please answer this question

Hey everyone,

im new at the hip forum, was looking through and found this website, i must say its a great place for one to talk abt their points of views, and get appriated comments by others on ur opinion, i come from a muslim family, and our culture strongly believes in arrange marriage. im enaged to this guy who's back home(pakistan), in the army.. my parents wants me to get married , but i have no feelings what so ever for this guy. if i choose not to marry him, my family will disown me. i was born and raised in NY, and i want to do what my heart tells me to do, yet i dont want to hurt my loved one's, i dont love the guy, and im not attracted to him at all, i consider it my only mistake to have gotten enaged at the first place, i dont want to regret more, therefore im seeking for opinons, i've came w/ the decision that maybe its best i live my own life, cuz the only way to overcalm this issue is by me moving out, cuz my family wouldnt accept my decision,

wat can i do ?

 

you know you should do what make you happy yes they will disown you but move out on your own......... cause if you don't love him and get married you ain't ever going to be happy......you said it best do what your heart tell you

 

Welcome Aboard 'sana naz321'

There are forums just for this type of discussion....click on forums...like relationships..
an look at threads as well....start your own thread as well.....

Enjoy our forums

 

thanks hitman, thought noone would get to my question .. lol..


im a very confident person believe me, but just thinking or imagine the fact that i would be have no relationship w/ my family after i move out brings 2nd thoughts, life is too short and i want to live it my own way, i guess its difficult for my family to accept my decision cuz they think theres noone else better then him, but yes ill definatly go w/ my inner feeling thoughts,

 

I agree with Stars...there are boards for this.

However, since it's here, I'll give you my advice.

I worked with a man that was muslim-from Turkey. He was put into the same situation with arranged marriage...what he did was sat his family down and told them that he was going to America to find his future-that includes his wife.

They should understand YOUR wants, needs, and beliefs. That is just my opinion, though.

 

life is to short to live it unhappy and i wish your family cound respect how you feel and understand.... but if they don't you have to do what is best for you

 

i figure it was easy for men to get out of arranged marriage....... but i knew it was'nt easy for the womwn to get out of it

 

perhapes ur right , i dont plan on just walking out, i will speak to my parents and tell them how i feel, if they dont respect my decision i guess i have no choice but to pick my own path, the reason why it confuses me is cuz a couple of months ago i bought this issue up, and we had a huge drama where my cell phone was taken away from me, i had to leave my job , cuz i was accused of having a b/f.. etc..

 

u wont believe hitman, but my bro is married to a polish girl, and yes my parents r cool w/ that, i guess cuz he's a guy .. (Smiling), whats ur name by the way? hope u didnt mind me asking ur name

 

my name is James.. what is your name if you don't mine me asking...i don' mine you asking it at all .... but see about your bro the men can do what they want but the women gets a bad deal

 

Sana? I hope it works out for you in the end. Say...are you from Connecticut?

 

my name is actually sana,-yes its my real name, lol..

james ur advice really got me more confident abt my decision, i dont even know what else to say to u , its soo difficult to talk to someone u know in person, cuz theres always a fear that they might mess things up for u by telling ur family the deal... i guess thats why they say true friends r hard to get now adays, i never thought ill be here in a forum discussing my personal issue w/ anyone, but im glad i did so.

 

yes i am from connecticut, wat abt u?

 

I'm in New Britain, about 10 miles sothwest of Hartford.

 

kl71 i guess ur from ct aswell, (Small world) , im from north haven

 

i use to travel there while i was on training,

 

Yep! Born and raised in New Britain. Lived in Maine twice, but most of my time has been here. Is that a good thing? You be the judge!

 

sana i am glad that i could help you out... it just you being happy in life is the most important thing..well talking to someone you know could mess it up for you also people you know might try to judge you for your decision.....i am glad you did come here and talk to us about it if you want to talk more i can pm you my email address or msn or aim or yahoo name for instance messager or we can talk right here on forum

 

wat can i say, i lived in between both ny and ct , i guess it must've been some good experience for u , wats ur name

 

james thats very nice of u , i would love to write u emails and let u know how its going, wats ur yahoo id?