***The Emperor Has Arrived!***

On This, somewhere between the tenth and eleventh of September, Year of our Lord 2004, I do hereby proclaim myself, Emperor Jones the I, to be the emperor of the internet.

As the Emperor of the Internet, I would like to point out a few new rights and rules I have put in place.

1. All Citizens of the Internet are entitled to free porn.

2. All forms of 'Spam' 'Spyware' 'Adware' and 'Popups' are strictly forbidden under penalty of exile.

3. Unless otherwise stated in big pink letters proclaiming
WARNING: WHINE ZONE AHEAD
all citizens of the internet shall be able to express themselves however they wish without fear of being reprimanded.

4. All citizens of the internet are entitled to a no-expenses-paid vacation to either Cancun, Amsterdam, Edinburgh, Sydney, Hawaii, Dublin, Tokyo, Casablanka, Berlin, Moscow, London, Baghdad, Hong Kong, Hill City, or any other destination of your choosing.

Thus concludes the Imperial Pronouncement, proclaimed somewhere between September 10 and September 11.
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5. All persons participating in child pornography shall be turned into arcade machines.

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good one, crummy edorses this.

 

Well, there is always a reason for cake

 

ice cream cake?

 

6. All Moderators of Forums who are found guilty of abusing their power shall be banished into RL for a period up to seven years but not less than seven hours.

 

..........ok, ..............can we say BIG print BAD, SMALL print GOOD

 

7. Cake, in all it's forms, shall always exist completely unrestricted on the internet.

 

At least it's not like this.

Please respect your Emperor.

 

ummmmmmm, uh........whuteva!!

 

..............aaaaaah that caused a braain sppppppppppasm .

 

mmmm yes *drools*

 

** hands over napkin and bucket**

 

8. Brain Spazms are encouraged so long as the spazee trasfer his/her spasm into creative output. If the spazee does not profit from his/her spasms, it is permisible for any other citizen to hit him/her with a wooden stick not exceeding 2 centimetres in diameter and not exceeding one metre in length.

 

*cartman voice* what eva, i do what i want!!

 

There is already a ruler of the internet.

www.yzzerdd.com

 

BAH!

FOUL BEAST YOU SHALL NEVER MENTION MY ARCH-ENEMIES URL AGAIN!

 

im still doin what i want you cock sucking turd muncher

 

so friend is now an emporer......is that a step up or down from god?

 

.....................yeh what he said...