God dammit! what the fuck is wrong with me? Background info, 19 yr old male, generally 'innocent', never had sex or oral sex, made out fondled etc all that stuff I've done. Anyway, I have this recurring problem, the problem is that even when an oppurtunity presents itself, I either: Miss the cue/wait too long Don't take the risk at all! Liiiiike, I was with my mates at a club, chilling, they're not really the 'dance' type, they more play the wall and scope the place out etc, I tried this out cause usually when I go to clubs I dance quite a bit. As I was leaning on the wall, chilling with my mates and having a beer, I notice these 3 chicks in front of me, didn't pay much more notice to them though. Few mins later I notice they're right in front of me, and one of them is quite close to me with her back turned, I look to her friend who's facing her (therefore facing me) and she sorta smiled at me. Now this chick is like | | this close to my errr, crotch? lol. When I see other guys in this position, they usually just put their arm around the girl and have a dance/grind, yet I just fucked stood there, still leaning on the wall, drinking with my mates. I just thought "well there's a lot of people here, maybe she's getting closer to me cause there's not much room" cause I was right next to/on the wall. About 4 mins of semi-dancing/talking to her friends, her friends grab her and point to a different place in the club, and they move away. At this point I just thought "why the fuck did I not do anything?". Club situations make it so hard, I dunno. I know the general response will be like "pick up your nuts and take a risk, put your arm around her/talk to her" - but then I think, what IF I do put my arm around her, and she isn't into it at all? I'd feel like a huge jackass and it would be pretty embarassing :/ Anyway, I know you can't really say much to help me out other than man up, so I guess this was just a rant. If you made it this far down the post, congrats, sorry for wasting your time. I appreciate any responses too, but yeah, there's no right/wrong answer other than "take a risk" which I'm too worried to do, unless shes like grabbing me and shit, then I'm in there like swimwear! peace hipforums !
Talk to her. She is right there probably thinking to herself "If only he would talk to me. He's so cute. I want to dance with him and..."
in that situation if u just put your arms around a girl whos just standin there talking to her freinds the most likely responce would be what the fuck are you doing, get away from me... but a smile & a hi how ya doing at least shows youve noticed her & from there ya can go anywhere but just grabbing her will probly get ya slapped
meh, clubs suck as a place to meet someone for anything other than a tease or one night stand. if you want a real relationship... try somethign else. school, clubs of similar interest, even the internet/free dating sites work better imho
Yeah I know, you're fully right. that's why in those club situations I'm not looking for a gf. Just some fun ;p
Is the reason you're holding back because you don't want to lose your Vs on a night out with a relative stranger? Maybe the reason you haven't had sex yet is that you are waiting to find someone special to share it with. Don't feel pressured to do something just because you think you should. On the other hand, if you want it, go for it! Women tend to be more reserved about pulling a guy, sometimes we just leave hints and wait for the guy to take the lead. So I'd second soaringeagles advice, if someone approaches you, smile at them, they might be feeling as insecure as you and at least a smile would reassure them, and who knows what might happen from there?
Fuck clubs, what are you, a hollister homo? How about you go meet somebody somewhere that matters. And don't be such a wimp. Chicks hate that noodly bullshit. Even if you're really self conscious, feign confidence (feign isn't quite the word, but I can't think of a better one), and in time you'll learn to ignore self consciousness.
