Bi or Gay? (long)

Okay, so here's my story, and it's long, so bear with me.

I've been dating my boyfriend, James, for 7 months and everything is wonderful. My confusion stems from the way James and I were introduced almost a year ago...

I met James when I started a new job last October and he was introduced to me as, well, quite frankly "the little GAY mexican." LOL. Anyway, at the time, i was semi-involved with someone else via snail mail. It was a long distance relationship, and we didn't have phone or internet communication available to us. Well, to try and make the long story a little shorter, James and I became friends pretty much since my first day on my new job, and in order to have an unbiased outsider's opinion on my semi-snail-mail-relationship, I brought in a few of the letters this guy was writing to me for James to read and tell me what he thought. The more James and I talked, the stronger the connection grew - no different from any other friendship, but then we started flirting with each other as we became more and more comfortable with our friendship. At first I thought it was harmless flirting...What girl DOESN'T flirt with her gay friends, right? As the weeks passed, though, I started to get the feeling that James was serious about some of the flirty statements he would make.

When my pen-pal relationship thingy ended, James was one of the first people to hear about it. It was at this time that he said something that made it perfectly clear that my suspicions were dead-on. We started talking about dating, and after 2 weeks of sheer confusion, I decided "what the hell?" and went for it.

Over the past 7 months, most of my doubts, fears, and confusion about getting involved with a formerly gay guy have been assuaged, but there are still some lingering questions.

#1: James claims now that he's bisexual, but he also says I'm 1 of only 2 females that he's ever been genuinely attracted to. Also, his track record is like 163 men to 3 women including myself and one drunken mistake. Doesn't that make him more gay than bisexual?

#2: If that is the case? How can I honestly expect this relationship to last "forever?" Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt that he loves me when he says it, but can essentially gay men really change their tune?

#3: To all you ladies who have dated or are dating bisexual men, how do you deal with the worry that your guy will find someone else, especially when it could be a man or woman that takes his focus from you? I trust my guy completely to not cheat, but that doesn't mean some belle or beau isn't going to walk by one day and sweep him off his feet and leave me behind in the dust.

Sorry so long, those are just some of the things that cross my mind every now and then...I would appreciate some feedback if you all would be so kind.

Love, Peace, and Happy Posting!

 

1. He's bisexual, he says so and his past relantionships say so. He may lean towards gay relantionships, but how can he be gay if he's been dating you for 7 months? And believe him when he says hes bi, being bi myself, i absolutely hate it when someone doubts my bisexuality or says that I'm "really" one or the other.

2. You can expect this relantionship to last forever just as much as you can any other. Bisexual doesn't mean "gotta have both" it means "One or the other."

3. I'm not a lady but I am a bisexual guy, so maybe I can help here. Don't expect him to cheat anymore than you would anyone else. Your in the same situation (cheating-wise anyway) that you would be in if you were dating a straight guy. He may cheat, he may not.

The only other thing I can say is that I like a little role reversal in my relantionships with women. I don't like to play the aggressor in the relationship all the time. Even if its just me being the little spoon in a spooning situation. but thats just me. He might not like that at all. I'm just saying be open to it.

Hope this helps....