Negative people

Why is it that there are people in this world who only feel good about themselves as long as they're bringing others down with them? Why is it that there are people who feel like they're cool and confident for making fun of others, when they don't even have the courage to do it to people's faces or to stop conforming to their peers' expecations?

Seriously, I'm trying to be myself, I really am, but it's so hard sometimes. I'm get upset really easily and I've gone through a few periods of depression, when I feel completely alone and friend-less. No one bothers me then, possibly because I hide from everyone and they all feel too sorry for me to mess with me. But when I'm happy, I feel like I can be myself and like I can do anything, and people actually like me and think I'm kinda cool. But then there are those people who make comments or look at me funny; I'm too sensitive and take everything too seriously and personally, so it really bothers me sometimes. It scares me that people can upset me like this, because now, anytime I start feeling a bit sad, I start worrying that I'm slipping into depression again.

It really bothers me that I take everything to heart like this, but really, why do people do this stuff? And how can I ignore it?

I feel like I'm complaining every time I post here, and I'm sorry if I've upset anyone, but I just wanted to get this out there... and even though I don't really know you guys, I think you'll understand this kind of stuff a lot better than anyone I know. You all are awesome, and I love you all.

P.S. Happy late World Vegetarian Day! (Oct. 1... plus Vegetarian Awareness month all October!)

 

Hi there.This is my 1st post here.Not really sure on what to say but I have this huge urge to reply to what you have written.

What I can definitly say is "YOU ARE NOT ALONE".You say that you're too sensitive and take things too personally(so what people says affects you negitively),well until now I thought I was the only one to feel this way.I hate when people talks bad about someone else(whether I know them or not) and thinks its cool.It really gets me down to see most people in the world are like that and sometimes I just feel sooooo different.Like Im not normal or I dont belong here or Im just toooo sensitive to be really happy because everyday things gets me down(like wars,hunger,governments cutting down stretches of land to build apartments and shopping centers so they can make even more money-that they dont even need).

The bigger picture is that we cant change the way of the world.There will always be "BAD" people doing and saying "BAD" things about others.There will always be people breaking down something to build up themselves(mostly for money).

What we need to do is block that out,maybe.I dont know how and I joined these forums cause I think I can learn something from it.PlEASE HELP!!!!!!.......I need the answer to this.

A little about me:
I was also depressed.About 5 or 6 months ago I almost committed suicied.Too make a long story short-out of the blue I discovered a herb called Salvia Divinorum(sure many of you guys know it).I researched it and while doing so, met lots of spiritual people.People doing meditation,yoga,aromatherapy and others that basically use that turn to the earth and themselves for answers and healing.I had no idea people like this existed.Ive used the Salvia and it almost instantly changed the way I viewed life as a whole.I suddenly had a huge repect for everyone and everything living.I loved my life and I didnt care about the problems I had.....they were so infinitly small compared to this gift of life that I had been giving.Basically from there my whole life has changed.My way of thinking has changed.I went on by making decisions based entirely on the way I felt.Started going with the flow of my life instead of constintly trying to change it to be happy.I found out that I am happy but I need to invite people into my life that has some of the same world views as I do or else I feel totaly alone.Im not a hippie.I eat meat,have a 9-5 job,etc but my life is going that route i think,or something similar.

Anyway I have started to play an active role in my life.Making decisions that make me happy and accepting the consequences if there were any.So far Ive been lead to different people and finaly to these forums.I have no idea of whats in store for my life but I am so excited to find out.

Sorry to have gone on and on and also off the topic....thanks for reading if you got this far.

 

You didn't up set me But if you feel lonely you should just try to join conversations and things like that. And you shouldn't be affraid to complain about things that's what were here for. And if you get upset you should just go some you can be alone and start shouting or singin what ever you feel like. I'm not good at theese things but i wish i made you feel better.

 

I hate complaining.I watched "THE SECRET" and found out that to make me feel better Id rather speak about something postitive than complain about something although its good to vent now and then.I want to keep my thoughts positive most of the time but people bring people down constantly.How do I become less sensitive to what others say(about me and about others).How can I let negativity do something for me in a positive way.

 

Well, first of all, let me say I am also a sensitive person. I tend to take the smallest of things to heart, although I try my best not to. Something that has greatly helped me with coping with negative people is to try to understand them. Instead of getting angry or upset with them or myself, I take pity on them. I see it as there must be something bad going on within themselves that is causing them to act in such a way. Anyone who gets pleasure from seeing others suffer, whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally, has a problem. Low self esteem can shine through a person in various ways, and one of them is being cruel to others. By trying to find faults in other people, they are relieving their minds of their own faults. It is really a very sad situation. Others try to bring people down for many other reasons, as well. Either way, it is because they are feeling terribly about themselves and their lives. The best you can do is hope that one day they can be much happier people. If you are religious, you can pray for them or do something else to wish for their happiness.

By the way, never be afraid to let your feelings out. Depression gets even more vicious when you feel you have to keep quiet. Even if you aren't comfortable sharing your thoughts with people, you can still write in a journal or find another way to empty your mind of all the negative thoughts and feelings.

 

Yes, that's the way to deal with them.

My guru explains, that people are either going up or going down. So, yes, instead of getting mad at them, one should feel compassion. Besides, those who engage in negativity will only reap the fruits of their own karma.

 

you know what, i've been through a horrific 5-year depression i'm just getting over. and, yeah, i took people down with me. it's just because i felt so alone and wanted someone with me at the bottom-when i cut and burned and did drugs and didnt care what happened to my body, i wanted pity and tried to bring others to the place i was in.
people do that, it's normal when theyre depressed. hopefully.....that helped?

 

Many people in this world are extremely insecure and fearful, because of the screwed up unnatural nature of contemporary society, and will do anything to make themselves feel alive. I prefer to smoke a bowl to get high, not beat someone in a competition, make fun of them, or any other sad form of ego inflation.

If I need to make a statement, I'll write a poem or something. Better to create than to destroy I say.

My best advice to you is to remember that no one can lower your vibrational level but yourself. It isn't what people say to you, but how you respond emotionally. Just smile to yourself and think "this poor guy, I love him and feel so sorry for how insecure he must be to be like this. hopefully one day he'll outgrow these fears".

That's similar to what I'll tell myself. Always empathize, although you seem like someone who knows that well.

 

Very true. It's all about fear and insecurity. Where do these all come from really??

Thanks for sharing.

 

First: You guys are all such amazing, kind people.

It's good to know that I'm not alone in being sensitive. I mean, my own mom has told me before that I'm too sensitive and that she always has to watch what she says to me; that made me feel pretty bad (because I'm too sensitive? ah!)... I need to work on this issue, but in the meantime, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one like this. Random thought: I wonder if this kind of personality trait is common among people of a certain zodiac sign or among hippie-type folks in general...

Thanks for all the advice, too. It's all really helpful and insightful. Life is too short to get upset and mad over every little thing, so hopefully, I will be able to work on my problems in this area. I like the idea of having sympathy and praying for these negative people, and of remembering why they might be doing or saying the things they're doing/saying. Because, really, all people are going to have their own hang-ups and such, and maybe some people just deal with it differently... From now on, I'll try to work harder to remember that these people may be insecure, that there are other people who like me as I am, and things like that... but if someone says something mean to me, I don't know that I'll be able to remember all of these things right away. Maybe it's just something I have to work on... :/

Another question: What's the difference between making yourself feel better and "bottling up your emotions?" Because when I get upset, I try to distract myself with happy music, dancing, and other things to make myself feel better, but when (if ever) does that cross the line into the dangerous land of "bottling up emotions" and not allowing myself to feel sad?

Haha, and another question: Do any of you guys have books that you could recommend to help with these kinds of things?

Thanks, and peace to you all!

 

Most of the time, people act, say negative things because they are hurting, suffering.

Sometimes, there are those who are just born that way...


Either way, don't let them drag you down. Life is too short and precious to waste on negativity.

 

negative people annoy me.
=]

 

I can emapthize with you; i too am a sensitive soul. i can recommend a book called Feeling Good by David Burns M.D. it also has a workbook. it centers on CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which is bascially changing negative thoughts into positive ones. i have had amazing results. i've worked with the set on and off for a long time. i've also worked with a therapist which has helped. the books may be enpough though since you seem committed to getting out the rut. hugs & peace.

 

I think I should also get a copy of that book.....

Anyway,there is something called RAPID EYE THERAPY(RET).I came across it a few days ago and am doing some research on it.It is said that RET helps people that has bottled up emotions and fears.Basically it induces the Rapid Eye Movement(REM) stage of our sleep process(while you are awake and conscious) and this allows all our bad energies to be let out.

So anything "BAD" that we've been brought up with will be unlearned and old fears we had will no longer be.Im not sure how this works yet but some psychologists say that it has helped many rape victims cope with their fears and live normal lives.If it can do that with rape victims then they might be on to something.

At the moment I want to try meditation.It was recomemded to me by a friend but Ive been putting it off because I had 2 bad Out Of Body experiences and I dont want to go through that again.I think meditation is a good start though....for anyone.

 

I used to be a very sensitive person, to take everything personaly and to keep it with me for a long time.
As the time goes by you realise that generally people are mean cause of their lack of self-esteem. In order to make themselves bigger in their eyes they must put down everyone else.
You can only feel pitty for those people cause they can never be themselves and trust me they have sooo much to deal with. It must be very difficult when you don't love your self. And if they are like that how they can love anyone else. Must be a very miserable world to live in for them.
Anyway great book to read (and talks about this subject too) is The Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz. It's a Toltec wisdom book and once you read it you'll understand behavior of many people around you.
Take good care and be yourself always.
________________________________________________________________________
"Better behavior around the world"

 

Question 1 Try always keep your mind positive don't run for your feelings.
Question 2 You should read Timeless wisdom or some other Hare Krishna book

Good luck with your path to enlightment

 

I'm a negative person, but not in a way that I make other people uncomfortable. I'm negative, in that I'm always scared of the outside world and uncomfortable in my own skin and a pessimist and angry at the world around me and at myself. But I try not to bother others with my issues. I'm think I actually come across overly polite, taking everything as a reason to thank people or apologise to them.

I have to say I haven't met a lot of the people you describe. Most people are friendly. Still I have trouble approaching them.

Don't have/know books, sorry!

 

right on.
there aren't enough caring people in this world if you ask me.
we all just need to chill.

 

I used to be this kind of negative, too, but meds have helped a lot with that, lol. I'm still really shy, though, and "have trouble approaching" people, like you. :/

Here at my university, there aren't too many people who will make fun of you to your face. However, there are a lot of people that will laugh/talk/gossip about you behind your back [which is especially sucky because it's a pretty small school, and so news (i.e. gossip) travels fast]. But when I was in 9th grade, there were a bunch of these people at my school... so I transferred. :/ So compared to that experience, the random rude person here isn't really a big deal; it still bothers me, though, since it seems like it's becoming a pattern that I can't really make friends without making enemies (well, not really enemies, but people who think I'm a freak).

 

Oh, I'm sorry...I thought this was the hippie forum...but I see it's the emo forum...my bad.