I am no expert on anything' but I have learned some things about survival in the 58 years I've been here. I have not used any illegal drugs or any alcohol at all for 7 years now. I am happy to be here and love life again. I have managed to stop self destructive behaviours before it killed me. Now' I am a retired trucker with enough money to pay my bills and live free. Freedom meaning no addictions or compulsive habits to deal with anymore. Now' I would like to help other people to do this if you really want to stop using' I may help you with what I learned about what works and what don't. I started using drugs and drinking around 1964 and finally stopped everything completely nearly 7 years ago. I have been through treatment in-patient and out about 7 times. The last time was inpatient' court ordered and was for 3 months in my home state of Washington. There is a huge amount of relapse in the current system. Basically' it's a mess. Most people'by far don't make it and there's good reason for that happening. But if you can understand why you go back to using and then stop yourself from picking up again' you will stay clean. But like everything else' there is a trade off involved.There is work to be done.You cannot spend years getting high or drunk then expect to go through a spin dry 3 week crash course of in-patient treatment and expect it to hold you and keep you from relapse. Maybe 1 out of 100 will stay clean. The longer you used the longer you need to be away from the problem and instead going to meetings and away from your old "friends"-- One of the first things we do once we get out of treatment is to jump right back into old life. WRONG!!-Thats the big trade off-if you really' really want to stop using drugs and alcohol you need to say goodbye to any old "friends" that use drugs and alcohol. This is the most important thing needed to as you walk out of your old life and into your new life.The idea that you can go hang out while your buddy drinks a beer is not ever going to work-Maybe once or twice but you are an alcoholic and/or an addict. The rules are different for you-There's an old saying-If you hang around a barbershop long enough you will be getting your hair cut.You also can't expect to go with friends to a bar to hear music and nurse a Coke all night-again' it won't work for you-Now' are you willing to do these things to live a better life? I did' and I have not regretted a thing-none! Change your playground and your playmates. There is no way for you to hang out with your buddies and not use while they are. It will not work-I don't care how good your intentions are and how good you think your "will power" is-YOU WILL RELAPSE!-So' then you cry about losing all your old "friends" and to be honest I do miss some of them sometimes' but to me they are toxic and will; without even trying; put me right back where I so desperately worked to get away from. So' life gets slower and yet little by little 'sanity returns in your life and this amazing' wonderful organ called the brain' starts to heal and your thoughts are becoming much more clear and your heaviness and worry slowly fades and is replaced by a new feeling of strength and hope and just feeling good!-I now have my self esteem and self respect back after having it go missing for so many years and can now feel for other people around me. Drugs and alcohol are a mask. Once it's removed you find you never needed it to begin with. Drugs and alcohol are an illusion-They create' then magnify fear and doubt where there was once only a small' yet manageble and "normal" amount. We all learn to cope with our "normal" day to day insecurities and dounts about ourselves.But' once the addiction process takes hold' these fears and insecurities expand and turn into a huge stone around the neck or "monkey on the back"-Now' even the smallest problems seem overwhelming and we feel helpless. But we really aren't helpless' but the new problem makes it seem as though it is all too much to handle. So' we use more to try to rid ourselves of this "big problem" of ours-But it dosen't go away' it gets worse because now we not only can't fix the old fears and doubts we had but now we have a new one eating away and bringing us even further into a feeling of hopelessness and despair. This is what is one of the major causes of the compulsive behaviour. We try to fix this new problem and eleviate the stress going on by self medicating.It's a vicious cycle and the only cure is YOU!-No preacher' no therapist' no girlfriend or boyfriend or parents or anyone but YOU have the power to make it right again and to take back your life and watch as this all consuming dread fades away and you see the sun shine again-and it's beautiful. It's amazing when that cloud lifts! -It's just hard for me to tell you the difference between now and then-Like night and day.I was hiding behind that junk for so long I lost me-Now' life is good and it's all real and the truth is right there up front. My old "friends" are either dead or in jail or running from the law and I am healthy' Thank God 'and I would like to help anyone get this addiction off their back-If you want to talk to me-I am available to help you-Maybe just talk you into not picking up for one more day. I have used every drug ever made at one time or another and drank myself stupid so many times I can't begin to count them-Been in and out of alot of county jails and have survived and would like to help others to do the same. Wanta quit? Want some free help-Lets talk. I am honest and have no reason to lie about anything-I have lost many family and friends to this stuff and if I can help someone to turn their life around' I'd love to do it. Others helped me-so it's my turn-Send me an Instant Message if you like-Rob
O-yea-it could have used a few more I guess' but at least my spelling is decent right?-Bad spelling drives me nuts-a little is cool- alot is not.. Matter of fact' I'm thinking of getting a voice activated system-whatever they call those. I think the price is coming down now and I can get away from pecking on this board . I've been burning talking books of Dean Koonze and Steven King for my car when I travel to the coast-Makes for a good drive-Just kick back and listen to the story. Much better then reading it.
Here's my question for all of you... How much is too much? When do you know when you have crossed the between recreational use and addiction? I'm not trying to sound like a badass or anything like that... But I use more drugs than almost everyone in my grade. There is a difference between me and the other people though, it seems like I can keep it together more than they can. The only time I've been frantic or deeply wanting drugs was after a 3 day coke binge, and I am not proud of that. Thoughts?
Hmm, some good stuff said here, but I've no intention of quitting any of the cornucopia of drugs I do. You say that you have more money if you stop, and that's true - but really, what's there to spend it on? if you can pay the bills and have enough left over for some acid or a sack of weed, where's the problem?
I am a Hauptsturmführer in the Waffen-SS and one of Hitler's most valued military advisors when it comes to spelling and punctuation and let me tell you, you have seen nothing yet. These forums are a mess. Adult anglophones not knowing the difference between 'there', 'they're' and 'their' and much worse. It's torture every time I'm on these forums. Oh. And it's grammar. with an a. In fact, mr. Robspace does a pretty good job. Thanks man, this is information people may actually benefit a great deal from, in contrast to the bulk of this forum's topics. Remember the 14 words: We must secure the existence of our language and a future for correct spelling.
i've quit weed i was never an alcoholic to begin with so i'll still drink pn a special occasion or drop a pill very rarley at a rave but weed turned into an addiction it taught me things i will rerember so there is no more need to damage my lungs and need it but when i retire on my commune i will grow it i think weed is quite easy to quit but i have strong will power
Rob's right on the money here about addiction..The system that is in place now, what ones call re-hab is just a farce.. I'm not certian that even 1 out of 100 stay clean after they are released back into the same inviroment from wince they came. You can not enter a den of snakes and not expect to get bitten. I went all the way from 63 to 95 without addiction.. I did drugs everyday.. I was a speed freak, I was a junkie. Not the whole time.. but I married a Street Man who became a junkie.. he taught me..I was 17..I was junkafide for several yrs. It clashed with my LSD upbringing, my Spirit side.. when the babies started coming along I just put it down.. left the street junkieman and left the inviroment.. I still had my smoke but I laid the needle down for good with a passion.. now I am a crusader against hard drugs.. the manmade kind. In 93' I was hurt on the job and was in terrible pain and unable to use my right arm. I went to doctor after doctor, even tho I hated pills and preached against their use or I should say over use and laid in agony for 18 months bc the doctors with all their education and fancy equiptment could not find the source of my discomfort. I really couldn't live with the pain anymore so I took their damn pills. Lorcet, 2-3x a day 10/650, Prozac=20 mil. 2 x a day. I took them for Three Years everyday morning noon and night.. I followed the doctors orders and took them as prescribed.. they finely diaognosted me with Carpal Tunnle Syndrom and started cuting up my right arm.. I had Five surgeries in that yr (95) and I didn't get any better.. still on the pills in 98. I get bad sick.. had to go into hospital.. I thought I was dying, my stomach was on fire, I was doubled over for 12 hours vomiting before my hubby came home and found me on the floor covered in puke. He rushed me to the ER.. I was screaming , yes screaming, I was in agony.. My doctor came in an orded a huge pain killer shot.. I begged him to just knock me out, he did.. while I was 'out' they ran a camera down my throat and found Five bleeding holes in my stomach, my tummy was full of blood, I was bleeding internally. I lay in and out of conciousness for four days, my poor hubby by my bedside worried sick, my children gathered around with tears running down there faces. They pumped my stomach and drained half a gallon of fluid and blood outta me for several days shooting me full of morphine four times a day. When I came out of my delierium my doc came in with the pix of my stomach.. OMG, they were huge and you could see the blood squrting out.. my hubby almost passed out..He can dress out a deer but human blood doesn't set well with him. As for me, when I saw it.. all my whole self knew it was the pills I had beeen taking.. the doc himself confirmed this, he had run test for the virus that causes ulcers and I didn't have it. Which leads me to my point (thank goodness you say When I left the hospital Eight Days Later, I did not take another pill. I stopped Cold Turkey bc I did not want to die from them. Three days after I quit, I started freaking the fuck out.. I had never freaked out in all my yrs of LSD, DMT,STP and all the other mind expanding drugs I had done in the past. I became paranoid to the point of running out the back door and hiding in the chicken coop when the phone rang. I was all ajubble inside and could not think clearly. I wouln't let anyone get near me.. screaming insanely.. My mother nor my husband could calm me down.. They called 911 and I refused to go with them, screaming they were trying to kill me. My hubby finely just picked me up and put me in the truck and took me to my docs office to the back door.. he had to carry me in.. I was terrorfide thinking it was a conspiracy to do me in.. They all finely got me inside inna a room and gave me a tranqulizer shot.. The doc asked what was going on and hub had bo idea.. he, doc asked if I was still taking the pills, hub told him I had stopped when I got out of the hospital, doc freaked and said I should not have just quit, but I could not in my heart keep taking them when I knew they were killing me, and I couldn't understand why my doc would give me something that could kill me. I knew it was up to me to take control back for my life. I stopped going to the doctor and I never took another of their pills agin either.. I just stoped, my life was more important then my pain. Was the same with drinking.. I could throw them back and drink most men under the table.. when I had enough and I realized that drinking was making me spiritually sick I stopped drinking too.. well I stopped getting drunk.. I may still have an occational Toddy for the Body, I just dont do it much and I don't get drunk. If you missed my point, what I am saying, it will have to come from you, inside you.. you are the only one that can do it.. and you have to keep away from others that are doing it.. it takes a long time to get the shit outta your body mind and spirit.. but it can be done if the want it there, you have to want it and make it happen for yourself. Once you get off of it, really off of it, you will come to hate it and hate that your 'friends' are doing it.. it will disgust you and make you sick to see it in others. That will be when you are truely free from it. Brightest Blessings on your journey sh
I totally agree than rehab is crap.. which is why I never bothered. Admittedly it's better than going to prison, so if I ever got caught on a posession charge I'd go for rehab rather than jail given the choice.. it's just completely ineffective. Those that WANT to quit will keep trying, those that don't want to won't quit no matter how many hours of "My name is X and I'm an addict" crap you put them through.
Good stuff Shameless-Glad ya made it!-I' am really suprised alot of times to still be here. I don't want to sound anti pot or anti havin fun ' I did so much drugs from the 60s till just 7 years ago' I was real lucky.Guess it's because of all the friends I lost So many close friends and family from this stuff it just goes from being fun to being a real drag. A must do type thing and I guess I'm just saying that it really feels good to be completely and totally free from any substance. No smokes or booze or drugs. I also have had some major surgeries. I fell from the ladder on my tanker truck and had my shoulder replaced.They give me pain meds if I want them but I lost all interest in getting loaded-wierd eh? They put a steel ball and a connecting rod in there. Now I light up the metal detectors at the airport and it's a hastle holding up lines there.lol I have had partners in there 40s drop dead on coke' heroin and my mother and brother from alcohol. My sons mom died at 44 in Portland from drugs- we had been seperated a long time and she never stopped using.I would just like people to know that they don't need to stay high to have fun. Last year I went on a cruise to Panama Canal and Costa Rica and about 5 other islands in the Caribbean- I had a blast and never drank once-This is the first time of 4 cruises and the only one I can really remember lol.-Wow! scuba dive sober is much nicer then behind gallons of rum punch. In Jamaica they will sell you weed then turn you in-be aware of that. The cruise ships tell people this before arriving there.It's funny' after we left Jamaica I was walking down the hallway on the ship past the rooms and could smell the pot coming out from under the doors LOL-You need to smoke it up before getting back into Miami cuz they have drug dogs sniffing you as you get off the ship. The Jamaicans are losing tourist bizz by doing this.Busting people for money to get paid by crooked lawyers there. Mexico is getting dangerous now too-be careful after dark down there. As far as how much is too much. When you have a voice in your head wanting-no;demanding more-then you need to quit for a while or forever. Never let anything or anyone own you or your soul. Thats freedom! Well' Delta Farce is done burning-is it any good?-Astronaut Farmer!-great movie!-New Collective Soul album on Mini Nova-real good-"Afterwards"
Quoth-There are treatment centers that are called" spin dry" for alcohol. They are 2 or 3 weeks and yes' they are fairly useless for most people. They aren't long enough. Most people are in treatment now for meth and it's that or jail. Most people don't volunteer to go in but alot want to quit using and get clean but don't know how. I went through three times ' inpatient and I did try to quit using booze and coke but every time I got back home I hung with my friends and relapsed. So' the last time' after getting another DUI I went into a long term center for 3 months and stayed clean -been clean for 7 years now and it's because I never went back to my buddies houses or the bars or clubs. I play music so not going to clubs was toiugh but worth it. Life is all about trade offs and decisions-bad ones get ya killed or incarcerated-good ones get ya laid and you wake up in the morning after actually sleeping all night and still have money on ya!-Addiction sucks and I wasted way too much money and time on it-Treatment works if you get the right place and talk to the right people. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the drug that we can't make the right decisions anymore.-Need to stop before that happens and the state steps in to make em for ya.
I've quit the hardcore stuff. No longer using heroin and heroine. And I really don't mess with much anymore. I had a bad addiction to oxycodone ( all kinds ). This is all I do now: pot, alcohol, MDMA, nitros oxide, LSD, psylocibe. The latter three are hard to come by now-a-days, so it's mostly just the first three. And that's really it.
Er. That second "heroine" was supposed to be cocaine. It's been a long time since I've been on HipForums.
