here is the link to the book


At work though its not that they are mean or gossipy, its my own insecurities... its really not real its not personal...

 

Ahh....just read an exerpt from the book. I def. see what you mean now...eek. So...insecurities. Yes, I'm one of the unfortunate ones to suffer.

 

I can't imagine anyone not harboring some kind of insecurity about themselves. Just seems like human nature to me; one of the burdens of being a self-conscious animal.

 

no. i'm affraid of people wanting to beat me over the head because of their enculturated prejudicial misperceptions about some obscure aspect or another of who or what they DID perceive me to be.

if people could see the reall furry green spheroid floating in mid air in front of them, they might want to use it for a baseball, but then it would probably get out of their way pretty good instead.

if we could actually see the real each other, all we'd be seeing is something like transparent bubbles or something, and even those, it wouldn't be with our physical eyes we'd be seeing them.

=^^=
.../\...

sure i'm "insecure" about a lot of things, but it isn't my SELF i'm insecure about. i get along with my self just fine. it's other humans and the arbitrary absurdities the dominant culture enculturates them with, that concerns and worries me and causes near constant anxiety, other then when i'm asleep and dreaming.

=^^=
.../\...

 

No , Ive spent my entire life going out of my way to be SURE that I was slightly different than those around me , so I dont try to be what THEY expect me to be. I do hold parts of me back , but its only out of privacy , not because im Trying to be secretive ,or ashamed of anything.
Im not afraid of people....Im just Shy......I have spent nearly all my life round animals instead of humans , so....Im not good at communicating with people.

 

good thread..bit stoned today..
did you all know???
I got 10 split personalities??? :leaving:
I don't seem to be the only one on here,is it???
Tiger

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x94/happytiger_2007/1702.gif?t=1188457624

 

I used to think people were talking about me. I generally don't care, but my boyfriend told me I can be really fake. When I first meet people, I generally act nice as most people do in order to make a good impression...I don't necessarily call it fake. I have a "sitting on my couch with my boyfriend" type of personality-comfort, and a "out in public" personality-friendly. It's just the way I am and I think most people are.

 

In my younger years I would adapt to the people around me and do the things that people I liked would do. In my junior year of high school I realized that I am nothing like any of these people and started to find out who I really am. Now my mentality is a lot like that of Willow Jon (below). Besides the animals part

 

Nope, not at all. People see the real me every day, and yeah, i get stick for it...but the alternative is not living as yourself...my God, i could never do that...false world, surely itd make life a lot more crappy.

Im as open and honest as possible, i think. Sometimes things have to be kept to myself, but then not everyone wants my entire life story anyway. But im ALWAYS ME. Im upfront about what i am

 

I feel this...a lot

The anxiety isnt "near constant" as it was when i was a few years younger...oh, but its still there. I cant see it leaving any time soon

 

i used to always try to be what other people wanted me to be, to survive. i had a tendency, when i was little and super shy, to get beat up. i just pissed people off by existing. but trying to adapt to the people around me just made them angrier. so i stopped. i still piss people off, or wierd them out, but i don't get beat up anymore. sometimes i wish i could pretend for a while to be someone different, so that i could have more friends, but people can TELL when you're trying too hard. so i gave that up. but it does still make me sad sometimes that i can't fit in. and people don't seem to understand that i'm not going to be the same person every day. i change so much from day to day, then change back again, that some people are just terrified of me. but the people who love me love that about me. it's exhiliarating for them, expecially dave. it's like being married to a different woman every day, with a few core items that are stable.

but i do wish i could tamp it down a bit. that'd be nice.

 

I'm willing to bet the "secret" is something along the lines of not placing so much stock in what other people think. We waste so much time and emotional energy conforming to an often imagined standard because 1- the folks we worry so much about making an impression for aren't likely to be paying attention and 2- if they actually are paying attention, do we really want to give someone who has no reason to care about the outcome of our lives the power to control how we live them.

 

I think most people feel inadequate. I still do often. Not nearly as much as I used to. I think the more time I have on the planet, the more comfortable I feel in my skin.

I'm shooting for a major ephinany when I hit 26 or so.