So I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, its happening all over again. Every guy I have been with has cheated on me, which I guess says something about how niave I can be but I do believe everyone has a fair chance. Anyway, I think my current boyfriend is cheating on me with his ex. She says they are dating and he blew me off for her last week and I havent talked to him since. I dont get it though because he got what he wanted before he asked me out and then he proceeded to ask me. At first I was kinda ify and told him that so we still hung out but were not dating. Then he asked one more time and I said yes. Why would he ask me out if he already had a girlfriend and already got what he wanted from me, no strings attatched? Im told this girl is kinda crazy from the people who know her. So maybe she is just being crazy and possesive (she is supposedly pregnant with his kid- which I believe is a huge act)? Or maybe something really is going on. The worst part is he dosent have a phone so I cant really get a hold of him that easy (he just moved). What do I do?
Do you have a reason to believe that he is cheating other than what the ex said? I tend to discount most things that an "ex" has to say unless it can be verified through another source. I also take into account the motivation of the ex; does she stand to benefit if you are out of the picture? In this case she does. Not every man is a cheating asshole, so try to judge a man based on his actions and not on your past experiences. Yeah, some men cheat (as do women) but not all of them. Try to base each relationships on the merits of the person.......
That's sad. Really it is. I am 36 years old and most of the men I have dealt with are decent people. Yes, I have been cheated on. Yes, some men are assholes. (The same could be said for some women) Based on a couple of my past relationships I could hate men, but instead I changed what I was looking for in a man. I met my husband 8+ years ago, and he is NOTHING like any of my ex's. He does not look the same, he does not come from the same socio-economic background, he is more educated, and he has never given me reason not to trust him. I should send out thank you cards to the assholes I dated. If they hadn't been such jerks I would never have looked at my husband with interest. Again, try not to judge people based on YOUR past, but by the person. It's hard, trust me I know, but you deserve to be happy and the only way to do that is to see people for who they are and not who you think they should be.
he blew me off last week for her. Once I know of, and the second time Im pretty sure he blew me off to go to her best friends party which obviously she would be there. Besides that I really dont think he would. I dont think he would cheat but it seems like he is. I told him I fall too fast and get hurt to easy so if he ever wanted to cheat to please end the relationship before anything happened. I told him about my past and he assured me he would never cheat. She wouldnt really benefit from us breaking up besides the fact she could weasle her way in but she is already trying to do that. He ended things with her for a reason. So im just confused. I try to base each relationship on the merits of the person, which explains why I have been cheated on so much. I believe everyone has a fair chance until they mess it up.
No clue why he would blow you off, but it usually isn't a good reason. Kind of reminds me of that book "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Bernhardt (sp?). Maybe he has a valid reason....no clue since I don't know him. In the future try not to mention getting cheated on to a potential boyfriend. I dated a guy who said he'd been cheated on..man I was walking on eggshells trying to prove to him that I wasn't like his ex. It was a miserable feeling....like I constantly had to prove I was faithful. As for he never said he would cheat....in my ex husbands words "baby, I love you too much to ever cheat on you." They were just words, spoken because he thought I needed to hear them; which was true, I did. However they were insincere, and actually it hurt more when he cheated because of those words. Eh, live and learn. Most people that have been cheated on have heard the false promises...... Sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on the situation......you know you better than anyone, so if you feel like he is cheating then go with your feelings. I can give my opinion, but in reality the only person this situation affects is you. So, I wish you the very best and hope that you find a man that makes you happy.
well it was a converstaion we had it wasnt like i brought it up and was on my knees begging him not to cheat on me lol. I just said it once and that was all. I know guys say things and dont mean them, and that totally sucks but what can you do. I dont really havea grasp on the situation which is why im asking for help. Im so confused.
If you haven't twlked to him in over a week I would consider it done didly. I wouldn't put up with that crap for a second. Also, you should attempt to examone the type of guys you are attracted to. Is your Dad still around? Any other issues from your past that might be 'confusing' your choice in partners?
well like i have said its not very easy getting a hold of one another. the guys i like are the ones that usually know how to play the game right. its not that i go for the same type of guy everytime because my exs are all very different besides the cheating thing. my dad is still around and i dont think anything from the past would make me choose the guys i choose. Unless of course you count lack of confidence.
i talked to him last night and he said he wasnt cheating and had a legit reason as to why he couldnt see me last week. his mom is in the hospital and some other stuff happened. i dont know his ex is crazy and thinks she is dating him but i guess they arent. thats what he tells me. but i dont have that gut feeling i get when i know im being cheated on so i guess i will see what happens. his ex sent me a message on myspace saying he is apparently dating both of us or something stupid and i ignored it. she also sent me a friend request trying to be all goody goody for some reason. she had her friend come up to me last night and interrigate me. i hadnt even known the girl for two seconds and she starts with questions and false accusations... some people need to realize it is not their place to say anything.
