Hello I am new here, well I’m going to go ahead and introduce myself. I live in Miami, and I am very confused I have a girlfriend of two years which I am very much in love with. Which only make matters worse. Because I know that I am gay. The thought of it really makes a bit loose in the stomach because I honestly don't want to be. All of my life I have deeply tried to stop looking at guys and think of girls when I masturbate etc etc. but in 20 years everything has failed. I knew i was gay ever since i was young i have always thought of men as more beautiful. I think women are great and love them but honestly am not fully attracted to them. i have only been questioned about twice my entire life on my sexuality but quickly set the person straight. to tell you the truth, I am scared I am REALLY scared, and that is why I am here I just need this secret which I have held all of my life out which is why I am going to write everything I have let in all of my life. My girlfriend beautiful, she is a model, her heart is warm and she is perfect I truly am in love with her, I would like to make a family with her one day. but at the same time I don't it's not fare to her or me, ahhhhhhh sorry I can't put anything in order I guess since this is my first time telling anyone it's all just blurting out, sorry for the incoherence of this rant. well what else, i dunno what else to put really, i was just taking a shower and felt like i really needed to do this and thought of a bunch of things i was going to put in here but after drinking my starbucks i feel fine again.
It is very much a healthy thing to be sexually attracted to both sexes. There is nothing wrong with liking both. Getting married is a big commitment and one must be faithful to their partner regardless of sexual orientation. If you aren't ready to tie yourself down for the rest of your life then maybe you aren't prepared for marriage. Hope it all works out for you, whatever you choose to do.
I was in the same position as you except for I am a girl who had a boyfriend even though I knew I was gay. I was with him from the time I was 16 until I was 23 knowing perfectly well that I wasn't attracted physically/sexually to him. It was just that I loved everything else about him. I had even been with a girl before him, so I really knew. He and I would have been perfect together. Plus I was scared to come out. What if I were wrong? What would people say? Especially after everyone thought I was straight all that time. Would I be alone forever? It fear and thoughts went on and on. So we got engaged, because I thought it was the right thing to do. A month before I was to get married I met a girl who I fell head over heels for. I could not help my strong attraction to her. This scared me even more, it just confirmed it all for me. So, I told my boyfriend about my feelings and we decided to not get married. It was the worst time of my life. But that was over 2 years ago. Now, i've been with that girl for two years, i've come out to everyone, and almost everyone has been supportive of it. It's like a huge weight off my shoulders. You will have to go through some rough times, but it will get better. The best thing I did was surround myself with supportive people.
Go where your heart takes you be honest with yourself and then others,this is difficult stuff!Ultimately you don't want to make decisions you're gonna regret.I like both sexes but for different reasons,I've never been able to choose between the two permenately.I don't always like it this way but I can't change what I am so I go with the flow.Come to an understanding with yourself.Try to be a little fearless looking in the mirror,figure out what's scary to you about this and take time to understand yourself the best you can,don't be harsh.It's ok to be yourself.You're in the right place by the way. Hang on in there ! It maybe cloudy skies for awhile but you'll get through it. Joey***** :saucer: Take me to your leader
