A day in the life of Chuck Norris

Well actually his fighting style is a bit similar to Tang Soo Do. Not much to it. The Korean Martial arts are about style over substance.

Chuck Norris did have an impressive full contact karate carrer though.

And you know. Texas.

 

My favourite norris-one-liners have always been:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.​

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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a bit too much of both, I'm afraid! (possibly?)

 

Here is a list of Chuck's favorite foods:

* whiskey


Somtimes when Chuck gets tired of whiskey he'll eat bread, cheese, some tomato paste and a handfull of basil, which sounds like pizza, but its not because Chuck Norris doesn't want to give the italians the credit. Every now and then, Chuck will sit down and eat an entire plate of sausage and onions for no reason.

 

Once upon a time, after a long night of strip clubs and a case of Jim Beam, an unconscious Superman was ass raped by Wolverine... the result of this disturbing union was, in fact, Chuck Norris.

 

so funny, dave's off to the strip club RIGHT NOW. he calls it "attending the church of the holy of holies to pay his tithe."


...okay, i made all the church stuff up, but he is off to the titty bar.