What's the deal with guys and virgins?

Ok, so I've been thinking lately...I'm turning 21 this week, and I'm still a virgin. In fact, I've never been kissed. It's not that I'm not into sex, believe me, I masturbate. I'm just really not into emotionless sex.

Anywho, my reasons aside, I was curious about the average male's perception when they meet a virgin (assuming they aren't virgins themselves). It's not really that I care, it's just...I feel like most guys make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. So far, most guys seem to fall into two categories on this issue...they either A) Get disappointed and lose interest cause they think it means they'll never get any, or B) Get all excited about it, like "Yeah, dude! I get to be her first! I get to pop her cherry! Check it out, bro!! Hahahaha!" Sorry, but that's just creepy to me. Not to mention extremely predatory. I'm not a goddamn antelope, you psychos!

I just feel that when the time is right for me, it'll stop being a question. If I care about the guy, it would happen eventually. It just sucks, because I don't date, and it's not just because I think it's a stupid, fake way to meet people. It's also because I don't want to have my first kiss with some guy I barely know on some lame first date. And I wouldn't want to reveal my inexperience on a first date either...bah!

Sorry, this has become a rant. But could I get some insight? Thanks.

 

The first thing I'd say is, how do they know you're a virgin, unless you tell them? If I were you I wouldn't tell them about it until you get to the stage where you want to have sex with them. There's no reason for them to know until then. So, if you don't make a big deal about it, they probably won't either. And if a guy asks you if you're a virgin on your first date, I'd be pretty wary about him.

And there's no reason to even kiss on the first date, unless you want to, and even then it needn't be a full-on passionate thing, it could just be a quick kiss to say 'bye.

 

My first kiss, and my first shag were a couple of weeks apart from each other, when I was 17, most of the people around me had started kissing years before, and in a way, I wish I had had my first kiss earlier, so I didn't feel left out. But as for the first time I had sex, I am glad I waited. I was his first too, and we are married now, and I like the knowledge that he is the only person I have ever had, and that I didn't lose it on some meaningless encounter. From his point of view, he is proud that he took away my virginity, although not in a laddish brag-to-your-mates sort of way.

I think when you find the right guy, you are right, it will stop being a question. The right person won't make you feel like they're disappointed, and will have enough sensitivity to show you that it isn't a conquest.

If you feel like dating, then you should, not every date ends up with a relationship, and you can always say no?

 

Strawberry Fields - you are on the right track. Don't let what others do disturb your own timetable for having your first intercourse. When it feels right for you to do it, you will know. And do it with the right guy - he will regard it as really a special thing that you decided to give up your virginity to him.

Dating is a way to get to know the opposite sex intimately - you cannot know another human being in any closer way. It is also a rehearsal for the ultimate long term relationship 95% of us have - marriage. And intercourse is the most intimate of all relationships you can have with the opposite sex - if it all goes perfectly, for a few moments the two of you actually meld together into one living being, perhaps when you also are making a baby. This happened to me and my late wife one Christmas Eve years ago, and identical twins resulted nine months later...

 

Dont stress about it.. I was a virgin until about 8 months ago.. and honestly.. i feel no different now then i did then.. people put so much stock into someone being a virgin or not.. and u know what it doesnt matter.. the fact that someone is a virgin or not should matter the guy should like you for you.. not because of some pointness label.. just take it slow.. enjoy dating.. and dont think that every guy is going to be the one or that every guy is a dick.. and just be chill.. and u will have a good time

 

You wonder why people make such a big deal about virgins.. but you obviously are very weary about who you first kiss.. or shag.. in my opinion.. if your up for sex and would enjoy it then just go ahead and date a guy.. even if it is 'fake' and even if you havent known him for long.. who you have sex with is only a big deal if you make it one.. why should it matter if the first person you get with knows you well or not? Just like you said... the fact that youve never done it before shoudlnt be such a big deal... so.. if you fancy it.. forget about being a virgin and just fuck a guy that takes your fancy.. (im not saying you should be easy or anything.. but its up to you). After all.. sex is just a very physical way of enjoying ourselves.. it shouldnt be a big deal who your fucking or why... unless of course you make it one. As long as you practice safe sex.. and don't sleep around then your bound to have a good time.

 

I agree with you emotion filled sex is soo much better, i lost my virginity to a really good friend and we genuinely care about each other, we knew it was right when we got close. a guy i shagged not too long ago was a big mistake he was terrible selfish and rude, you should trust the person before you have sex especially before you give your virginity.

 

The problem with virgins is they tend to want to follow you around.

 

I can't afford to be fussy .......

 

Sex is just sex... you always remember your first time, but it is never the best or most memorable!

 

Do they still have the Sutro Baths in San Francisco? If so how about going to an orgy house for your first time?

 

was never a big deal to me if she was a virgin or not cause it gonna be good anyway