Dear you,

Dear you
Your filthy tongue and heartless manner leaves me struggling to cope with fantasies of fucking you senseless.
From Me.

 

Dear You,
Every one thinks you're so bloody fantastic.
If they knew what you did to me,
They wouldn't.
-Me

 

Dear You,

You're a whiny asshole. Accusing me of being homophobic won't suddenly change that. Some of my best friends in the whole world are gay bi or trans, fuckwit. The reason you piss me off is because you act like this tragic martyr to free speech all the time, when you don't give a shit about anyone other than yourself and your own "problems", and constantly plead for an end to prejudice only when it applies to you, but then make sweeping generalizations about Americans or teenagers or people of different races or religions. Ass.

Sincerely,
Me


Dear You,

Fine, give me the overdramatic high school silent-treatment female cold war. It hurts like hell to lose a friend after five years - you're one of only three I've been able to keep that long - but I'm not going to force you to talk to me if you don't want to. You know why? Because I consider your feelings, which is more than I can say of you.

You claimed that you were going to stop being my friend because you kept giving and giving of yourself, just becoming so emotionally drained by all the wonderful advice you gave me. Every time I came to you needing support because of a minor problem my boyfriend and I had, I responded to your well-considered repetitions of "You two should break up" with resentment. Gods, how selfish I was!

Get this through your thick fucking head. If I wanted to be discouraged and feel completely alone and unloved, I could just stay home and have a nervous breakdown every time he can't call. Criticizing the person I want to spend the rest of my life with every chance you get is not advice. The fact that this pisses me off doesn't mean I'd treat you the same way if you had a problem.

As for me being a selfish bitch who doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. One: did it ever occur to you how selfish it would be for me to break up with him with my only reason being that he wasn't able to visit last time because of work, how he would feel if I broke it off like that, that maybe being in a relationship means giving of yourself and being patient and sticking out the rough times? Two: don't you even fucking accuse me of not caring about anyone else; when all was said and done in the "affair" with you-know-who I cried not over some illusion of my "lost innocence" but because I worried what would happen to his wife and children when they found out. Three: you need to really do some soul-searching before you tell me I need to be a better person. You used to be much kinder than you are now, and I worry about what could've happened to you to change you so much... and why you won't tell me about it.

As for the rest of you - whenever I confront you individually, you all claim that you're completely supportive, yet whenever she starts in on me, you're all too quick to jump in with a criticism or a suggestion of breakup. Sorry, I didn't know it was group therapy time. I won't hold a grudge on your guys, but I warn you... if you start to pull that henhouse shit on me again, the gloves are off. And I know your secrets.

Signed,
Me

 

Dear You,
It's your fucking department. Why won't you stand up? Things are all fucked up because you have no backbone. The Highuppies know it and laugh. No one wants to help you because you won't help yourself. In seventy more days I'm leaving. Good luck.

Me

 

Dear you:


Thank you for ceasing my buddies pot plants and giving him the fine that he couldn’t afford.
Now he is always over at our house mooching food and tokes - but I am thankful for the company. Cheers!

 

Dear you,
you r such a bitch and I hate you. I swear I will do everything I can to make ur life miserable. u asked it yourself. and now I have a new purpose in life and that is to make ur life harder than it is now. that is what u get for being a backstabbing slut. be careful who u mess with. B I T C H. you r completely worthless and noone would care if u were dead. and I hope u ll die in horrible pain...I dont know why was I ever nice to you. But i ve learned my lesson. I am not gonna be nice anymore, not ever and not to anyone . the bitch is back again and is here to stay. and we ll see who is gonna last longer...

 

dear you,
you have made me realize that the most perfect revenge is not caring enough to let you even affect my life in any way, shape, or form, while you have made me the center of your life goal. thank you for caring about me so much. This is a war only you are fighting.
from, me



(coincidentally, what the poster above has said is remarkably similar to what someone has recently said to me)

 

Dear you,

Can I see you boobies?

Me.

 

dear you,
no
from me

 

Dear you,
you will be affected whether u like it or not. u r going down. soon you ll have no friends and no boyfriend and no life. I am gonna turn everyone against u. cause I hate u and want u to suffer. its too late to apologize. you ll wish u never messed with me in the first place. and I will laugh. u hate to admitt it, but its not only my war. u started this and I ll finish it.S L U T

 

Dear You,
You are lazy and fat and you draw out your words a little too long. Just an FYI, 'She don't got none' is not proper english. You think you are smarter than me just because you are 20 years older than me. The fact is that age doesn't automatically raise yur IQ.
Also, the reason you do not have a Coordinator is because you do not need a Coordinator you are not as important as you think and you do nothing but sit on your cellulite ridden ass all day making eprsonal phone calls. Why do you even work in this field if you do not give a flying fuck about anything but yourself.
The huge jowls aroung your mouth make expose a life time of sadness and self-pity.
From,
Me
PS- I am going to outsmart you at our director's meeting tommorow and expose you for the lazy, worthless, apathetic piece of waste that you are. Don't for a second think you one-upped me at lunch last week bitch. I may smile and act innocent and naive, but you'd have to be a fucking mroon to believe I got where I am by being naive and oblivious.
PSS-I am not spoiled. I am just loved and have good taste.

 

Dear you,

You have lied to me so much that I don't know what to belive anymore, I though you were gone but your still here but everytime I think of the day I saw you again I wish it wouldn't have happend, I rather think you were gone and love you like I did before rather that you being here and making me feel more disapointed in you everyday. but you know what's funny? I don't hate you... I think I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life but everyday I feel like I'm in this by myself and it kills me inside to know that you are trying to run away from me rather than being with me, It's really sad that everyday I wish you would call me and say "Hey let's do something together" rather than me calling you and and not saying anything because I'm afraid you will say no. Oh well I will just let things move along, because I love you and I will always be here wating for you no matter what happens I might think I'm pathetic but I'm just in love and I will never give up because I know deep inside that you love me also because if you didn't that day that we crossed paths you wouldn't have talked to me huged me and kissed me so I know you love me your just scared... so that's why I'll be here wating for you.

From,

Me

 

Dear you,
thanks for the lovely message. you really made my day. in fact, you made my whole week. u r the first nice person I met in college and I really hope we ll stay good friends. Especially now, when we have mutual interests and mutual enemies. u made college suck a little less for me and I thank u for that. Also, thanks for studying anatomy with me. U really helped me, especially cause I suck at it. See ya tomorrow.
From J.

 

Someone is going to get it. Sounds like they have it coming too. Please, please, please report back on this one.

 

the way of machiavelli appears to be alive and well.

 

Dear you,

Your fucking annoying, take a hint and go screw your self.

Me!

 

dear you,

we have tried to be tolerant, but leaving the pizza in the oven for two hours while you sleep on the living room floor and throwing your guitar at the end table, knocking over a berries n cream and tearing bob marley from the wall is crossing over a line. pack your dirty heaps of clothes and your two-dollar coffee maker into the bag in which we, by the way, hid the corpse of your pizza, and get yer sorry ass back to the gutter where yeh belong.

 

Dear ____,

It would be best for the world and universe if you drank a quart of bleach, lit yourself on fire, and hopped off a skyscraper into a dumpster of metal shavings.

 

Thank you for renting your property to crack heads for the last 5 years. The property value in my area has gone down so now our property taxes are at a manageable level.

Your tenants have also brought back a little fun and excitement in my life ever time they wander over here looking for something to steal – I smack them around and my wife kind of gets off watching it. Lets do lunch! Cheers!

 

Dear You,

...Goddamn it.

Signed, Me.