How many bf's is too many?

EDIT:

Me and my girl already worked this out... all's well that ends well... thanks for the continued comments etc. but i've posted several new comments which the majoity of you failed to read and instead continue to indirectly state how hypocriticaly i'm judging my girl - which is not the case at all. The question stated was simply a phyllisophical one on the nature of modern day society. This seems to be a very touchy subject for many of you and I appologize for bringing it up.

If any administraters read this, I request that this thread be closed down, thanks for your time and patience.

 

There is no rule and if you really care about her it shouldn't matter. If you don't mind asking how many people have you been with?

 

Man would I be in trouble if I included anyone I made out with in my list of people I had sex with.

As for is 4 too many. Well if she started at 15 and had each boyfriend for say 3 months that wouldn't be too bad. Now if it was 4 in one night....wow she likes a good party.

Basically her past is that...the past.

How long have you been together? Have you had sex? If so, how long did you date before the first time? How many partners have you had? The age matters very little in this case. Some men can't deal with the fact that a woman has had several partners and are in their 30's. I know how many women my husband has slept with and I couldn't care less. All I know is that he makes me happy and that is all that matters.

 

its the past....... LEAVE it in the past..... who cares how many dicks one person sucked, really?? I should insert a clerks quote here.......

 

its not like its one a week, or as though shes cheated on a partner, its not that bad

 

that no big deal in fact think them are low numbers..... but if you love her you should'nt have any problem understanding

 

Hey thanks for the comments everyone. We talked about it a lot yesterday and i'm content with it now I think. It really isn't that bad, i'm prone to a little paranoia once in a while i guess. haha, wonder what induces that eh?

She's a sweetheart and loves me like crazy, and the feelings mutual, so like most of you said, it shouldn't matter anyway.

Thanks a million.

~A.

 

I kept a little black book up until I got engaged and let me tell you-the number of guys I had made out with/messed around with was far more than that by the time I turned 16!

However, if she respects herself now, you shouldn't worry-that was her choice then.

 

The past is the past. If it was a year ago, or something close to that, I'd give more credence to it, but that long ago? Some girls experiment young and grow out of it as they mature, some girls wait until they mature and go slut fuckin crazy, while some others push society's sexual expectations to their limit for as long as their breath will hold them. The real question is who are you to judge?

If she acts sweet and reserved now, respect her for what she is, and not what she was. We all have a past. Don't forget that. If she'll live with yours, why would you not live with her's?

 

pfft. other people's rules never fit me. i had as many "boyfriends" and lovers as i felt like having and fuck anyone who didn't like it, until i found the right fit. my mama loves me and that's that.

 

I'm guessing it was at least quadruple that and that's why you didn't specify =P

 

My Wife is limited to two boyfriends at any one time.

More than that is too much !

 

it is a lotta work, but if you have nothing else to do...

 

See man, a lotta you automatically assume that i'm some sex hungry brute asshole guy that's screwed millions of chicks and is just judging my girl. Ok i admit without hessitation that i'm not a virgin, but sex - to me - is something deeply meaningful, call me oldschool, but i respect a women, myself, and love enough to keep my belt on long enough when i'm drunk.

I respect the fact that for a lot of you your first response is to ask me how many girls i've been with, but were talking 16 here... the truth is that kids having sex at that young an age is something that's only gained in popularity over the last generation. I'm not saying i'm a saint myself, but there's more to the story anyway, even besides that... one of those 4 was a 30 year old guy who got her hooked on Heroin, one of the other ones was a junkie homeless kid. And my girlfriend wasnt raised on the street either, so it's not like she was raised with that kinda stuff and it was inevitable.

Now she says i'm the best thing that ever happened to her, her savior, etc etc etc. I cant help being human though, the fact that a 30 year old junkie took advantage of her when she was a young 16 year old girl, that's kinda natural that that bothers me I think. And to boot it wasnt rape or anything, she says she was really really lost back then but that it was voluntary. And that's just one of her x-es.

But even besides the sob story,... when did it become normal to dismiss sex as a free for all pastime? I'm not a preachers son either, and love spending an entire weekend such as this one in bed having sex... but to me that doesnt mean that it's ok for kids - we're talking 15 - 16 years old, to be with entire lists of guys before they're old enough to even buy a pack of cigarettes.

I'm crazy about this girl, and this relationship is really really working out fantastic. I'm just always surprised by the reactions on this typ'a question... it's always "oh but what kinda guy are you? what have you done?" Sometimes there's more to the story and we're not all hypocritical sex adicts that disrespect women, by assuming that at first glance i'd say the tables would sooner be turned on that.

Thanks a lot for the comments though... we talked it all out already... and it's all cool now.

 

wait you are a 23 year old dating a 16 year old??

 

Na man, she's 19... it came up when we were talking about our mutual pasts.

 

I'd rephrase it that if the number bothers you, she might not be the right woman for you.
Giving her "freedom" to date as many people as she wants to does not take your freedom to choose women on the basis of their past relationships.

Its possible that you may be two good people who don't make a good couple.

 

yeah. if you can't get over it, you need to seek life elsewhere. as for me, i wouldn't consider that at all unreasonable. women have WAY more offered to them in terms of sex than most men do.

 

Hey... once more... thanks a lot for the feedback... but we've already resolved it and it's turned out perfectly. Nothing a little communication cant fix. The rest of my comment was because i was surprised at the automatic assumtion that i was hypocritically judging my girl... the original question was simply because it was on my mind and felt like talking about it, then in the meantime me and my girl worked it out already. Thats all, so thanks for the feedback, but it's worked out already. My main concearn is looking out for my girl at this point.

 

no worries, i'm glad it worked out. but the PAST of your woman's love life is NOT about looking out for your girl. it's about looking out for you. honesty is the best policy.